My reflection today came while listening to a song called "Heaven" which played multiple times on many radio stations. Over the song lyrics is a young girl talking to her daddy, telling him the things she has learned over the past year that he has been gone. Asking him if he can see her in all that she's doing in her life. And telling him how much she misses him. The middle of the song is that girl, but older, telling her daddy that 5 years has passed and what all she has learned. What she is doing in her life. Asking if he can see her in all that she does. And telling him how much she misses him. And the end of the song, is the same girl, this year-10 years later since she lost her father- crying so hard, telling him how much she still misses him. She tells him how she is in high school and thinking about college, asking her dad if he thinks she could be a doctor. She asks if he can see her while she's playing during her soccer games, and then finally she tells him she knows he will be there as she walks down the aisle one day.....
And that's where I lose it. See, I know what it is like to have to think about walking down the aisle alone one day. But more so than dwelling on the sadness in that, God brought to the surface of my mind His faithfulness and presence in that situation. I am FAR from walking down any aisle, but God showed me today that when I do, the church will be FULL of "heroes" in my life, all there to essentially "give me away."
See, I have had MANY heroes in my life. Angels, who have shown up when I had nowhere to live, had no one to turn to, had no one to love me or fight for my safety, and when God just knew I needed someone to make me smile. These heroes and angels in my life have come in all shapes and sizes with the most colorful packaging any angel or hero could ever have. From women who took me in my senior year in high school when I had no where else to go. To my sister who raised me and taught me most of what I know now when our mom left. From minsters at church who insisted on inviting me and welcoming me and loving me and putting me in serving positions until I gave up and declared a church home (and am so happy I did). To the amazing family I live with now who teaches me everyday that no marriage or family is perfect, but that LOVE seriously can get you though just about anything (that and a little hard work). From my sisters, my life long and loved long best friends, who have seen me through every dark day I have ever had...including the loss of one of my heroes, my dad.
I will never forget the day of the Westside Middle School shooting. I will never forget because my sister was at the school, and I was just yards away at the elementary. That moment, like today, time stood still for our community. Agonizing cries went out over our intercom for first aid supplies and help, while we 4th graders wondered what was going on. When we were finally told, I remember going to my desk and drawing a picture of my sister (as best a 10 year old could) and prayed over it, begging God not to take my sister from me. She was all I ever had. It seemed like hours and hours and hours had passed before parents started arriving to pick children up. I don't even remember today being called down to the office, but I vividly remember that in one of the scariest moments of my life as a small child, having no clue what was going on or what was going to happen, I look up in a crowd of concerned and heartbroken parents to see my DADDY. My hero. When my mom left my dad stepped up to the plate and raised my sister and I on his own, and he became a bigger part of my life then, more than he had been up until that point. Over the years him, my sister, and I became best friends, and then on that gloomy Tuesday in March, he became my HERO. Rescuing me, like any good daddy will.
So today, while listening to this young girl read a letter to her daddy who is no longer on this earth, I was reminded to thank God for giving me a hero in my own dad. Even though he is no longer here, he saved me many times. And for that I am forever grateful and so blessed to have once called him mine.
And to the room full of people who will be there on my wedding day, I hope when the preacher asks "Who gives this bride to be wed to this man" I hope you ALL stand up, and claim me as your own. Because I am part yours. You helped raise me into the woman I am today. And without a very large portion of you there is no telling if I would even be here today at all. I don't have a daddy to walk me down the aisle, and that's hard because that will be a very long walk without one heck of a dad like I had. But I have something that comes in close second to a dad. I have more people then I could EVER imagine who have all had a hand in getting me to this point in my life. Who love me more than I will ever know. And who in a second would stand up there beside me and get me down the aisle to the poor sap waiting at the other end :) (And maybe I will just let you ALL, who knows! haha)
To those who have lost loved ones this day ten years ago, or ever really...we are all a part of a very un-fun club to be a part of. But prayers are going out for you every second by someone on this planet, those angels and heroes who are playing a part in your lives and you may not even know their name. But for those whose names you DO know....thank them...while they are still here with you, thank them for all that they have done.
To all of my heroes and angels...you know who you are....THANK YOU.
In Him,
Meg
