This Little Light of Mine....Day 2/40 Days of Prayer

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine all the time, OH YEA!! Today's devotional in my congregation's 40 Days of Prayer booklet was about this all too familiar tune, and the meaning behind it. At Southwest, we have a separate offering for children and during this time we sing a song specifically for them as they go up to the treasure chests and give their dollar and change to God. It is quite humorous at times as you see them running up with gusto and practically tackling each other to get to the small wooden box. Every now and then, one of the songs we sing is "This Little Light of Mine"-a tune that often gets sung out of habit, memory, and after-thought. But really, this simplistic melody holds a KEY for Christian living.

Inside of us all is dwelling the Spirit of God. We live our lives so that when others look at us they see the light of our Father. When we do good deeds we point all glory to our wonderful Papa. We carry this light, and shine this light, everywhere we go, in all situations, and when encountering any type of life. Or so...we SHOULD.

My favorite part of that song is towards the end. "Won't let satan (blow) it out, I'm gonna let it shine! Won't let satan (blow) it out, I'm gonna let it shine! Won't let satan (blow) it out, I'm gonna let it shine! Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine OH YEA!"

The enemy and other forces of darkness and evil are constantly trying to blow our Lights out. Sometimes we don't think about the many ways in one single day that darkness, negativity, anger, frustration, impatience, jealousy, depression, lust, temptation, gluttony, etc will creep into our minds--none of these products of the Spirit--and when they creep into our minds they eventually start controlling our actions. Think about your day today, and the many ways you could have been a Light in a dark place....did you take that opportunity? Did you get frustrated with the person in the fast food line for taking too long? Or for the girl at the window for getting your order wrong? Did you see someone broken down on the side of the road and refuse to stop because "I'm just a girl, it isn't safe for me to stop" or maybe you're a guy and your excuse was "I am running late or I would!" Did you look up into eyes of your cashier at target, to notice at all that she was having a horrible day and one smile from you could have changed that? Did you love on the kid behind you in that same line who was bugging you for your attention, or did you just ignore him because he's not your responsibility? Did you thank your mom or dad for all they do for you everyday, or did you ask to go out this weekend and complain that the dinner was too cold? Did you pick up your brother or sister or friend from school and turn on Christian music in hopes they would feel uplifted and grow closer to God or did you leave in on Lady Gaga and sing along with them to the vulgar lyrics?

In this world, every single minute of everyday, we have the chance to be the Light of Jesus to people around us who really need to see Him. Chances we might not even recognize are in actuality there ALL the time! It's a matter of, if our hearts are so completely devoted to Him are we living out the Gospel or are we saying we are a Christian yet looking from the outside like the rest of the secular world. When people look at you, brother and sister, they should WANT what you have. They might not be able to put their finger on it, but it's there. And it is our jobs to show them, hey, this is the difference you see! Let me tell you about the amazing God I serve and how much He loves YOU!

Father God,

I pray for myself, I pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ, I pray for my family and my friends, and my church God. I ask for your continued guidance in our lives. I ask for your strength God, that we may be more like you and become empowered in situations outside of our comfort zone to shine in the darkness. Thank you for ALWAYS being with us, leading us, and giving us your Spirit which we know is a Spirit of power and not of fear and timidity. Gently remind us each day how we can share your Word and love on those around us, Lord. We seek Your face everyday and want those who surround us to see Your love by the way we live our lives.

In Him,

Meg

FAMILY

My church, Southwest, is starting a campaign called "OVERFLOW"--which is going to allow for much needed freedom in our church financially as well as spiritually, encouraging our family to reach beyond the walls of our church to serve and love on those in our community! Today kicked off our 40 Days of Prayer as part of this new journey we have started together and focused on spiritual gifts.

"There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us."--1 Corinthians 12:4-6 (NLT)

The example given in our devotional is that of a basketball team, and how many people are involved in the successful running of a basketball game (the team, the cheerleaders, the coach, the refs, the janitors, the manager, the parents, the commentators, etc). Each person or group has a different gift, a different calling they are to carry out, but they all work together for one common goal.

Like a team, a church should also be a family. Sometimes there is drama--"I do not want to sing beside that Betty, she is way too out of key and is taking the amazing out of my Amazing Grace!" Sometimes there is hardship (the loss of a beloved elder, the need for a ministry we don't have funding for, disagreeing viewpoints on what should or shouldn't be preached the Sunday before Christmas.....) Sometimes there is debt--and yes, debt sucks basically, but like a family without the managing of that debt there are no funds for "vacation" (vacation being funding for new ministries, building touch ups, paying for more missionaries. building a new campus ministry student center, and so much more!) The wonderful thing about this kind of family is that we have the best Father imaginable leading us.

There are times, like with our blood family, things are not so fun. I have been experiencing some growing pangs within my church since about January of this year. It finally manifested itself into the feeling of having nowhere to belong there. Sure, I am involved in several ministries all of which I love so much and hold dearly in my heart. But there has not been anywhere really for people like me, my age, in my stage of life, to go and to fellowship with one another as well as getting super fed. We can only go out and love and feed others out of our overflow if we are over flowing...but sometimes we are just running on empty. And that is what I have felt like too much over this past year. It had gotten to the point that if I was not scheduled to sing on the praise team on Sunday mornings I just didn't want to go. Does that make sense? Like if I wasn't active on a ministry team I serve on I didn't feel comfortable enough to go and just be with my family, maybe because I still didn't feel like part of the family.

All of that changed tonight. I am not airing out my congregational dirty laundry, but instead, sharing a victory I feel my FAMILY had tonight. Learning. Growing. and Loving. So after church tonight I found out that a group of people got together on the behalf of myself and some other "singles" who felt they had nowhere else to belong, and out of the conversation got us a classroom and teachers and people to support us--all starting Sunday morning! I cried tears of joy all the way home, because this is SUCH an answered prayer and a blessing to my life as well as many others who have been floating around church looking for a place to go. This has been a long time coming, and people who love me and are passionate about this ministry stood up and fought for me.

If you know anything about my past you know I carry scars from times in my life where I was not fought for. After my mother left, my dad married an alcoholic, so lost and so manipulated by satan that it destroyed our entire family. Those who looked in from the outside never came to rescue us (my sister and I), never fought to make things better, just...let it happen. Now, I have definitely had my FAIR share of amazing angels in my life who HAVE fought on my behalf--but the wounds of those who never did, speak volumes about the way my heart is programmed today. So imagine me, feeling voiceless and worthless in my FAMILY (church) all of a sudden getting a call that changed everything...I am wanted, I am valued, I have a voice, I am LOVED! And it is so NICE!

So the devotional I read this morning about being a team and a family and celebrating our differences in order to glorify God's bigger vision for us, played out in my own life tonight. I love my family. I love my church. And I know now that even if I don't see it immediately, there are people there fighting for the good of people like me. Imagine going to a Thanksgiving dinner with your family where you felt a little awkward, a little out of place, or a bit uncomfortable....then imagine getting to go to that same dinner where you feel wanted, loved, exactly where you belong! This will be a wonderful Sunday at Southwest church for me....Thank you to all of my family who have made this happen, and thank you to those praying for this to happen.

In HIM,

Meg

The Lion King

I have been told that my blogs are like books. Well....get ready :)

Tonight, in 3D, I got to experience one of my favorite childhood movies. Yes, I am talking about The Lion King! As a child, i enjoyed the bright colors, the funny characters, and the AMAZING soundtrack (I was that elementary kid on the playground singing "I just can't wait to be King" with my friends and telling them how off-key or flat they were....which, if you know me, is not far from how I sing with friends today! haha) But now, as an adult, there are completely different things that I love about the movie-still the funny characters and the amazing soundtrack, but most importantly I LOVE how the movie mirrors our relationship with God and His love for us! Through the whole movie, I annoyingly whipped out my phone every few minutes to jot down notes for tonight's blog, so it is going to be a long one, as I go through the movie sort of explicating from it our relationship with God. I honestly, think it will be so worth it for you to read, as it was for me to listen to as God nudged my Spirit towards this new discovery. So bare with me and let's get started.

Right off the bat, I will mention "The Circle of Life" song. What is happening during this song is Simba's birth. (Now, if you are unfamiliar with the movie BLASPHEMERS then I will explain what I can, but it might get redundant for those of you very familiar with the movie) Simba is yes, you guessed it, a lion. The king? Not yet. He is the son of Mufasa-who is the actual king. So during this song, simba has been born and all of the animals in the kingdom have shown up to see him! Rafiki (crazy baboon "medicine man" figure in the animal kingdom) is like, anointing him and preparing him for his first public appearance I assume (I mean I don't really know what goes on except for what I see on Animal Planet!) At the end of the song, Rafiki takes Simba and holds him high in the air for all to see, at which point all animals bow down to one knee, honoring the new prince. This small scene, which happens the first 2 minutes of the movie, gave me chills. I kept thinking, this is what it feels like to witness all creation bowing down to the King. "Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess." It was a beautiful scene!

Simba grows up to be a young and very curious lion cub, always testing limits and asking questions-just like new Christians when growing in their faith. Mufasa takes Simba out to show him the kingdom and tells him that all of it will be his, "everything the light touches." Which not only foreshadows spiritual warfare between the two kingdoms (light and dark, good and evil) but also shows us the relationship between the King (a Father) and the prince (his son). Mufasa takes his time to teach Simba the things he is going to need to know later in life not only in order to survive, but in order to rule as future king.

Scar, the brother of Mufasa and the villain of the movie, would have inherited the throne and been the next King but Simba was born and threw a wrench into his plan. Meaning, of course in Disney fashion, he was out to kill both Mufasa and Simba in order to be king. He plants the idea to Simba of going to the elephant graveyard, a place the light most certainly does not touch, in hopes that his hyena menions will kill him. Being the curious cub that he is, he goes, placing both he and his friends who are with him in danger of being killed. But like a good and faithful father, Mufasa shows up to rescue Simba-just like our good and faithful Heavenly Father shows up without fail when we need to be rescued.

After Mufasa defeats the evil hyenas he tells the others to leave so he can then discipline his son-another vital part to Christian growth. Our Papa in Heaven gently (and not so gently) disciplines us out of love, in order to protect us from harming ourselves and destroying our lives. As Simba walks up to his father, preparing for that discipline, he steps in his dad's giant paw print. What an awesome way to not only symbolize how we are to walk in Christ's footsteps but also that they are mighty large "paws" to fill-our little paws are still learning and growing, and always going to need our Father's footsteps to follow.

During this father and son moment that we get to witness between Mufasa and Simba, we hear Mufasa tell his eager son that he is only brave when he has to be, that he doesn't go out looking for trouble. He gently reprimands his young son, correcting his behavior as a way to teach him to better his life. He then playfully reminds Simba that "nobody messes with your dad!" (which is also a wonderful way to look at God, because even when we are spiritually attacked-we should not fear, because God has already won the battle over evil for us!) As they play in the grass, and wrestle around, I was reminded of something I heard from a friend in my Life Group--about how important it is for a father and son to play in that manner, not only because it sets the son straight on who the boss of this relationship is, but also because it reminds the son that 'my dad is big and will protect me' sort of deal.

Due to Scar's manipulation (like that of the devil), Simba ended up in another dangerous situation, where he winds up in the middle of a deadly stampede. Faithfully, his father comes to his rescue again, only this time ultimately leading to Mufasa's death. Like the devil, Scar goes to Simba feeding him lies like "if it weren't for you, he would still be alive" making Simba fear going back home or reaching out to friends and family for comfort, because he blamed himself and believed others would too. With Mufasa gone, Simba could not find or hear the truth and so easily believed the lies the enemy told him. As we mature is Christians, this is a constant struggle. Keeping God and His Word close at hand and buried in our hearts so that we are living our lives on a foundation of Truth, setting apart the lies we hear from the devil.

So Simba runs away, like we all do at different stages in our lives, and essentially becomes just a big hippie. A big lion hippie who, instead of taking responsibility for his life and living out his true identity, runs away and says things like "Hakunah Matata" (meaning, "it means no worries" for all of you Lion King newbies out there.) After reuniting with his friend Nala, who challenges Simba to live out his rightful place as King, he runs away again (sound familiar? We? People? Great runners.) Then the most critical and important scene in the whole movie happens....Simba's encounter with Rafiki.

Simba is seeking and questioning, and ultimately, just LOST and he yells up to the sky "you said you'd always be there for me....but you're not!" which is about the time crazy Rafiki enters. I will do my best to sketchily transcribe their conversation, as it is the most vital part of being a Christian today, finding our identity in Christ.

Rafiki chants.

Simba Creepy monkey. Will you cut it out? Who are you?

Rafiki The question is...who....are you?

Simba I thought I knew....now I'm not so sure.

Rafiki Well I know who you are, shh, come here it's a secret. (Starts crazily chanting again)

Simba What is that supposed to mean?

Rafiki It means you are a baboon...and I am not.

Simba Uh, I think you're a little confused.

Rafiki Wrong! I am not the one who's confused, you don't even know who you are!

Simba Oh and I suppose you know.

Rafiki Sure do. You're Mufasa's boy.....BYE (runs away)

**First, let me make the connection here and unpack to you what I am thinking and meditating on this part of the scene. When asked who he is Mufasa doesn't know, because he has forgotten WHOSE he is. Until Rafiki makes the connection. He doesn't answer the question of who Simba is by saying "lion, animal, Simba, Disney character, etc" He answers by stating WHOSE Simba is, who is Father is defines who Simba is.

Simba Wait! You knew my father?

Rafiki Correction. I know your father.

Simba I hate to tell you this, but...he died. A long time ago.

Rafiki NOPE! Wrong again! He's alive! And I show him to you! You follow Rafiki he knows the way!

**PAUSE. What happens here is Simba, so desperate to see his father, trusts Rafiki and decides to follow him. The run through a thicket of thorns and branches and obstacles and darkness (often like we feel sometimes) in order to get to where they are going, which is a body of water.

Rafiki Stop! Shh...look down there (points to water)

Simba carefully and cautiously looks out over the water, hopeless as he only sees his own reflection. (**Sometimes we live our lives in a way that does not reflect who we belong to, who lives inside of us. And when faced with our own reflection, only find ourselves.)

Simba That's not my father. It's just my reflection.

Rafiki No. Look....harder.

As Rafiki touches the water, Simba's reflection turns into Mufasa's image.

Rafiki You see...he lives in YOU!

(**Sometimes it takes someone pointing out the error of our ways for us to regain focus, and see the reflection of the One whose image we were created in.)

Then from the rolling thunderous clouds, Mufasa appears in the sky.
Simba Father? (questioning, out of disbelief and possibly from detached reality in the sense of having not seen his father in so long he wonders if it is truly him)

Mufasa Simba, you have forgotten me.

Simba No! How could I?

Mufasa You have forgotten who you are, and so, forgotten me. Look inside yourself Simba, you are MORE than what you have become! (**PAUSE** Ouch, gentle reprimand from our Father? Anyone recognize this?) You must take your place in the circle of life.

Simba How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be.

Mufasa Remember who you are. You are MY son, and the one true king. Remember, who you are.

Mufasa fades away as Simba runs after the rolling clouds, begging him to stay. This section of the scene makes me teary eyed listening to it even the millionth time. When I was a teenager, learning how to drive and starting to venture out into the world on my own, everytime I would leave the house my daddy would say "Remember who you are!" I never understood it then, but oh how I understand now. He didn't just mean remember your name, or remember where you live, remember your job. He meant, remember your identity. Remember WHOSE you are. Not just his daughter, but God's daughter, a representation of Christ every time I walked out the door (although, I was not what you would call a true Christian at that age.)

Rafiki comes back into the picture

Rafiki What was THAT!? The weather. Very peculiar. Don't you think?

Simba Yea...looks like the winds are changing.

Rafiki Ah, change is good...

Simba Yea but it's not easy. I know what I have to do but going back means I'll have to face my pas. I've been running from it for so long.

**Rafiki whacks him over the head with a stick

Simba Ow! What was that for?

Rafiki It doesn't matter, it's in the past!

Simba Yea but it still hurts

Rafiki Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or...LEARN from it.

Simba then makes the decision, to 'go back.' The past definitely can hurt. But, it's when you revisit the trials of your past are you able to start learning from your mistakes. We all have things in our past we are ashamed of, but it's in those mistakes that God's glory is known. We must pray for freedom and seek healing from the situations of our past, in order to share our testimonies with others-testimonies that tell of God's love and grace and mercy and power and GLORY! That is ultimately what we seek to do as Christians in this journey of bringing the kingdom of Heaven on earth.

After Simba goes home, instead of finding his lush green alive and thriving kingdom, he finds Pride Rock to be the complete opposite-desolate, dead, evil, and dark. This mirrors what life looks like with a King...and, without our King Jesus, present. And can mirror that of Simba's life and journey as well.

As Simba's mother, Sarabi-the Queen, is called to the presence of evil (Scar-the new king), she walks through the rows of evil hyenas, hitting her, laughing, and calling her name. Yet, she hold her head up high. She is royalty. She knows who she is and knows WHOSE she is. And no one can make her feel any differently because she knows where she belongs.

After the battle between Scar and Simba, where Simba wins of course (because good will always triumph evil) Simba takes his rightful place on the "throne", as the true king, resting in the peace of his true identity. All is restored in Pride Rock as we see the appearance of animals, and grass, and flowers, and a blue sky. Alive. Thriving. Beauty.

And the movie ends, with Simba and Nala's cub being raised in front of the kingdom, announcing the new Princess and next heir to the throne, thus symbolizing our place as the sons and daughters of Christ, joining our place in the Kingdom.

I know this was a novel of a blog, and for those of you who finished I commend you. And I encourage you, to go watch this movie (not necessarily in 3D but just in general.) I am so thankful for a Father who fights on my behalf, who is constantly pursuing my heart, who sends people/angels (like crazy Rafiki) to comfort me in my time of need and sending the Holy Spirit (also a Rafiki type character) to gently nudge me back on the path I was created to follow. I am so thankful that my Father's spirit dwells deep inside of me, always with me, reminding me who I am and whose I am. What an amazing Father we have, can I get an AMEN!?

In Him,

Meg

LOST

This week was fair week in Northeast Arkansas. A week of games, rides, food, friends, singing, laughing, dancing, spinning, twirling, hurling, winning, losing, AHH! It's a teeny tiny Disney World right here in our large small town (minus the cleanliness, Princesses, castle, and well....just about everything really! Ok, ok, so it's not Disney World!) But, people young and small look forward to this week every year. I had not been to the fair since I was a young child, but since this is the last year for the fair to be on the historic fairgrounds I decided to go!

I wasn't looking forward to anything specific, really, just the experience in itself. Where I had fun riding rides and playing games and eating junk food, I could not help but notice this strange and completely foreign world I had entered into. I imagine that the Northeast Arkansas District Fair might be what hell is like.

Tonight I noticed teenage and preteen girls wearing shorts so short you could almost see, well....things not only I didn't want to see, but things I did not want the 10 and 12 year old boys I was with to see either. Those same, and even different, short wearing girls covered in eye makeup so thick you'd think they were in some sort of theatrical production. As I stood in line for the Predator, I caught conversation from the group of very young teenagers in front of me who continuously used the F word, D word, S word, and any other word you can imagine! I thought to myself "what in the world do these kids parents' think about this sort of behavior" and no sooner had I thought that, I got my answer. One of their mothers walked over to her daughter and started the conversation normally, yet ending it with "and you better answer your d*m* phone when I text you." Oh! Their parents won't care......they're the ones who TAUGHT them that behavior in the first place! As I was walking past the lemonade stand, between the games and the carousel I caught site of a no more than 10 year old little boy.....SMOKING A CIGARETTE! I was APPALLED. My heart broke almost around every single corner I turned tonight. I felt like a raft floating on a sea of lost, LOST people...sinking in their own demise, so far down that some of them might not have seen me at all!

I don't know much about hell, but tonight, on those fairgrounds, I was certain those people were living in it. Not because they are damned to hell, I am not saying that at all. But to me, hell is the absence of God. Being separated by our loving Father, our Savior, and the Creator of our hearts is hell....the absolute heartbreak of it in itself is hell. And by the way most of the people I saw tonight behaved, it seems they are living in that heartbreak every single day. It hurts my soul to even think about it.

Now, I know that the majority of people who read my blogs are Christians....so this would probably be a useless place to rant about all of the things I want to rant about: like broken children coming from brokenness, the results a parents behavior has on a kids life, teenage girls and the gabillion topics I could go into there....but I will refrain. Because instead, it seems like we should come together as a community of Christians and ask "What can we do to help this situation?"

If we as Christians are told to bring the kingdom of Heaven on earth then the NEA Fair has been a huge flashing neon sign of how we are FAILING at our task. So what do we do? Well, I struck up a conversation with an 8 year old girl while waiting in line for the Cliff Hanger ride who inspired me some to help answer that question for my own life. The Cliff Hanger is a ride where you "hang glide" in the air. 3 people can fit on one hang glider but on ours (mine and the little girl-her name was Kiera) it was just the two of us. All through the line I felt a sense of protectiveness over this young child, who was a complete stranger to me, yet she was all alone, just like I was, in line. So when we went to get on the ride, instead of opting to "fly" with the two people I was there with (who joined me in line later) I chose to ride with Kiera. She had ridden it several times already and was giving me all the ins and outs. Including, when I went to lay down on the glider we were directed to go to....and she said "You should lay on that side" (she was in the middle) "Oh?" I said. "How come?" "Because if you lay on the inside and it's just the two of us then I will go too high.

She confidently told me how to protect her on that ride. And children will go to extreme lengths to all but beg for our protection. Think about it....most of the "rebellious" things kids do is all for a reason, a deeper purpose. Up into adulthood, we have set behaviors that come out of needing something. When a baby cries it needs food or a diaper change. When toddlers throw fits they need a nap or some attention. When teenagers disobey and break rules they are searching for boundaries, needing love through discipline. And the list goes on and on. I felt the need to protect Kiera, as with every single broken, lonely, and LOST child I encountered this weekend at the fair.

And the same goes for adults to. Where some of them I wanted to punch in the face (the ones smoking around small children, cussing at their teenage daughters, or the unpresent ones who owned the smoking cussing CHILDREN), others, I also wanted to protect. To hold. To love on. As Christians, I feel it is just our duty to do that. And where it might be awkward or weird or out of our comfort zone, they are depending on us don't you think?

What things are you doing in your daily life to ensure bringing the kingdom of Heaven on earth? What are things you can do in the relationships around you to love on people who are broken and so lost, living in a desolate hell far away from the heart of God and life that He wants for them? These are definitely things I will be thinking about in my own life.....

In Him,

Meg

The Essence of McDonald's

Don't you just love how GOOD and how FAITHFUL our Heavenly Father is? Sometimes, when I am not even thinking about a particular issue or question, he swoops in to answer it or clarify regardless. That happened to me this morning, while I was doing my devotional. But first, let me back up and tell you about the essence of McDonald's.

Over the course of my life, even before having become a Christian, I have felt subtle stirrings inside of my spirit. These stirrings would often leave me anxious, antsy, waiting, looking. Anxious about the future, antsy about the present, waiting for what's to come, and looking around every corner and under every rock for that "next step." What was I waiting and looking for you ask? I have never really had any idea! (Until today.) I just settled for knowing those feelings would pop up every so often, and faithfully, they have. Throughout almost my entire life.

I have specifically felt those stirrings within me, this year. I tried to describe this feeling to Mark and Anna, the wonderful people I live with, saying "It's like this. You are not even hungry, maybe you are, doesn't really matter, and you think, maybe I will make some veggies or salad when I get home later. Not really that much on your mind or urgent To DO list. But THEN, you drive by McDonald's and you SMELL McDonald's food. It stirs something inside of you that ten minutes ago wasn't even thinking about McDonald's. You drive down the road and you STILL want McDonald's. It's the essence of McDonald's lingering around your nose and taunting your taste buds with the memory of those hot french fries and yummy big mac. Sometimes you give in, turn around, and get you some of that yummyness! But more often than not, you keep driving. And eventually....the essence of McDonald's fades until you no longer even remember that you wanted it."

What a wacky way to try and describe those anxious moments in our lives where we feel in our spirit that there is something MORE out there. Sometimes, like with McDonald's, we can satisfy that urge. Spiritually maybe it is reading more in the word, adding another ministry to volunteer/work for, worshiping in the car, etc etc. But sometimes, it is (for lack of a better phrase) that itch we just can't seem to scratch! So what did God show me today? you might be wondering.... The reason (and a MUCH better way to describe it than the essence of McDonald's) found in Romans 8:20-25ish.

"Everything in creation is more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only AROUND us, it's WITHIN us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within, We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy." (The Message)

WOW! Now I get it! The reason we feel those urges and stirrings and anxiousness and antsy feelings is because we, like the rest of creation, are experiencing a type of labor pang. Mother's experience it while waiting the long 9months for a child to arrive. But then once the infant is here, it is pure joy! In life, we as Christians, should I believe, experience those same pangs (I know I do!) in order to be reminded not only that more awaits us, but to get excited at the joy of being reunited with our Heavenly Father!

This devotional and word of scripture could not have come at a better time in my life, literally down to the very morning I opened it, because just last night I was chatting with a young girl who has found herself in a very frustrated state of her life, unsure of where to go and what to do and desperately seeking a sign on which way to go in her life. I was that girl the past year. I experience the "labor pangs" spiritually as well as physically in my everyday life, knowing there was something more or different I was supposed to be doing but wasn't doing it. It was when I tapped into recognizing the voice of God from the voice of the world when all of that started to change for me. I became less obsessed with "figuring it all out" and more in tune with growing deeper and more intimate in Christ. And after a long agonizing year of praying about my calling, begging God to show me something in my life, seeking mentors to tell me why I am here, what I am to do.....I subtly stopped worrying about it, and started enjoying life more. Creating the avenue for myself to do the things God has gifted me in. I started trying to become the best version of myself for all relationships I was a part of. I really sought more to understand who God is so I could then understand His will for me.

And one day, driving down the road listening to talk radio, without a care in the world, I heard "You will be a wife and mother" WHAT? God, is that-and no sooner could I finish my thought in my own head, I was wrapped in a peace like I had never felt before. You see, I stopped obsessing about the things I need not worry about, and started focusing on the things that were important. You know how when you are single (which I am) and all of the married or settled women in your life try and be encouraging by saying "when you stop looking for your husband he will drop in your lap when you least expect it" (Well, I don't know if that is true of husbands because trust me I have done my fair share of waiting for one to drop in my lap!) But I DO think it is true spiritually. Because when I least expected it, yet in God's perfect timing, He assured me of what I was called to do. And sure, there are tons of things I am talented in and passionate about. But I know out of all of those I am to get right the being a wife and mother part :)

Back to the essence of McDonald's. If you as a Christian are experiencing that arousing feeling in your spirit where something more is out there and you are wanting a taste of that, as frustrating sometimes as it can be and as antsy as it makes your spirit, I am convinced that that is a GREAT thing for believers to feel. There is MUCH joy to come at the end of this life when we meet God face to face. And those labor pangs are reminding us that we, like all of creation, are waiting for that moment when God holds us in His arms and the waiting is over and replaced with pure JOY!

In Him,

Meg

Sharing God's Love

I love babies. I love kids. Babies, babies, babies! Kids, kids, kids! Those of you who know me are probably laughing and nodding your head in agreement as you read this. I am the crazy lady in Wal Mart who comes up to you and your infant child, and starts up a conversation....with the infant. I am that girl in line at Starbucks asking your 5 year old daughter about her favorite Disney Princess (and then preceding to tell her all about mine too, of course!) I am definitely that weirdo in church, making silly faces at your baby in the middle of the sermon, blowing on her belly making her laugh during the prayer, and patty caking with her in one hand while drinking communion with the other! I AM THAT GIRL. I claim it and know it's true. (This has a point, soon, just trust me.)

So, the other day I heard that Books A Million was closing. Beyond being the girl that talks to and plays with your kid in random places, I am also the girl who technology has certainly passed. I LOVE a good book. A flip the pages, smell the printed ink, underline words, draw in the margins, dog eared, raggedy old BOOK! I love books. And I LOVE book stores. I want to walk into a book store and see books, not kindles, not nooks, not COMPUTERS that I can't love on and smell and carelessly toss in my purse, and display on a shelf. Hello, my name is Meagan (Hi Meagan) and I am addicted to BOOKS. That rant has nothing to do with this blog except for the fact that I was in Books A Million the other day, very heartbroken that they lost the battle to technology while still taking complete advantage of their going out of business sale!

I was doing some early Christmas and birthday shopping and ended up in a section of Christian books which, coincidentally was located in the same aisle as the New Age material. I found this very odd as I entered into it. To my right was tarot readings, ghost hunting, spirit guides, horoscopes, astral projection, and the list goes on and on. And to my left was devotionals for teenagers, Bibles dedicated to helping kids learn who Jesus really is, picture books for small children telling stories about Jonah and Moses and Adam and Eve, and the list goes on and on. I was looking at the children's books, for no particular reason really except that when I got there I thought "I am not sure why I ended up over here but maybe there is a hidden Christmas present in here for say my little sisters, or cousin, or whoever." And not minutes later, I was joined in the aisle by a mother and her very young daughter.

Except, they were looking on the "OTHER SIDE" of the aisle (said in a dark and creepy way of course as I chuckle out loud at my own humor). I could not see (without having rudely turned around and stared her down) what book the mother had picked up, but I intently listened to their conversation as we mingled in this very small, convenient world. The mother was very nice to her daughter, said kind things to her. And the daughter ADORED her mommy. She said things like "Mommy I just love you so much!" and "Mommy will I be just like you when I grow up?" "Mommy, I want to be JUST like you!" She kept hugging and kissing her mommy and where part of me was so happy to see such a beautiful relationship, the other part of me was sad.

The young girl kept bouncing between the two sides of the aisle, as if bouncing on an invisible line between Heaven and hell, Salvation and waste, Light and dark....(On a side note, do NOT hear me saying that this little girl is going to hell because her mom had her in the new age aisle. Clearly I am whipping out what little writing skills I have to attempt to prove a point very metaphorically.) She kept getting closer and closer to the books I was looking at, the books that would draw any young child near, with bright colors and big pictures, who wouldn't want to pick up a book like that. Every step she took near me I would prepare to say something to her, like I would any other precious child of God that I come into contact with (remember, I am crazy baby lady!) but as quick as I would open my mouth she would dart back to the other side. Then back again and this time closer, and I knew I needed to say SOMETHING, then back again, me with my mouth half open.

I was thinking of all the things I could even say to her, things like "Hi little Princess, do you know who this man is? (point to Jesus) It's God and He loves you SO SO MUCH!" (what? a little much for a first impression?) Well anyway, next time she darted over she grabbed a book beside me and immediately took it back to her mom. "Mommy, mommy I want THIS book!"

"Well honey," she said kindly "that is not our religion. It's not what we believe in."

"But look at the pictures mommy! They're so pretty!"

"They are very pretty baby, now put the book back please."

As she came back over to put the book on the shelf, I silently started praying for her and for me, for strength to talk to this child! Why was it so hard? It's something I do with ease every other single place on the planet that I go but why here and why now was I silent? Why could I not find even a "HELLO" on the tip of my tongue? She grabbed another book and took it to her mom and said, "Mommy this is God!" "No honey, that isn't God" the mother replied.

My heart sunk. I could feel it breaking into. Sure, the picture wasn't God but yes the story is ABOUT God. And strangers! He loves you so much and has not forgotten about you in whatever you might be going through! And little girl, He is the best Daddy a girl could ever ask for! There was so much I wanted to say, so much I needed to say, so much I think God would have wanted me to say....but I froze. Placed in the midst of a spiritual battle and I chickened out. The lines of spiritual warfare were never so clear as they were in that aisle at Books A Million. And as that little girl flirted back and forth between the two worlds, were there angels and demons above us...cheering her on, or pushing her back?

We as Christians are supposed to share God and His love with all that we encounter. And I didn't do it in that store. I smiled sure, and chuckled as the little girl wondered my way, but that wasn't LOVING her like a Christian should. Love in the Christian way often times mean putting yourself outside of your comfort zone to spread the Good News to all you encounter. If I ran across that little girl 20 years from now and her life is in shambles and she doesn't even believe in God, and she really is in some messy situations-I would regret never having told her of God's love when I ran into her the first time in the aisle of a bookstore.

This is our duty. And sure, it is much easier to talk about Jesus with people who already know and love Him, but what about those who NEED to know and love Him. Why is it so hard then? Of course, human arrogance comes into play. "Well, her mom might have punched me in the face or caused a scene in the middle of the store." WELL SO WHAT!! We are supposed to be persecuted for our faith and so WHAT if we get punched in the face or someone causes a 'scene' in public!? If we were in another country we would be worshiping underground and fighting for our lives to even read the Bible and share God's love at ALL! If we were in the Bible we would be in prison or killed for doing the same things! So who cares! Why did I care? Why did I not say something?

If I sound like I am being too hard on myself, I am not. I am being just, I think. And I take this as a lesson learned. I feel for next time I will be better prepared, having a failed battle under my belt I know the war has already been won. So we'll get em next time. But I wanted to share this story because sometimes we walk away from situations like that, never ever thinking twice about them. But I will continue to think about and pray for that little girl and her family, people I may never encounter again my entire life! Sitting here thinking back, I was trying to remember if I even heard the girl's name, and I did. Several times.

Her name, is Angel.

(seriously, that is not dramatic effect. Her name really is Angel!)

In Him,

Meg

Full Moon Brings out the Craziness!

Papa....

I come to you humbly seeking truth. I feel persecuted for my faith and for the decision I have made to not only "follow" You in theory but to genuinely and actively follow You. I make the decision everyday to seek Your face and everyday You show it to me, guiding me and teaching me in new ways constantly. Where some may say I am "immature in faith" I know the Truth, and that Truth is that I have intimately grown closer to You and more in love with You than most "Christians" ever will-and for that I pray. I pray thanks, for revealing Yourself to me when I ask and for rescuing me when I call. And I pray for them, pray that You break their heart dear Lord to what is TRUE and what is of YOU. Guard them from the lies and the drama of the enemy, God-for we know that he will go to all necessary measures to ensure the breaking of a family and the breaking of relationships. I pray for protection over them God as they willingly choose to listen to and believe the lies of the enemy. I pray for strength for us all as we combat the evil one and his deceit. May we all as Christians recognize the difference in following our feelings versus following our faith and see that often times when we think we are following faith it is in turn our emotions, emotions which are unguarded to the devil who uses our fleshly nature to trick us and manipulate us into turning against what we KNOW is right. God this gossip and drama and back stabbing and manipulation is not only ruining our families but ruining our churches and I pray for those groups of people as well. I lift them up to You my God and ask for Peace, for any and all who might be involved in the splitting up of a church or who has ever been a part of the splitting up of a church. I have seen the product of this in an ugly and unholy way God and I beg for protection over those who are victims in any wrong-doing and I beg for the eyes and hearts and minds of those in charge of the wrong-doing to be opened. Let them see that when we attack other Christians we are ultimately attacking You. I heard a statistic tonight that 80 percent of Americans call themselves "Christians" and Lord, for the oh 50 plus percent of those claiming that right as truth I beg that you break their hearts. Break their hearts Papa so they see that being a Christian goes above and beyond owning a Bible or attending church. It should reach far beyond the boarder of our churches and far beyond the boarder of our homes. Being a Christian is constantly seeking Truth and looking for ways to bring the kingdom of Heaven on earth. It isn't getting baptized as a transaction so you won't go to hell-it is knowing that you are saved by the blood of the most precious Lamb and recognizing what that truly means. And God I want that so bad for those who don't know it or don't see it. I want that so badly for those who claim it but aren't living it. This world is hard enough as it is, but to turn around and be crucified by those who are supposed to love you is not fun. Tonight I was called a liar, over something I did not lie about. And it hurt very, very badly. All we have and leave in this world is our name, and when our name is tainted by lies and false accusations....it sucks. God I cry out to You now, like I have all night, and ask you to reveal the TRUTH in not only my situation but in situations like mine that are happening all over the world right now. You have already won this battle, the battle of good and evil, for us, so I ask You tonight as my Prince and as the Rescuer of my soul, please show up for me and fight tonight. Send Your heavenly armies to protect those being manipulated by evil and FIGHT. I love you so much God, and am beyond thankful for Your mercy which is new every single morning I wake up. I am so thankful for Your love, which is unlike any other Love I have EVER known. And I am thankful for your FAITHFULNESS. I know that You hear my prayer and will respond. Please forgive me for where I have failed You, and thank you for revealing to me constantly where I fall short in Your sight. It's hard sometimes to get reprimanded but without discipline there is no learning, and without learning there is nothing but a world full of broken angry sinners repeating the same mistakes over and over again. I love you so much Papa and it's in Your Precious Son's name that I pray

AMEN

Hero

Today is September 11, 2011....exactly ten years after our nation was brutally attacked by terrorists, killing almost 3,000 people. Fathers, wives, daughters, husbands, grandmothers, brothers, sisters, sons, grandfathers, cousins, aunts, uncles, gone....forever. This day has brought reflection for many. Sympathy for those who are still grieving the loss of loved ones. Praise for those who survived. And compassion as the world relives the moment in our history when time stood still.

My reflection today came while listening to a song called "Heaven" which played multiple times on many radio stations. Over the song lyrics is a young girl talking to her daddy, telling him the things she has learned over the past year that he has been gone. Asking him if he can see her in all that she's doing in her life. And telling him how much she misses him. The middle of the song is that girl, but older, telling her daddy that 5 years has passed and what all she has learned. What she is doing in her life. Asking if he can see her in all that she does. And telling him how much she misses him. And the end of the song, is the same girl, this year-10 years later since she lost her father- crying so hard, telling him how much she still misses him. She tells him how she is in high school and thinking about college, asking her dad if he thinks she could be a doctor. She asks if he can see her while she's playing during her soccer games, and then finally she tells him she knows he will be there as she walks down the aisle one day.....

And that's where I lose it. See, I know what it is like to have to think about walking down the aisle alone one day. But more so than dwelling on the sadness in that, God brought to the surface of my mind His faithfulness and presence in that situation. I am FAR from walking down any aisle, but God showed me today that when I do, the church will be FULL of "heroes" in my life, all there to essentially "give me away."

See, I have had MANY heroes in my life. Angels, who have shown up when I had nowhere to live, had no one to turn to, had no one to love me or fight for my safety, and when God just knew I needed someone to make me smile. These heroes and angels in my life have come in all shapes and sizes with the most colorful packaging any angel or hero could ever have. From women who took me in my senior year in high school when I had no where else to go. To my sister who raised me and taught me most of what I know now when our mom left. From minsters at church who insisted on inviting me and welcoming me and loving me and putting me in serving positions until I gave up and declared a church home (and am so happy I did). To the amazing family I live with now who teaches me everyday that no marriage or family is perfect, but that LOVE seriously can get you though just about anything (that and a little hard work). From my sisters, my life long and loved long best friends, who have seen me through every dark day I have ever had...including the loss of one of my heroes, my dad.

I will never forget the day of the Westside Middle School shooting. I will never forget because my sister was at the school, and I was just yards away at the elementary. That moment, like today, time stood still for our community. Agonizing cries went out over our intercom for first aid supplies and help, while we 4th graders wondered what was going on. When we were finally told, I remember going to my desk and drawing a picture of my sister (as best a 10 year old could) and prayed over it, begging God not to take my sister from me. She was all I ever had. It seemed like hours and hours and hours had passed before parents started arriving to pick children up. I don't even remember today being called down to the office, but I vividly remember that in one of the scariest moments of my life as a small child, having no clue what was going on or what was going to happen, I look up in a crowd of concerned and heartbroken parents to see my DADDY. My hero. When my mom left my dad stepped up to the plate and raised my sister and I on his own, and he became a bigger part of my life then, more than he had been up until that point. Over the years him, my sister, and I became best friends, and then on that gloomy Tuesday in March, he became my HERO. Rescuing me, like any good daddy will.

So today, while listening to this young girl read a letter to her daddy who is no longer on this earth, I was reminded to thank God for giving me a hero in my own dad. Even though he is no longer here, he saved me many times. And for that I am forever grateful and so blessed to have once called him mine.

And to the room full of people who will be there on my wedding day, I hope when the preacher asks "Who gives this bride to be wed to this man" I hope you ALL stand up, and claim me as your own. Because I am part yours. You helped raise me into the woman I am today. And without a very large portion of you there is no telling if I would even be here today at all. I don't have a daddy to walk me down the aisle, and that's hard because that will be a very long walk without one heck of a dad like I had. But I have something that comes in close second to a dad. I have more people then I could EVER imagine who have all had a hand in getting me to this point in my life. Who love me more than I will ever know. And who in a second would stand up there beside me and get me down the aisle to the poor sap waiting at the other end :) (And maybe I will just let you ALL, who knows! haha)

To those who have lost loved ones this day ten years ago, or ever really...we are all a part of a very un-fun club to be a part of. But prayers are going out for you every second by someone on this planet, those angels and heroes who are playing a part in your lives and you may not even know their name. But for those whose names you DO know....thank them...while they are still here with you, thank them for all that they have done.

To all of my heroes and angels...you know who you are....THANK YOU.

In Him,

Meg