You Love for me to sing to You...

I am sitting near a large window upstairs looking out at the moving clouds, the darkening sky, the wind blowing through the trees....I am listening to Kari Jobe and was reading in Psalms when it hit me...wow, God is so good and all creation sings His praise. The trees are pointed high toward the sky as the wind tosses them back and forth, back and forth-yet they keep reaching high toward their Creator. The wind sings a lullaby as it rushes past the window, and I know that song so well. It's the song of freedom and worship for the One who deserves all praise. The darkening clouds are dancing in the background and I am reminded of my friends Grace and Annie, two of the most pure-hearted godly women I have ever met and how watching them dance is like watching Jesus wrap them in His arms and twirl them around a grand ballroom. Nature worships our Creator in  song and in dance and in stature-with no hesitation. They were created for worship and that's what they do.

We were created for that too. Sometimes it is hard. Life gets busier and busier as we get older and soon our days are filled with shuttling kids, teaching, cooking, cleaning, work, work, work, and more work, caching up on our TV shows, visiting friends and family, fitting hobbies somewhere in the mix...and by the end of the day we realize we have forgotten to worship. We've forgotten to even communicate at all with our Father. If you have loving parents whom you talk to often, imagine how they might feel knowing you are too busy to fit them into your lives. Or if you are a parent yourself what if when your son or daughter moved off to college or to do missions, they never contacted you? That would hurt your heart. Just like I am sure it does God.

My big fat excuse lately has been: busy. Busy turned into tired. Tired turned into lazy. Lazy turned into...I don't know the word for it. But I am pretty sure lately I have been irritated at God for not allowing me to feel Him near. When most certainly He hasn't moved, but that I am putting in very little effort to feel Him. To know His voice. To walk with Him. I've been "busy"....Busy even, with A LOT that has to do with Him...however, it has killed my intimate time with God. Some days it comes so natural to wake up and talk with Him, to dive into the word, to worship and praise all day. Other days I have to force myself to do it and then I feel bad that I have such a bad attitude and then I feel guilty. Then I have no energy to play with all of those emotions so I end up making that conscious decision to just not do it at all. To not be near to Him. Then I wake up weeks later and am beyond frustrated and irritated that my relationship with Him as somehow gotten off balance and I "don't know why"....well, I know why.

Watching the world from a large window upstairs will make a girl think. I love God, so so much. More than I can put into words. I don't want anything to distract from my relationship with Him. I constantly want to be dancing with Him. I want to feel His arms around me everyday. I want to sing His praises from every nook and cranny on the whole planet. I want to lift my hands high in worship to Him. I want to fall on my face in worship because how can you NOT be on your face in the presence of the Lord Almighty? I want more of this relationship. I am going to seek until I find Him. Until I hear Him. Until I feel like I am back in His arms once more.

Thank you wind. Thank you trees. Thank you clouds. Thank you Kari Jobe. Thank you Jesus, for giving me these things and showing me this morning that you are never giving up on me and that you will forever pursue my heart!! :)

In Him,
Meg

So we don't murder people....

Being a 'Christian' is more than just saying you believe in God. Those who worship the devil, also believe there is a god. 

Being a 'Christian' means more than simply not murdering people...for I know many a people who are not Christians who choose not to murder one another. 

Being a 'Christian' means you are a follower of Christ. You build an intimate relationship with Him. You learn the characteristics of our Lord and learn to hear His voice. You acknowledge the Holy Spirit and bear fruit of a person who is daily learning, growing, and transforming to look more like that of our Creator.

So you've never murdered someone. BIG. DEAL.So you don't cuss much or drink much. Maybe you went to church when you were younger and believe still in the God you grew up hearing about. Maybe on Easter and Christmas you visit a local congregation with your parents. Does that make you a Christian? --No more then slapping on a red robe and sitting on top of a reindeer ones a year makes me Santa Clause!

Your life is missing something and you know that you are less because it's not there. You don't know what it is and every now and then you feel compelled to look for it. But what finds you instead is the porn you are addicted to, the sex with your boyfriend, the bottom of a bottle, Facebook, shopping....and about a million other things that the enemy uses to get in the way of you crawling back in Papa's lap and letting Him read you a different story.

So when you say you are a "Christian"...do you mean it?

In Him,

Meg

Have a Little Faith in Me...

Expectations. They are an invisible, yet weighty standardsof how one should live, or act, play, entertain, love and so much more. There are expectations everywhere you look. Your parents expect you to make good grades, your friends expect you to go to this party with them, your church expects you to attend every time the doors are open, your younger siblings expect you to be a good example, your boss expects you to be on time, your dog expects to be fed and pet throughout the day, your teacher expects you to turn in your homework, and....well, really...need I say more? Expectations are everywhere in today's culture. Some are probably good to live up to or aspire to (like the being on time for work or the feeding of your family sort of deal) but there are many others that are simply implied because of the culture that we live in. Jesus distinctly says that those who live OF the world can not inherit the kingdom of Heaven.

Here is an example (because if you know me you know I love ranting about MTV). First of all I think MTV is run by the devil himself. Now, I do not know the actual human that runs this network, however, it only takes a Christian one show of watching really to understand why I believe this. Take the show Jersey Shore for example. It's apparently one of the most popular shows on television right now. I have never watched a full episode, but have seen clips, commercials, and a piece here or there and I am telling you what-that show disgusts me almost more than anything else on this planet. Watching it literally makes my heart ache with how God must feel while watching the lives of these young people. Somehow though, everyone and their brother, is obsessed with watching this train wreck. Even 'Christians' I know talk about how they enjoy this show. IT IS TRASH. And it is polluting your heart with TRASH as well. 

My point in that rant however is not to point fingers at MTV for our screwed up culture. But to implement how we as radical Christ followers, are told to not be subject to our culture. 

Mark 5 tells the story of a woman who had a bleeding disorder for 12 years. Can you imagine being sick with no healing in sight, for TWELVE years? In HER culture, those who were sick like that were not allowed to live inside the city gates for she was deemed 'unclean'. But this woman heard Jesus was coming and she knew that He could heal her. But what did it require of her? It required her pushing past her culture. On a physical level she had to come into the city and push through the crowds of people to receive healing from the Lord. But on spiritual level she was going against what her culture said in that time and following the faith that she knew the Lord could heal her. She was DESPERATE for His healing and would do whatever it took. She had so much faith in fact that she merely had to touch the hem of his robe before her body was healed. 

Jesus asked "who touched me?" and his disciples were like Yo JC you're in a crowd of people, there are A LOT of people touching you. But he tells them that somebody touched Him who had such strong faith He could literally feel the power of God move in His body. 

This sick woman healed by Jesus was not defined by her culture. And when it looked like there was no end in sight to her sickness and pain and alienation she PRESSED IN to the goodness of the Lord.

I blogged last about feeling out of focus and having a rough time, spiritually wondering why I couldn't feel God near and what was missing from my life. This story really encouraged me to really PRESS IN. I know He is there, His goodness and faithfulness and healing power-and I am desperate for Him. I will not be defined by my culture....even my culture of other 'Christians' around me. I can not live off of ABC gum (you know the gum, already been chewed?) haha  In our culture we are so quick to live our faith off of words from other people-it's almost like getting sloppy seconds. When John 10:27 says "My sheep listen to my voice, I know them and they me, and they follow me."

How can we choose the voice of God over the voice of our culture if we don't know what we are listening for? "To know a voice we have to listen to it more than once"--Kari Jobe

We can't be too lazy or scared or impatient to go deep with God on our own. We live in a culture of people who watch and re-enact Jersey Shore. But we also live in a culture of Christians who are satisfied with their only time of worship being on Sunday mornings. Who are ok with their only time of being refueled is at church or a retreat of some kind. We serve a God whose power and majesty dwell within us and it is a DANGEROUS place to live if Sunday morning church is our only place of revelation from Him.

Press in. Go deep. Listen for Him. I know it sounds like mumbo jumbo Christian lingo but it's not. It's God's Truth. He gives us His firsts, doesn't He deserve ours?

In Him,

Meg

Out of Focus

Do you ever feel like something is just...off? It's hard to pinpoint but somehow you feel off balance, or out of sync with your body, or maybe you are having moments where your brain is taking longer than normal to pick up on certain things. There are many ways to feel "off" I guess.

Yesterday was an off day for me. My entire day felt both physically and spiritually out of focus. Through my regular human eyes, every image felt out of focus. I was having a super hard time seeing things clearly. No matter how hard I would squint or unsquint or rub or move or blink, I could not get things to focus clearly yesterday. It honestly felt like I had my contacts in the wrong eyes all day long (and knowing me that is definitely a possibility! haha) But this out of focus blurry and annoying feeling in my eye was relating to how I also felt spiritually. And for days now.

I think the eye issue was as annoying as it was because I already felt out of sync with God and disconnected from Him. So now, I was feeling that way spiritually and then truly feeling hindered in my ability to focus because of my jacked up eyeballs. Needless to say I felt frustrated and annoyed all day long. I had a ton to do and couldn't seem to do any of it with the kind of heart I know God wishes I would have had yesterday. Some of my plans I even cancelled because of this focusing and irritating issue.

The simple part about yesterday was that there was a solution to the problem with my regular eyes. One of my contacts really was messed up (and both probably overdo for the garbage can). Once out of my eyes and in the trash I slipped on my glasses and felt just fine. The not so simple part about yesterday or the days before is that I don't know if there is that simple of a fix for feeling out of focus with God. I have talked to many a people, most of whom confirmed having felt the same way or feeling the same way now. Where that was refreshing in a sense (to know I am not alone), it also left me feeling just as hopeless because there is no quick fix.

My constant human silly issue (among the MANY that I have) is I like to fix things. When there is a problem, I like to find out why and then fix it. I go into fix it mode with people and friends and situations and myself all the time. So I can't wrap my baby brain around the fact that maybe sometimes there is not a problem. Maybe there is and there is no solution. I know God will never leave me, never forsake me. So all day I kept beating myself up about the things in my life I am doing to keep from feeling Him as near as I did say just a few weeks ago. In the best way I know how to sum up what my little spirit is feeling it would be worn out. I know this sounds AWFUL but yesterday even praying out loud required too much energy. All I really wanted to do was cry, and curl up in God's lap to sleep and find peace in the rest I know only He can provide.

I am not sure if there is a solution. I am not sure if there is even a problem. I do know that Jesus himself said we can not stay at the top of the mountain forever. So maybe I am walking off the mountain and into a new season of my life. What I do know is regardless where I go, He is there. In fact, (I hope), He is leading me wherever I am going.

Maybe you are in the same boat I am or have been there before. If neither are true then be prepared as a devout and radical follower of Jesus, rest assured you will not always be at the top of a mountain (and consider it a blessing when you're experiencing the lows too!). Here is what I have done today--
I gave myself a time out. I had work to get done of course, but I let my brain rest as much as it could. I listened to worship music every chance that I got. And i rejoiced in the moments where I had energy enough to do so.

This song was on replay almost the entire afternoon. I hope it finds you where you need to be found and loved on today. What Love Is This? Kari Jobe

In Him,
Meg

The Very Best Teacher

My life, my mentality, and my schedule pretty much revolve around those fun-sized humans we like to call, children. When I think about what a normal weekly schedule looks like for me, it is amazing how much children is a part of that. As a teacher, your brain shifts to brand new ways of thinking. Every thing becomes a teachable moment, a lesson to learn, or a tool to remember. What I love about this mentality, is that it so often makes the lessons God is trying to teach me, more obvious. I start thinking like God as a teacher and realize then that He is constantly using every moment of my life to teach me something or to help me grow.

I live with a family of 2 adults and 4 kiddos. (I say "a" family but I feel like they are just as much my own as the one I was born into.) The kids range in age from 13 down to 1 year. It isn't often through my own hectic schedule that I get a lot of one on one time with the kids, but recently I got some with Sam-the 4 year old. Sam has a HUGE imagination and LOVES to play. It's typical to be in the kitchen or living room and hear low mumbles and voices coming from a nearby area-and it's Sam, playing alone with his toys lost in a wonderful and magical world he's created. It never fails to make me giggle.

To be invited into this world is an honor, as well as challenging. The whole, fake it til you make it, strategy does not always work with small children because they can spot a fake a mile away. Well, this particular day I had a lot of energy, some free time, and my imagination was in just the right place to take on Sam's world for a while. We started play time having simple conversations back and forth from the dinosaur he was holding to the plush jack-o-lantern that I was holding. That simple dialogue led to Jack-O-Lantern arresting Gorilla and throwing him in jail because he was eating his friends. So of course Gorilla needed a lawyer to help him out of his bind, which is how Dinosaur got involved. It was so funny where his imagination would lead (and comical that my 24 year old body with the imagination of a 4 year old was just as much into it of not more than Sam was!)

After play time we decided to clean up. It took some coaxing, but we made clean up a game so it would be much more fun! While cleaning up we had a "Dino Hunt"--not with Dinosaur being hunted but instead, doing the hunting. I gave Sam and Dino the specifications of an object, and they had to look for it. We started off simple with just color.

Bring me something green.

Bring me something blue.

Bring me something that is red and black.

Then we got a little more challenging and added size.

Bring me something small.

Bring me something medium.

Bring me something large.

Then we added the 2.

Bring me something red and small.

Bring me something medium and green.

Bring me something big and brown.

After color and size, we moved on to shapes. 

Bring me something square.
Bring me something shaped like a circle.

After color, size, and shape got old we moved on to objects that would make Sam have to think a little before instantly reacting.

Bring me something you would wear outside.

Bring me something you might make a tent out of.

Bring me something that you can dig with.

Bring me something that doesn't belong to you.

This game went over so well, and Sam learned while he was having fun. It isn't always though that I can get his attention to play a learning type of game. And the more I thought about it while playing with him, the more I realized that is probably how God feels about me. There are so many things in this world that distract us....and just when it seems like we've conquered one, another pops up.

I feel the most loved by God when I see the lessons He is trying to teach me. Because in those moments I know that I am present with Him and growing the way He designed me to. And just like with Sam, I know I am getting attention and loved on-even if being taught something at the same time. But there are moments in my life, and often because I am so busy and my schedule is ever-changing, that I feel like a 4 year old. Like I  am running around in my underwear in the living room with the cartoons up loud hitting the furniture and younger siblings yelling crazy things that don't make sense. And I don't like that feeling in my life at all.

I am tender hearted, and a very sensitive gal. When I don't feel God near, it breaks my heart. I know that He is ALWAYS near....so when I don't feel Him, I often know it's because I am doing something in my life that is separating me from feeling Him as closely as I had. Or being able to receive His love that He is ALWAYS pouring out on me.

I prayed a simple prayer tonight. To experience the miracles, the overwhelming encounter of the Holy Spirit, and the things I know other radical believers get to experience. We are one body-I know this. But I can't help feeling sad for myself (instead of sharing in their victory), when they get to experience God's glory and I seem to be missing it. And not only missing it, but unaware why. 

So I will continue to seek God-to let Him teach me. I will attempt in my poor human capacity to rid my life of distractions that hinder me from seeing the glory of God in these miraculous ways that connect the physical realm to the spiritual. And I will continue letting Him use me and my voice to spread a message. I encourage you to stop everyday and take a look at what God has been doing in your life-because I guarantee there is a lesson in there that maybe we've all been missing for quite a while. The great thing about God's lessons during play time is that He doesn't stop at shapes, sizes, and colors...because it might be too "challenging"--He challenges us always to continue learning and growing and surrendering to His will. So where sometimes I feel defeated, I KNOW Truth and God's word says He will never be done using me or teaching me or loving me.

In Him,

Meg

Beautiful Girl

I had a lot of things I wanted to write about in this blog-musicals, girl's night, a near death experience....all of which I will get to sooner or later. But tonight, I just needed to post this song by Sara Bareilles whom I recently saw in concert at Harding University. She's been one of my faves for a long time, and this song reiterates how wonderful she is. If I could personally sing this to all of the young girls I experience life with on a daily basis I would. I hope they all hear it sooner or later. If not from me or from Sara then from SOMEBODY. You're BEAUTIFUL. Made in the image of the Almighty Creator. Beautiful Girl (<--Click this link to listen to song)




Beautiful Girl

You wanna walk into the room like that other girl does
The one that’s always making everybody fall in love
You see…girl you’re a lot like me.
She rearranges all the light in the room so you’re always in the 
shadows-
Well that’s what it feels like to you…
Baby I’ve been there too.
And I know how much it can sometimes hurt,
You feel like the whole world has made you the ugly girl.
Take it from me that you have to see it first.

So before you trade in your summer skin for those high heeled shoes, 
To make him want to be with you.
Let me remind you one more time…
That just maybe, you’re beautiful but you just cant see.
So why don’t you trust me,
They’ll see it too you, beautiful girl, you.

You wanna lay the blame on somebody else, 
All these tiny little minds that leave you up on a shelf.
But okay, I’ve seen it done that way.
Just in case nobody ever comes through, 
Riding in to come to your rescue.
You still have a chance,
You don’t have to be asked- to dance.
I know how much you’ve been dying to say,
Look how much everybody loves me.
Guess who gets left when everyone else fades away?

So before you trade in your summer skin for those high heeled shoes, 
To make him want to be with you.
Let me remind you one more time…
That just maybe, you’re beautiful but you just can’t see.
So why don’t you trust me
They’ll see it too you beautiful girl you

My God, My Father

Sometimes God hits me with such vivid imagery of a message from Him it's something I can't store in my "to blog sometime" files, but instead, write it immediately. This is one of those messages.

Tonight in life group, we mentioned just briefly understanding the trinity, and questioning if knowing your identity in Christ also means comprehending your relationship with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I am going to say that for me, yes, evaluating my relationship with the trinity has helped me come to grasp with identity. I would argue that there is a large difference in knowing Jesus is your Prince, your Rescuer, your Savior, your Groom and so on and so forth and knowing God as King, Father, Everything, as well as knowing then too where the Holy Spirit is Comforter, Coach, Counselor, Encourager, etc. How can you say you understand your true identity if you don't recognize the different relationships to be had within the trinity?

For me personally, I experience difference seasons of all of these. For example, I have gone through extremely intimate seasons with Jesus seeing him as my groom, my husband, my love, the ultimate romancer of my soul! The current season I am in with Jesus is recognizing Him as Lord over my life. Not Lord because He IS Lord, but surrendering my life to His will because He Lord's over me. My Master. (Of course, every now and then He still romances me in a big way :) Ladies, picture if your husband brought flowers or chocolates home from work on a random Tuesday for no reason....except in my case, he like....shows me 2 angels!) :)

There are different seasons I go through with the God and the Holy Spirit as well. I am leaving a season where I needed and had been asking for the Holy Spirit to present itself to me as a coach-someone who was going to push me where I needed pushing and motivate me in times where I feel unmotivated. This upcoming transition with the Holy Spirit seems to be one of revelation-where not only is God constantly communicating (because He ALWAYS is trying to-with ALL of us) but the Holy Spirit is allowing me the eyes and ears to see and comprehend it on a level that I know I couldn't. Hence the activity in the spiritual realm I am seeing for the first time, the multitudes of revelations (and new blogs) lately, and the list goes on and on. This is PERFECT for the spiritual season I am in too because I am seeking and hungry for more! And God is showing me.

My seasons with God are always a little more difficult to dissect. He is always the same, don't get me wrong. But I am ever changing. So where He is always my Father, I guess our relationship is that of a growing child. Except, I am not always growing like say a human would (infant, toddler, child, pre-teen, teen, young adult, adult, elderly, dead?) Sometimes I am at young adult, then feel like I shrink back down to infant. (This is probably a faith issue and not really the topic of this blog, although it might make for an interesting blog later!) So often, because I do not have a living earthly father, it is easiest to see God in this parenting role with me. Because our relationship is most often that of a Father and His child.

So I mentioned that we were at life group tonight, and since the weather was so pleasant, we decided to have it out on the deck of the upper level. Down the stairs on the side of the deck, leading down to the yard, is where all of the kiddos played while we had our discussion and cooked dinner. There was a good number of adults there and we were dispersed on this deck. The deck being surrounded by railings (as to not fall off 2 levels) except for the opening where the stairs were on the side. Other than adults there were 2 babies left on the upper deck for the night-baby J and my sweet baby sister (I call her my little Bear so that's what I will call her for the purpose of keeping kiddos names off the internet).

Baby J is not walking yet, but Bear is-and that girl was on the go tonight. However, we had her outnumbered-like 12 adults to one 1 year old. The dynamic of this child to this group of people is what I took notice of. Everyone on that porch loves this child-we are a family so we all love each other like family. Here is what I took notice of with Bear on the porch and I will apply to it afterward what God has shown me through this.

When the big kids came up on the porch, they were oblivious that the opening near the stairs could be dangerous for my little Bear. We kept having to remind them "don't lead her over there" or "could you block her from going to the stairs" and things of that nature. Some of the 12 adults constantly had their eye on her, waiting to rescue her at any sign of danger. Others would stop her in her tracks as she was heading toward danger, maybe hold her there a second or redirect her in her path toward something not so dangerous. At moments some would pick her up and love on her, especially when she would get frustrated she couldn't go somewhere she wanted. At times, she was simply called by voice to change her direction. There were even a few moments she knew it was dangerous and wouldn't go further than she felt safe but would stay and wait for someone to come and get her.

Doesn't this describe our relationship with God the Father So SO well? I will break it down. We might call the big kids our other influences. Could be the Enemy, could be non-believing friends, or even other believers maybe who are not so mature in their faith. They are oblivious to what could be dangerous. Maybe they're not watching our for our well-being. Maybe they're too concerned with their own. Or maybe simply intelligently they really can not comprehend the danger because their mind has not developed that ability yet-a spiritual immaturity if you will.

Then there are the adults who constantly have their eye on Bear, waiting to Rescue her from any upcoming danger. I don't think we picture God like this often enough but He is always there, ready to see us grow but always prepared (because He knows before it happens remember?) to catch us when we fall. There are also those moments, where He stops us in our tracks. Essentially stopping us from making horrible horrible mistakes. This looks like closed doors in our lives, maybe what seem like unfortunate things that really might be God directing you elsewhere. He always opens a door (and if not a door a window maybe) especially after one has been closed. He is directing us somewhere safer, and somewhere CALLED. Where we are being sent to do His will.

He knows we get frustrated when He stops us and "our plans" for ourselves (so laughable isn't it?) so He is ALWAYS there to pick us up and love on us. He can take our anger and our doubt and our confusion and frustration. He is the perfect Father and a BIG God at that, so He can handle us at our worst. But without fail He picks us up, loves on us, reminds us how much He loves us and that we are protected and safe, then sends us back out in the world to do spread His word! God is so faithful too in not only picking us up or holding us back but CALLING our voice to redirect our focus back to him. Like the adults calling Little Bear from the edge of the dangerous porch, He calls us back to Him. But, we can only respond if we know and HEAR His voice. How do we Hear God's voice??

We LISTEN.

And last, the times where Little Bear would sit and wait at the edge of danger. Knowing she was about to get hurt, or be rescued. God is a faithful rescuer--but sometimes He has us sit and wait a while. It's in those moments of question and testing and wonder and contemplating does the most character build as well as the lessons and character of God being learned in those moments where we simply sit still and know that He is God.

And just like with Little Bear, who goes home every night knowing she is protected and safe and loved, we know that too about ourselves. When we think about the things God does sometimes we don't understand-especially in the moment. But if we take a step back and see Him as our Father then sometime's his plan seems much clearer.

I am so thankful God showed me this tonight. He took a simple evening that could have potentially not meant anything really, except good friends food and fun. But He turned that into a message from Him. I am BEYOND thankful and blessed that God shows me these things-especially in everyday situations. It's one of those ways that He is whispering into my heart "I am here. Just listen. Be still, and know."

In HIM,

Meg

Princesses in Training

I have been so very blessed in the material God has given me to teach kiddos. Whether it be for my musical theater and drama classes, or classes I teach at church, He faithfully provides the lessons every time. I consider myself but a humble vessel of His will and Word and aim to put into the tangible-physical world all that He's given me vision for in the spiritual.

This past Wednesday I was asked to sub for a teacher at church, and take over the 4th-6th grade girls class. I was super pumped! I love that age group and God has given me so much material for them already! I was planning on using a lesson I have already used in a similar situation but as we all know the Lord has different plans for us. So basically I just wanted to share with you what we did. If you are a teacher or an influence to young girls in any way then maybe this is something we all can use and work together on in being a constant reminder of God's love for them throughout their lives!

In my mind I was going to introduce a simple lesson of insecurity. What it is, what it looks like in our lives, who we allow to make us feel that way, and who we might be making feel that way as well. But the Lord turned it into so much more. He turned my whole simple insecurity lesson into a discussion about The Truth vs The Lie. He wanted those girls to recognize truth and recognize lies. He wanted them to start learning to hear HIS voice, over that of the Enemy. He wanted them to deal first hand with this idea of the good which is of God, and the bad which is of the Enemy. Remember, these are 4th through 6th grade girls, most of which this particular night were 4th and 5th graders. I was a little nervous about the idea of teaching them so early that we have an enemy who is out to kill, steal, and destroy. And that he starts while we are young, having us believe lies about ourselves and others, so that we might not only destroy ourselves in the fight for beauty and perfection but that we might also destroy those around us!

We did start the lesson with the definition of insecurity. We named examples of things we can be insecure about. Then we moved right into "what is truth?" and "what is a lie?" in which we discovered we have a God and we have the enemy of God. Then we specified that everything God says is truth and everything Satan does is lie. Then we played a game. Marked on slips of paper in a bag were things that were of God and things that were of the Enemy. Each girl pulled a slip of paper out and we got to discuss is this truth or is this a lie. For example, "Your freckles are so pretty"-Truth. "You need to lose some weight!"-of the enemy.

After this we read a love letter from our Prince, Jesus, so that we might see what He truly thinks about us. The Letter read:

"My Beautiful Bride,

You are so beautiful to Me. I wish for one moment that you could see what I see when I look at you. When I gaze at you, I see a treasure ready to be discovered, a princess ready to shine, a bride ready to be loved. When I look at you...I LOVE what I see! If you could grasp how beautiful you are in MY eyes, then you would never feel insecure again. The beauty I created you to be is a reflection of Me, My love. I created you in MY image, so never doubt again that your eternal beauty is a breath of Heaven!

Love,

Your adoring Prince"

After this we read Psalm 45:11

"For your Royal Husband delights in your Beauty. Honor Him, for He is your Lord."

It was interesting that even at a young age, this stirred something in the hearts of my girls. They picked out things that stood out to them and they were the same things that stood out to me and my 24 year old heart.

After the letter I passed out a worksheet God had me put together. On the first page were the statements:

1. I love my eyes because....

2. I love my ears because....

3. I love my mouth because....

4. I love my hands best when they are....

5. I love my feet best when they are....

In these exercise, the girls were to hold a mirror to themselves and really meditate and reflect on what they thing GOD is saying about each one of these things. And in the sentence, they were instructed to look past the physical and see what God might see. For example, "I love my eyes because they see the kids on the playground that nobody else will play with." Or, "I love my hands best when they are serving food to the homeless with my church." Things like that!

On the back page of the worksheet there was a list of people in their day to day life. They were to write down encouraging things that they might say to these people-in hopes of breaking the lies that Satan might be having them believe, and to instead, speak LIFE into them with words from the Lord.

The whole night with these precious girls was such a good reminder that we have got to start IMMEDIATELY speaking life into those around us, and helping those lost in the lies and bondage or the enemy to find their way to God's Truth and what He says and thinks about them. If this is not done in our daughters and sisters while they are young, then the enemy has the easiest time planting his own evil seeds in their heart and before you know it they are battling insecurity, body image problems, eating disorders, dysfunctional relationships with boys, drugs, premarital sex, and the list goes on and on. We, the women who have gone before, are in CHARGE of helping protect our little sisters in Christ. We are to educate them as well as pray for them and fight in the spiritual realm on their behalf. If we are not doing that Ladies of Christ, then we might as well hand them over to the Enemy on a silver platter.

In Him,
Meg

You Won't Do this to My Daughter.

God is a poet :) Look what He wrote me.

You won't do this to my daughter

as you smile across a crowded room and captivate her seeking heart

with innocence as true as diamonds that even nature can not tear apart.

You won't do this to my daughter

as you make your way beside her life and toy with her emotions

you are nothing but a silly child who does not deserve her devotion

You won't do this to my daughter

as you laugh and play and win her precious love

you can not give her mere a fraction of the gifts from up above

You won't do this to my daughter

convince her all you say is true

"you're the only one who makes me feel this way that you do"

You won't do this to my daughter

because she's much too good for you

you don't deserve her tender kiss or her sparkling eyes of blue.

You won't do this to my daughter

I'm here to fight on her behalf

you think you are so sneaky hiding behind that deceitful laugh

You won't do this to my daughter

you've tricked her once before

she knows how much I love her now, and isn't falling for you anymore.

You won't do this to my daughter

because I'll hold her heart forever

and she's not coming back to you even though you are quite clever

You won't do this to my daughter

only I can bring her joy

she no longer has to search for me inside of stupid human boys

You won't do this to my daughter

Heaven wins and you will CRAWL

the Enemy is defeated

Love wins

Once and for all.

Angels and Demons

My friend Lindsey and I were eating dinner the other night, engaging in some wonderful in depth conversation about the spiritual and physical realm. She talked about how the spiritual realm is closer than ever and this is evident by the things people are seeing and experiencing more and more. So warning: this may not be what you personally believe, but the God I serve gave me these experiences and quite frankly doesn't care for skepticism.

I have seen darkness since I was a very young child. I will go as far as to say that without a doubt I have seen demons, or evidence of demonic warfare, over people and places. Even before becoming a Christian, I encountered this other realm. They were the things that haunted me every night at bedtime as a child in the house where I grew up and now as an adult, no longer haunt me, but are still visible to the eyes God has gifted me to see them with.

If Hell is the absence of God then I stand corrected in saying the home I grew up in was hell. Because I believe without a doubt that God has been with me every step of my journey, whether I was able to see it then or not. So if not hell, then it's safe to say the home I grew up in was a hot bed of spiritual warfare in which every second felt like Evil was the winning team.

In my childhood home, the two bedrooms I grew up in were at the far front corner of the house. A long corridor and lots of house away from the things I needed, like my parents. There is not a day I can remember walking down the hallways to those bedrooms and feeling safe, at peace, or loved. If we had glasses we could slip on and see the spiritual realm, then what it felt like might look like dozens of demons grabbing my legs, laughing at me, mocking me, and spooking me, with every panicked run into my room. I would slam the door, breathing heavy, and finally feel SAFE. As a child, I had no idea the nightmares and the fear were caused by something I could not see. Now, I know.

Once I grew older and we added a member (my little sister) to the family, I rotated to the farthest bedroom on the end of that scary hall. It was here I would have my first demonic encounters. The first came in a dream where I was trying to get out of the house. I can't remember the cause of it but for whatever reason we had to get out, and my only mission was to save my little sister. (The violent fighting carried over into my new stepfamily and I knew that no body would be concerned enough about her to save her but me.) So in my dream I packed a bag and ran out of my room several feet to hers. And what stopped me in the doorway was unlike anything I have ever seen. A demon, whose eyes shown red like the deepest of rubies yet empty of anything beautiful. The figure was black and the head, warped and making un-humanlike motion. The "wings"/arms or what have you, were blocking the doorway so that I could not get in to save her. The figure opened its' mouth to scream at me-the scream was dead silent but the noise scared me to the depths of my soul awakening me out of the nightmare.

My second encounter in the farthest back bedroom was during an illness. I had a cold or cough, or something-and I was having trouble sleeping for days. My stepmother gave me some medicine and after a few days I was better, and finishing up the medicine as instructed by the doctor. I remember thinking, this particular night that I took it, that I should not finish the bottle, but I did. In the middle of the night I was visited by a head ache so bad I literally thought I would die. Even at 11 years old I knew that I was not supposed to be in this much pain. However, I was frozen. I could not call for help. I could not even move-my whole body was absolutely paralyzed-EXCEPT....my right arm. With eyes wide open, unable to move, I grabbed the pen and paper on my nightstand and started scribbling in the dark my last "I love you's" and goodbye's to my family-because I was certain I would not live til in the morning. The pain grew more and more intense and in the midst of scribbling my notes I saw a swarm of black figures in the corners of my room. Flying and swarming like wasps. They did not come close to my body lying in bed that I could see anyway, but they were ALL over my room.

My other 2 vivid experiences with demons came much later in life. One was an experience when I lived alone at 19 in the...well...not the best neighborhood in town. It was winter and a storm was coming. The house I lived in was OLD and CREEPY...and COLD! So cold in fact that I rarely left the living room where the heat was contained. I had no cable but was obsessed with Grey's Anatomy DVD's at the time so I was watching one of those, about eleven or midnight. When I heard a knock on my door. I looked outside through my peephole on the front door, and saw a black woman with ratty clothes and torn bandanna. Staring at her but a split second her face warped, much like the figure in my room as a child, and again the spinning of the head and silent screaming that scared me to the depths of my soul. I jumped back from the door in fear then back up to the peephole to see if she was still there, and there wasn't a soul around. I called my sister who drove from her nearby apartment to aid me and said after driving around the neighborhood there was no trace of this person.

The last one I will mention was in a bar in Fayeteville. I was a BRAND new Christian and visiting my sister who lived there for a few weeks. We were there to see some friends of hers in a band playing at this particular bar. I knew right off the bat, just walking in, that I wasn't supposed to be there. After moving from my uncomfortable seat at a table to the even more uncomfortable place standing with other on-lookers at the front of the stage, was when I saw it. Coming off the face of a guy who had just spilled his beer all over me, and drunkenly starts yelling at me for getting in HIS way and poof. His regular drunk guy face warped into two, with the same black hole of a mouth and silent screaming like the others. Without hesitation I ran out of the bar as FAST as humanly possible.

So why do I tell you all of these stories? And where does the title of this blog come into play? I will tell you. When we seek, we find God. When we are hungry, He presents himself to us more and more and more. Because He is always TRYING to communicate with us, but most of the time we do not hear or accept it because of our own things going on in life. So after this conversation over dinner with my friend Lindsey, I guess in my deepest most honest part of my heart, I wanted to see the good-not just the bad. The 'of God' and not just the 'of the Enemy'. So in the midst of a nightly prayer to God, my heart cried this innocent prayer. "I want to see the good, too."

I did not think about it after that. It wasn't pre-planned or anything, or much I have ever dwelt on before. I did not think about it even all the next day. Until 5pm.

I was driving to church, taking the backroads from my city to the one where I attend corporate worship. On a two lane road driving say, North, there was a group of motorcycles coming my direction. My first thought was "those boys better move over" (because one of the 3 was across the center line). It did not occur to me in that instant that 2 of the 3 had wings :)

Not only wings but were transparent in this beautifully clear way. I saw the outline of a motorcycle body and wings and the rest was just a blur. The wings though were SO long and huge trailing behind the two figures. It was only when the human guy on his motorcycle passed me, COMPLETELY ALONE, did I realize what I just saw. I put the pieces together and gasped, "Oh my goodness...did I just see two angels??"

I believed it to be true in my deepest heart of hearts. So regardless what you think or what I questioned or any logic, I cried out "BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!" over and over and over while texting my fellow warriors to let them know what just happened!!

Continuing my drive a few minutes later is when I realized that God had answered my prayer from the night before. A prayer that my brain did not ask for yet my heart longed to see. He did it. He is good, and He is faithful!! And apparently, Angels ride HARLEY'S!! haha Isn't that funny? Even as they passed me on the road I felt the angels getting such a kick out of being chosen to protect this man and by doing so they were having just a grand ole time riding on bikes behind him.

God is GOOD. God is FAITHFUL. GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS. Do not be afraid to go deeper with Him. He is calling us to do so! Will you answer the call??

In Him,

Meg