Holidays have the tendency of encouraging people to take some time out of their normal day to day life, to reflect on things they normally wouldn't think about. Some take time to meditate on the blessings God has given them. Some take time out to dwell over memories of the past. Regardless of what holiday it is, or what that holiday provokes you to do, more than likely you do something or think something slightly different then you would on any other random day.
This weekend being Easter and all, I have had reflected on my family. And I am not talking about my blood family, but all of the other people that surround me in my day to day life. You see, I have not always been a Christian-in fact, it is a fairly new deal for me. I did not have a typical "Christian' up-bringing. And never once did I feel a reason to need or depend on a group of people at the church I randomly attended in my youth. If you take a look at my life now, all of that has dramatically changed.
Upon having been saved and attending my current church home, I was adopted into a family who truly and genuinely loves me. They immediately accepted me, and not love me because of what I do but because of who I am. Have you ever found this familial connection in people who were not your blood family?
Growing up in the house I grew up in and with alot of the family I had was not only a nightmare, but hell on earth. I didn't know the Lord and I didn't know people who loved the Lord. I didn't know anything but fights and violence and anger and rage. Then came the abandonment and alcoholism and abuse. Not only did I endure this from my immediate family, but those who were on the outside looking in did not do enough (if anything) to stop it. I grew up never feeling safe. Never feeling wanted. And very rarely feeling loved. Now, being an adult now, the dynamic of these relationships have changed somewhat of course. I no longer desire for the mom who walked out on us to read me bedtime stories at night. I no longer desire for the sister who raised me (but resents me now) to protect me from the monsters of the world. My need for this blood 'family' who time and time and time and time again has let me down and left me broken, my need for them has changed.
Don't get me wrong, because I love them all. And sometimes when we get a chance to visit, we have fun. Other times it is awkwardly apparent how I don't fit in with them. Rarely it is wonderful and everyone gets along and we have fun and eat and hang out without getting annoyed with one another. Regardless, my blood family never really taught me what a family was in actuality, supposed to be like. My sister will tell you that that kind of "family"-the kinds who take family vacations together and love each other and go to church together and are happy-she will tell you those are just fairytales....that it never really happens like that. The opposite of that is all she's ever known.
But you see, I have had the amazing and unique oppurtunity to witness that kind of family, that kind of love, firsthand. I live with a family whom I also go to church with, met at church last year in fact, and in the past 6 months or more I have witnessed family dinners, amazing and fun-filled vacations that didn't end with someone verbally abused, homework time with kids. I have gotten to see a husband and wife work in a partnership and bring a new baby into the world, a new baby who will never be more loved then by her amazing parents-parents who know how to love her because they know how much they in turn are loved by our Creator. I have witnessed basketball games, and picnics in the front yard, and walks around the neighborhood, and Disney World, and most importantly....LOVE!! Because I am not an intruder into their family, I am part of their family. They are my family.
And not just the family I live with, but there are so many more people who have invested into my life as well. After church today, I was asked by 3 beautiful women what my Easter plans are and if I wanted to join their family for their Easter activities. I am LOVED. People who did not physically give birth to me, did not change my diapers, did not see my very first softball game or meet my very first boyfriend--these same people LOVE me like I am one of their own. Like I am their own daughter, or sister, or aunt, or whatever! COUSIN even I don't know haha. What a wonderful feeling huh? To be loved by so many people, GOOD people who love the Lord, and want to invest into your life because they know maybe you don't have anyone else who wants to.
And I am not trying to bash my own family by any means-they all of characteristics about them that are wonderful and some that are not so wonderful, just like we all do. No one is claiming to be perfect here. But I will put it like this, once you have put the babydoll into the trash compactor and hit the "on" button....baby doesn't come out looking the same anymore. And after that she will never be the same. I wouldn't call her unfixable-because my God works miracles (even on baby dolls). But I would call her remnant. No longer will she be the same, look the same, work the same, or play the same as she once did.
We all have people in our lives who have hurt us so much so to the point that keeping them close, in the end only hurts us more. We all have situations in our past that have left us so broken that although feelings may change, what's done is done. I have been accused before of "running away"--but what I like to call it is walking away from abuse. When I was young, and in the midst of witnessing abuse firsthand, I never had a safeplace to go. Now that I am older, and i have family and friends and angels of people surrounding me at all times, I DO have a safe place to go. I do not have to be scared, or hurt, or alone anymore.
Last night I was watching the movie "The Blind Side" with Sandra Bullock, where she picks up a young boy off the street to keep him out of the cold for a night-then ends up loving him and adopting him and making him a part of her family. I couldn't help but be over-emotional, because that same scenario has happened to me most of my young adult-adult life. It started with one set of people taking me in when I had nowhere to go, loving me, being my family, etc. Then another, then another, then more. Then I accepted Christ and went to church and now I have even more amazing people who open their doors, their family, and their hearts to me every week! I have the biggest family in the world! These people are crucial to my life, and vital to my success as a person in this world.
Like Sandra Bullock says in that movie, all these kids need is someone to invest in them. To love them and show them that they have potential and to help them see what that potential can lead to. After the family adopted Michael Oher (the kid she picks up who also goes on to be an NFL football player) they enlist in a whole community of other people (tutors, teachers, friends, etc) to invest into his life, his education, his sports, and most importantly...his heart. He was forever changed. Just like I am.
I owe where I am today to my family. You know who you are. You are angels, living out a mission from God, making sure one of his orphans has a home and family, and KNOWS Love like she's never known it before. And for that, my dear friends, you will be rewarded. Thank you
In Him,
Meg
