So, the other day I heard that Books A Million was closing. Beyond being the girl that talks to and plays with your kid in random places, I am also the girl who technology has certainly passed. I LOVE a good book. A flip the pages, smell the printed ink, underline words, draw in the margins, dog eared, raggedy old BOOK! I love books. And I LOVE book stores. I want to walk into a book store and see books, not kindles, not nooks, not COMPUTERS that I can't love on and smell and carelessly toss in my purse, and display on a shelf. Hello, my name is Meagan (Hi Meagan) and I am addicted to BOOKS. That rant has nothing to do with this blog except for the fact that I was in Books A Million the other day, very heartbroken that they lost the battle to technology while still taking complete advantage of their going out of business sale!
I was doing some early Christmas and birthday shopping and ended up in a section of Christian books which, coincidentally was located in the same aisle as the New Age material. I found this very odd as I entered into it. To my right was tarot readings, ghost hunting, spirit guides, horoscopes, astral projection, and the list goes on and on. And to my left was devotionals for teenagers, Bibles dedicated to helping kids learn who Jesus really is, picture books for small children telling stories about Jonah and Moses and Adam and Eve, and the list goes on and on. I was looking at the children's books, for no particular reason really except that when I got there I thought "I am not sure why I ended up over here but maybe there is a hidden Christmas present in here for say my little sisters, or cousin, or whoever." And not minutes later, I was joined in the aisle by a mother and her very young daughter.
Except, they were looking on the "OTHER SIDE" of the aisle (said in a dark and creepy way of course as I chuckle out loud at my own humor). I could not see (without having rudely turned around and stared her down) what book the mother had picked up, but I intently listened to their conversation as we mingled in this very small, convenient world. The mother was very nice to her daughter, said kind things to her. And the daughter ADORED her mommy. She said things like "Mommy I just love you so much!" and "Mommy will I be just like you when I grow up?" "Mommy, I want to be JUST like you!" She kept hugging and kissing her mommy and where part of me was so happy to see such a beautiful relationship, the other part of me was sad.
The young girl kept bouncing between the two sides of the aisle, as if bouncing on an invisible line between Heaven and hell, Salvation and waste, Light and dark....(On a side note, do NOT hear me saying that this little girl is going to hell because her mom had her in the new age aisle. Clearly I am whipping out what little writing skills I have to attempt to prove a point very metaphorically.) She kept getting closer and closer to the books I was looking at, the books that would draw any young child near, with bright colors and big pictures, who wouldn't want to pick up a book like that. Every step she took near me I would prepare to say something to her, like I would any other precious child of God that I come into contact with (remember, I am crazy baby lady!) but as quick as I would open my mouth she would dart back to the other side. Then back again and this time closer, and I knew I needed to say SOMETHING, then back again, me with my mouth half open.
I was thinking of all the things I could even say to her, things like "Hi little Princess, do you know who this man is? (point to Jesus) It's God and He loves you SO SO MUCH!" (what? a little much for a first impression?) Well anyway, next time she darted over she grabbed a book beside me and immediately took it back to her mom. "Mommy, mommy I want THIS book!"
"Well honey," she said kindly "that is not our religion. It's not what we believe in."
"But look at the pictures mommy! They're so pretty!"
"They are very pretty baby, now put the book back please."
As she came back over to put the book on the shelf, I silently started praying for her and for me, for strength to talk to this child! Why was it so hard? It's something I do with ease every other single place on the planet that I go but why here and why now was I silent? Why could I not find even a "HELLO" on the tip of my tongue? She grabbed another book and took it to her mom and said, "Mommy this is God!" "No honey, that isn't God" the mother replied.
My heart sunk. I could feel it breaking into. Sure, the picture wasn't God but yes the story is ABOUT God. And strangers! He loves you so much and has not forgotten about you in whatever you might be going through! And little girl, He is the best Daddy a girl could ever ask for! There was so much I wanted to say, so much I needed to say, so much I think God would have wanted me to say....but I froze. Placed in the midst of a spiritual battle and I chickened out. The lines of spiritual warfare were never so clear as they were in that aisle at Books A Million. And as that little girl flirted back and forth between the two worlds, were there angels and demons above us...cheering her on, or pushing her back?
We as Christians are supposed to share God and His love with all that we encounter. And I didn't do it in that store. I smiled sure, and chuckled as the little girl wondered my way, but that wasn't LOVING her like a Christian should. Love in the Christian way often times mean putting yourself outside of your comfort zone to spread the Good News to all you encounter. If I ran across that little girl 20 years from now and her life is in shambles and she doesn't even believe in God, and she really is in some messy situations-I would regret never having told her of God's love when I ran into her the first time in the aisle of a bookstore.
This is our duty. And sure, it is much easier to talk about Jesus with people who already know and love Him, but what about those who NEED to know and love Him. Why is it so hard then? Of course, human arrogance comes into play. "Well, her mom might have punched me in the face or caused a scene in the middle of the store." WELL SO WHAT!! We are supposed to be persecuted for our faith and so WHAT if we get punched in the face or someone causes a 'scene' in public!? If we were in another country we would be worshiping underground and fighting for our lives to even read the Bible and share God's love at ALL! If we were in the Bible we would be in prison or killed for doing the same things! So who cares! Why did I care? Why did I not say something?
If I sound like I am being too hard on myself, I am not. I am being just, I think. And I take this as a lesson learned. I feel for next time I will be better prepared, having a failed battle under my belt I know the war has already been won. So we'll get em next time. But I wanted to share this story because sometimes we walk away from situations like that, never ever thinking twice about them. But I will continue to think about and pray for that little girl and her family, people I may never encounter again my entire life! Sitting here thinking back, I was trying to remember if I even heard the girl's name, and I did. Several times.
Her name, is Angel.
(seriously, that is not dramatic effect. Her name really is Angel!)
In Him,
Meg
