This movie has nothing to do with the upcoming blog, but clearly they both share the same title.
So tonight, I was refreshed with the oppertunity to spend some time with a good friend of mine. My life has been very hectic, very stressful, and very sad lately and over the past few weeks I have been overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness. Friends are taking advantage of nights off of school and work to spend time with a significant other. Family is busy getting ready to wind down from school, ballgames, work, and trips. My own school is ending but with that ending comes group projects, extra credit, studying for finals, and getting last minute reassurance of what good greats I can attain this last week. So my life, and my head, are jammed pack full of chaos. Taking a breath is nice, but sometimes even my own breath isnt refreshing. I could be alone meditating and my brain would still be running on empty.
So tonight, seeing this friend, I was refreshed. I was offered new problems to look at (that werent my own-thank God). I was shown a different pattern of living (very different from the monotonous way I have been living this semester). I was able to conversate with someone I havent had a chance to talk to in deep conversation in a while. And the break up in normal, everyday chaos was....nice. Wonderful to be exact. We didnt do anything spectacularly extraordinary but having good company doing something normal is sometimes better then doing something outrageous and being in that moment all by yourself. I have felt by myself in almost everything Ive been doing lately, so sharing a nice meal, a drive, a talk, and a few songs with an old friend is just what the doctor ordered.
We ate delicious hot wings (which I guess I am like addicted to now, thank you Wendys new Bold Boneless Buffalo Wings-hey...dont knock em til you try em). We watched a UFC fight on tv while we were there (which may not sound like loads of fun but again, with the right company it is). We left and took a drive to his new house. The night was so clear and crisp, every star was out shining for two pals to be reaquainted. The air was cold on my nose, but it was so unbelievably refreshing to feel like I could breathe for a change that I didnt mind the cold.
My favorite part was driving around, listening to music. Even through mild conversation, the silence fulfilled me in ways I havent been fulfilled in so very long. That feeling, of not being alone, of not being anxious about what is about to happen, about not having to worry about impatience because there was nothing else outside of the car. We didnt have anywhere to be, anywhere to go, no one to wait on (at that particular moment), no homework that was too important to wait, no one else's schedules we were relying on to dictate our own....we simple just were in the car, in the moment. And that moment was nice.
Little things become special in moments like that. Not knowing which song was about to play from his Ipod, not rushing to get back to anything or anyone, sitting in a seat and feeling comfortable enough to just relax and not worry, finding a safe place to be happy again, to be goofy meg in all her glory. She was back, and it was nice to see her again. Its been a long time.
Maybe with Christmas time things will get easier. Maybe the spirit of others and the spirit of the holiday season in general will lift my heart back up. I have already been graced with a friend (who is usually a complete Scrooge) confess to me that he is in the Christmas spirit, that it has taken over his body, and has asked for help in decorating his Christmas tree (wow). If that isnt something to rest your hat on, I dont know what it.
To the two guys who lifted me up tonight, I thank you.
Dream,
Meg
