Roadrunners and Canadians

I am always surprised to see the number of people who view my blogs--especially now that I am off of Facebook and have less of a sufficient method of getting my writings out to the world. Nevertheless, I am blessed by who comes to view all that the Lord is doing in my life, and hopeful you leave this place encouraged and more loved on then before you entered.

If you are a faithful follower you are not clueless as to the very challenging few weeks that I have had. You very well could have been part of the challenge, or maybe a blessing in the midst of trial. Either way, I am still thankful for you, and thankful for how God is using all in my life to stretch and mold and form me for my calling. I have finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel, miracles and blessings and provision like none other--and it all started Wednesday of last week, when the holy spirit intervened and brought me face to face with one of my biggest challenges.

I encountered someone who has hurt me very deeply and been a large part of the source of my pain the past couple of months. Many have been praying for a miracle and lots of changes of heart all around, and I truly believe that we might have been given one. I left the encounter lighter and more full of peace and joy then I had been in months. I was reminded of the Lord's faithfulness. He called me somewhere specific and when I started walking that road, it was by far harder then I could have ever imagined. But He chose me, and I listened, and chose to respond. In my last blog I believe I wrote about standing outside and through tears begging God, where are You in this!?? His response....."I'm right here. I've never left your side, even when you could not feel Me near. I am here. You are My child and I will take care of you. So be still, and know. I am here."

And boy, is He HERE!!! After the miraculous encounter I felt like I could do anything. For the first time in so long I was so happy I could fly! My spirit was soaring at God's goodness and the true transforming power of the Holy Spirit! My amazing fiance and I decided to celebrate (and by celebrate, I mean get back down to business knocking off many stressful things on our To Do list!) We were finally ready to buy our first car together (mine had broken down months ago and I was in a borrowed car that did not fit our family--another huge source of stress). We took off Saturday morning and had many routes we could have chosen that all lead to a new vehicle. We chose the Searcy, Jacksonville, Little Rock route. But, after driving a dud in Searcy and another dud in Jacksonville, we decided the Holy Spirit was leading us elsewhere. So right then and there we decided to take the 5 hour trip to Forsythe, Missouri and check out a beautiful 2000 White Durango that was calling our name...via Craigslist.

On the way, we found some favor (that my roommate was so graciously praying over us the whole time we were gone) and we encountered a TACO BUENO! (yes folks, it's the little things in life). After a long journey we finally made it to Forsythe, right above Branson, where we met Mr. Neil. A burly mechanic/car dealer with a smile of love and a heart of gold. We drove the Durango, with the sticker price of $3500 (well over $1000 over our budget) and I fell in love! My husband-to-be was a little more hesitant, probably thinking it was too good to be true! After the test drive, we were able to get Mr. Neil down from $3500 to $1900 (my fiance says is a true testament that if you stare at someone awkwardly and silently enough the dollars start to melt away from the bottom line). I still believe that he was an angel, and truly felt the Lord asking him to cut us a break after all that we had been through so far to get to this point. Mr. Neil was INSISTENT that we get married that night and to most certainly make sure to call him if we did (for those of you wondering, we DID NOT get married in Branson but we are definitely planning on inviting Mr. Neil to the wedding in August!).

With our leftover money we were able to afford a nice dinner at Dixie Stampede, where we found more favor on the sold out holiday weekend when we were the only ones with waiting passes and were able to scoop up 2 extra seats on the third row. We did not have the intentions of staying in Branson but mountain altitude mixed with horrible allergies made for one Meg who was totally unable to drive the 4 hours home at 10pm. Upon another bout of favor, my charming love talked a hotel manager into letting us stay in a room for less than asking price. The next morning we celebrated our new car with hot Krispy Kreme donuts and a trip to an antique store where we bought a set of vintage 50th wedding anniversary salt and pepper shakers (to commemorate the trip and to pass down to one of our kids with the funny story of the first time we bought a car together!)

Before our trip home I told my fiance that I wanted a picture of us in front of a scenic overlook so if he came upon one then to stop (because I was following him in the new car), but if he passed it then to just keep going. Well, needless to say, he passed one and turned around. I was hesitant on going backwards because I was so ready to be home but so glad that we decided to go back, because that is where we met our new Canadian friends, Mr. Brian White and Mrs. Penny White. They were traveling the United States in their home in a van (it is literally a van-sized motor home that is super old and gets great gas mileage!) They were from Ontario and decided to travel the summer to celebrate their 47th wedding anniversary --and if you're wondering, we may or may not be deciding to pay them a visit in 3 years with a pair of 50th wedding anniversary salt and pepper shakers ;) We took pictures and exchanged email, and left feeling so honored to have added them to the collection of people we have gotten to love on and who have loved on us throughout our journey together as almost husband and wife.

After what seemed like endless driving through mountains and around turns and curves of every shape and size, we hit a patch of flat road just briefly enough to see a roadrunner pass in front of us. This part of the story is important in understanding the spiritual warfare that is surrounding a blessed union that brings honor to the Lord. My love texted me "did you see that roadrunner?" and for the next hour I attempted messaging and calling him back, each time ending in failure. I had full service, and my texts were going through as were my calls, but for whatever reason, he was no longer receiving them. Everything in me began stressing which turned to small panic, for with no way to get a hold of each other there was no way we could stop if necessary for the bathroom or if I got sick or if either car had problems. My joy and peace in the adventure soon turned to fear and anxiety and frustration. When I finally got through to his phone we just so happened to be near a gas station in the middle of this tiny rest stop town which was located very far from any town we had come from and any town we would see again for miles. We took a bathroom break and windshield cleaning break. My love gave me a big giant hug to calm my anxieties of having to drive back alone and feeling now so disconnected. We took off again and no more than a minute later I received a message from him saying "I love you". In my attempts to message him back, my brand new Durango (Darla is her name) and I started running off the road. My tire had come completely off the shoulder and in my attempts to jerk her back up I over-corrected and was left wobbling on all fours to and fro, from lane to lane, for a good minute or so while attempting to regain control. The variables here folks were that we were not only on the curviest roads ever created but we were also descending a mountain, on a two lane, shoulder-less road with thank goodness, no oncoming traffic. I was terrified, as was my Love having to watch it all in his rearview mirror. After regaining control we both pulled off to the side of the road and my hero in the car ahead of me was by my side in an instant. We both cried and praised the Lord for rescuing me out of another what seemed like hopeless situation.

I literally feel like we were stopped dead in our tracks, and reminded to praise God and not be so quick to be frustrated when things don't go our way. My very very wise friend Sarah told me last week (after my miraculous encounter), that I needed to create and alter for this moment and to remember the Lord's faithfulness and fulfillment of His promises. So that next time I am in a dark and hopeless place I can come to this alter and remember that the Lord is here. On the side of the road, on the side of a mountain, 5 minutes from that gas station---I built another alter, thanking the Lord for being there....

....and as my love and I hugged it out, his car overheated and we quickly turned around and headed BACK to that gas station where we had stopped just moments before. What started as a pit stop ended in a trip back and forth from that gas station to the open O'Riley's Auto Parts across the street so my love could repair a cracked hose coming out of his engine. I sat by his side eating Subway and loving on him via words of affirmation as best that I could until an hour later the problem was resolved and we were back on the road again.

As we parted ways I told him how full my cup was. How had I not almost wrecked we would have never stopped and we wouldn't have been near that gas station when his car bit the dust. I told him how I felt like the Lord stopped us dead in our tracks for a reason. He agreed. And as we drove separate cars more than a car length apart for the 2 and a half hour drive home, I felt closer to him then I ever had.

You know how at the end of a big action movie, something blows up and you don't know if the hero or heroine you've been routing for throughout the whole movie is going to make it out alive? And just as the dust starts to settle you see them, walking slowly and dramatically out of the fire, a little bruised, ashes on face, tattered clothes (usually sexier) and most definitely, alive. I felt like that after our weekend adventure....an adventure that really started weeks ago through spiritual attack and anxiety and fear of the unknown future and ended with seeing miracles happen, provision of God's faithfulness, having met some angels along the way who are also routing for good to win, and truly out of the ashes we are walking dramatically with our heads held high (and hopefully sexier than before) and most importantly, we are alive and we are together my love and I. All glory to a God who plants dreams in our hearts and then stands by us as we see them through with His grace.

I hope you leave this blog today feeling more encouraged then ever to praise God and give Him thanks, even through the really hard times. And if you're finding yourself at the end of a tunnel, surrounded by light then you stop and create an alter, praising God for what He's done and always remembering that He is here walking beside us in this journey we call life.

In Him,
Meg

A Father's Protection

There are often times in my life where I feel so protected from the evil of this world. I don't see it or hear about it, it doesn't affect me, and it most certainly doesn't interfere with my daily life. There are other times where I see it all, hear it all, and know all about the evil in the world and it affects my little heart times a million. This idea of sometimes feeling shielded and sometimes feeling exposed, made me ponder God and His protection of  His children. Like any great dad, I would imagine that God has to balance out the things we don't see for protection of our hearts with the things we do have to experience, for the formation of our character. In my own life, this concept is rearing it's head like no other.

I am marrying the most amazing man on the planet. I am the luckiest human in the world that he chose me and calls me the love of his life. However, like all of us, he comes with baggage. Baggage of 4 children (whom I love and adore like my own), and baggage of a previous marriage (that rips my heart in two every single day). Dealing with dating a previously married man, I have been exposed to a LOT that I normally would not have been. For a long while, we both felt super protected by the Lord and very insulated by the evil we knew was happening around us. Now, we are starting to hear things and see things and experience things that do not make us feel shielded at all, in fact, I've had days where I am sobbing outside looking up at the sky (because that's where God lives of course lol) begging "where did you go??"

My brilliant and amazing fiance told me yesterday that there are just some things we can not be protected from, because there are things we have to go through for character formation and in order to teach us things we need to learn. And that God has in fact, not disappeared, but has already prepared for us to walk through this hard and painful road just as He prepared for us to walk along the amazingly easy and painless one before this. Wow. I am marrying someone a lot smarter then I am :) (and I am TOTALLY ok with that!)

What my fiance said has been sloshing around in my head all night. That idea of being protected by the Lord BOTH when we walk a painless road being protected AND when we walk into the lion's den. Well folks, we are most CERTAINLY in the lion's den (prayers are much appreciated). I believe firmly now that God is using this time for character formation, and growth of our hearts as we are having to deal with people outside of us who are slandering our character, spreading false allegations about us, judging our decisions, and fueling anger and bitterness that are NOT emotions or tools of the Lord. At the end of this time, we are accountable for how we handle the situation and not for how others have treated us. And they will be judged for their sin (aren't we all ready for THAT day!)

There's an old saying or maybe it's a scripture, I don't really remember, but people will often say "God will not give you more then what you can handle"--and it reminds me of a story of a father's protection. My fiance, our kids, and myself, took a family trip to a Redbirds game a couple weekends ago. After leaving the game we made the trek up downtown Memphis to the Parking garage where we parked and through the elevator to get to our level. Coming off the elevator one of our youngest, Sam, saw our car and like a kid in a candy store ran straight for it...about the same time a (most likely drunken) man in a silver sports car of some sort came RACING around the turns of the parking garage descending downward to get out of there (as quick as possible apparently). All I knew to do was scream SAM!!!! to grab his attention and maybe make him run away, but my amazing husband to be just stepped right in front of all of us to shield us from what was potentially coming (and then of course yelled at the idiot driver who endangered the lives of his family).

God is like this I think. Never too far away to shield us from potential danger yet not always holding our hand and keeping us from falling down, making mistakes, and learning some painful lessons in life.

When times are hard, and man have they been hard lately, I am trying to hold on to the truth. The truth is that my upcoming union with this family is GOOD, and PURE, and a symbol of LOVE. It is ordained by God and supported by those also ordained by God. It is wrapped in prayer, and love, and wise council. It is a union created to bring honor and glory to the name of the Lord and to impact the kingdom in BIG ways. It is not of evil. It was not created out of selfish motives or self seeking intentions. Sure, it is judged and mocked and ridiculed (but as persecuted Christians we know in those moments that we are very evidently doing the Lord's true work). He promised us that it would be WORTH it, and definitely NOT easy. And although at times we feel isolated or seeking those to support our decisions, God has in fact supplied us with the exact people we need in our amazing support system. We are not alone. We are not alone. We are not alone. And if all of Jonesboro should turn against us, I know still, that we are not alone and that we have been CHOSEN to do this.

If you're reading this, I hope if nothing else that it just encourages you in your decision making. I used to be a person who strayed from making hard decisions for fear that they would be wrong simply because they would be difficult. And, you miss out on a lot of life by letting fear dictate your path.

In Him,
Meg

Come and find your rest in Me....

I have been asked before, "how do you know what God's will is for your life?" Typically, it is asked specifically to me in regards to a life decision I have made. But often times, people generally are seeking to know-not just what God's will is but also, how to find it. It has been my experience after years of searching, lots of meditation and prayer, and tons of wise council, that God has a purpose for all of us. Generally speaking, as Christians, it is 1) to share the story of Jesus with those who might not know the radical Love He has for us, 2) to go out into the world and make disciples of all men, 3) advancing the kingdom of Heaven and spreading His name throughout the land.

But what does that Christianese mean? What does that look like in a tangible way? Does it mean to tithe more money? To attend church twice instead of once a week? Does it mean to donate as much money or time as possible volunteering somewhere? I don't think it means any of those things, unless those things are done with the heart change that is required of God's children. It's funny to me, how walking in alignment with the Lord's plan looks to some people like doing more things, working really hard, and checking off super awesome things off a super awesome list that was given to you by a super awesome Lord. Maybe I am just lazy, but when I find myself walking in direct alignment with something the Lord has prepared for me in advance-I don't find work and to do lists and stress and anxiety and time limits...I find REST. The GREATEST rest I have ever known.

There is something supernatural that occurs when you walk directly in line with something the Lord has prepared. You find holy spirit rest for your soul. You find protection for your spirit that seems to have come out of nowhere. You find communication with God effortless, and the bond between the two of you unbreakable. There's no striving in the rest of God. No struggle to DO more or BE more, but freedom to rest in what He's already DONE and endless Grace to just BE.

There is one song on this planet that describes and offers the type of rest my soul gets when I am super enveloped in the Holy Spirit, and that is "My Beloved" by Kari Jobe.

                           "You're my beloved, you're my bride. To sing over you is my delight. Come away with me my love. Under my mercy come and wait, til we are standing face to face. I see no stain on you, My child. You're beautiful to Me. I sing over you My song of peace. Cast all your cares down at my feet, come and find your rest in Me. I'll breathe my life inside of you. I'll lift you up on eagle's wings. And hide you in the shadow of My strength. I'll take you to My quiet waters, I'll restore your soul. Come rest in me and be made whole."
My Beloved

Will following God's will always be easy? No, it won't. And nobody ever promised that it would be. But it is worth it. You will be criticized, judged, persecuted. People who appeared to love you will mock you. People you don't know will talk badly about you. People who never took the time to invest into your heart and your life will fade into the background. But the beautiful thing about all of the difficulty, is that you are STILL following God's will. He is still there, protecting you and loving you more than you will EVER know. And the dreams you once had for yourself start to be transformed into something you could never dream up or imagine for yourself. New relationships will be discovered and strengthened, starting with a pure foundation of love and grace. Friends will emerge from places you never realized they were hiding, and they will love you unconditionally--because they know you're heart. They will trust you when you tell them, "this is what the Lord has told me to do", then they will love you, support you, and see Jesus because of the way you have decided to follow Him.

There is nothing more beautiful in this world then being set apart for holy service--and that is what sanctification is all about. I encourage you to look at your life, your to-do lists, your check lists, your weekly planner and calendar of events, and reflect on if there is any rest happening while doing all of this work for the Lord. He wants us, His precious and treasured children, to always know His love, His grace, and always walk in the life He has created for us long before we ever appeared on this earth. And when you do that friends, I promise you, your world will be forever CHANGED.

In Him,
Meg

Dancing through Brokenness

"I'm broken right now, but I still dance"--Kid President

Many months ago, the Lord spoke directly to my little spirit that my next season would be one of intense healing.
"Healing from what?" I asked.
"You'll see" He said.

Over the next several weeks, life for me changed in big ways. When the Lord promised healing, I knew that my next season would not be one of skipping through a field of wildflowers, holding Jesus' hand and singing "la, la, la, la, lalala." Nope. I knew it would be hard, and probably not fun at times. But I was promised it would be worth it, and His promises I believe. Little did I know, that this spiritual healing and recognition would come through what seemed to be consistent physical brokenness.

Over the course of 2013 so far, I have not been dealt an amazing hands at the game we call life. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism on New Years Eve Day and only a few days after that was told that the immense pain I had been experiencing for over a year was Fibromyalgia, which paired alongside a thyroid that doesn't work well--was no fun. A week after that I ended up having to have a wisdom tooth removed due to a serious infection that limited mobility in my mouth and caused even more severe pain. With the surgery came more jaw bone then they expected and my recovery was longer and harder than expected. Rebounding from surgery and all over pain, I lost one of my jobs which unfortunately was the one providing 70% or more of my monthly income. A few weeks later, I contracted the oh so heinous stomach bug. A few weeks after that leads us up to now, when last night on the way home from work my car bit the eternal dust and Mariah Camry as we called her, sang her last song forever.

Sometimes, when people go through a season where they can't seem to catch a break--it can take what seems like forever for them to see the lessons God had intended for them through each situation. Thankfully, I was listening, and He revealed to me long before this time in my life that I would be going through a time of healing. Crazily enough, the physical brokenness is providing spiritual healing like you wouldn't believe. Through every trial and every circumstance, the Lord reveals more and more to me. Sin that I struggle with and the root of why. Things in my past that I never knew happened or never realized I needed to be healed from. He is even showing me glimpses of what is in store if I faithfully walk this path with Him now.

Everything happens for a reason they say, but it is true. The diagnosis of the things happening inside my body are not a curse--it is a blessing to finally know what is happening, and how to manage the pain a little better. Sure, there is no cure for FMS but there are ways to manage it. And if I stand in the healing that is always offered by the Lord I am certain I will be cured. The wisdom tooth and jaw removal, although a horrifying experience, has helped rid the pain I have had for years caused by TMJ (which is the rubbing together of excess jaw bone)! Even down to the car situation---I woke up today with more faith then ever that the Lord would provide. I concocted a photography deal and had a goal of raising $1000 (pledged) in the next week or two. I raised $1200 pledged in less than 3 hours AND potentially found a new car with the help and dedication of some of the most amazing angels on earth I get to call friends/family--or shall I say, the LORD did all of that. He is preparing these things for me and I am simply walking through them. I was telling a friend today, I would not wish this mishap on anyone but I most certainly wish for anyone and everyone to have the kind of experiences I have had where essentially I have had nothing and see the Lord provide everything I need in that situation, and more!

Have you ever gone through a haunted house as a kid, maybe with a parent or older sibling. You know you have to go because one its Halloween and it's expected, but also the experience you know you will have because you are promised something upon deciding to go through. As little kids, we hold tightly to our parent's hand, stay real close, hold our head down and close our eyes---every now and then peeking through just to see what we are missing. That is how I feel this season. Just like with the haunted house, we are promised we will get out alive--I know this season won't kill me. So I am clinging tight to my Father's hand, closing my eyes (while still soaking up the healing and learning lessons that He needs me to), and walking close to Him until this Haunted House that is my life this season, is finally over. At the end you are always glad you did it, proud you accomplished that you could do it (with God of course), and then ready to get the heck out of there!

One of the things I have learned this season, is to dance through the brokenness. Below is a video of the story of Kid President. If you haven't heard of this kid, then do yourselves a favor and watch him. His spirit is contagious and you can not watch and remain unchanged.

Story of Kid President

So today, I am on my face praising sweet Jesus for His constant provision. I am rejoicing for His promises being fulfilled, even the hard ones, I know He is forever faithful. And I encourage you to listen to the Lord today and find those things your struggling with in this season and watch God faithfully show you what it's all for. We all have times of brokenness, but as kid president says "I'm broken right now, but I still dance!"

Will you choose to dance with the Lord?
In Him,
Meg

Where you lead....

Wow, it's been a very long time since I have blogged. I feel like a nervous middle school girl asking a boy she likes to awkwardly go to the spring dance--how do i do this!?? haha I imagine I'll muddle through as always, and hopefully you choose to stick around and witness the fun.

Over the past few months there has been SO much that's happened, so many revelations to share, and so much has changed. There was a lot I intended to blog about, some never made it past the drafts section, and there's a lot I am still processing and hopefully the Lord will piece together soon the message He wants me to deliver soon. Oddly enough, this is the one that has made it to "past the drafts" section in my little mind--and for no other reason except for the fact that the thought is fully developed enough to write about. Again, this is all the Lord's cultivating--I am simply farming the fields and open to His message. Don't shoot the messenger.

Since 2013 rolled around, I have been sick or physically unwell with some random something or another. The very first week of 2013 I was diagnosed with having hypothyroidism and fibromyalgia. I was fighting hard some infections that were not going anywhere and basically for the whole month of December, after teddy bears, teaching, and nannying--I was on a couch, in pain. Upon taking some new (herbal of course) medication I started feeling better and then quickly was hit hard with a bad gum infection caused by a wisdom tooth that needed to be removed. Along with the tooth came a little jaw bone, and the recovery was much longer and much more excruciating then initially estimated. After that there were a couple of weeks I felt good with the exception of FMS attacks, and then--shock--the dreaded stomach virus. So needless to say, I have spent a lot of time in a bed or on a couch in 2013, recovering. And during this recovery I watched a lot of Netflix---particularly old episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8 ((this is where the blog actually starts)).

Watching this show from the beginning, and seeing the downward spiral of two people who at one point very much loved each other, was eye opening. I have been observing marriages for a very very long time. Taking note of the system that is a marriage, the things people do within one to glorify God or choose to glorify one another. The fight and struggle, as well as the victories and celebrations. And most intently--the attack of the enemy. What I witness from Jon and Kate as well as those around me is this bold statement--The true attack of the enemy comes in the form of creating men to be complacent as passive fathers who never step up to take lead of their family which in turn creates aggressive women who feel the need to lead and control a situation that was never designed to be theirs to lead. Both parties experience resentment, anger, bitterness,etc. This creates distance, dissonance, dishonest behavior, and divorce.

In the book, Wild at Heart, author John Eldridge says this:

      "Let me ask you a question: Where is Adam while the serpent is tempting Eve? He's standing right there: 'She also gave some to her husband, who was with her and he ate it' (3:6). The Hebrew for "with her" means right there, elbow to elbow. Adam isn't away in another part of the forest; he has no alibi. He is standing right there, watching the whole thing unravel. What does he do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He says not a word, doesn't lift a finger. He won't risk, he won't fight, he won't rescue Eve. Our first father--the first real man--gave in to paralysis. He denied his very nature and went passive. And every man after him, every son of Adam, carries in his heart now the same failure. Every man repeats the sin of Adam, everyday. We won't risk, we won't fight, and we won't rescue Eve. We are truly a chip off the old block."

He and His wife Stasi go on to write in their book, Love and War:

     When a man goes bad, as every man has in some way gone bad after the Fall, what is most deeply marred is his strength. He either becomes a passive weak man-strength surrendered--or he becomes a violent, driven man--strength unglued. When a woman falls from grace, what is most deeply marred is her tender vulnerability, beauty that invites to life. She becomes a dominating, controlling woman--or a desolate, needy, mousy woman. Or some odd combination of both, depending on her circumstance.

We as women are given the privilege of being the crown of all creation. The figure that invites life to happen within us and all around us. Men are leaders and keepers of the earth, head of the household and drawn to the adventure that is truly loving a woman. When the design and intention of male and female get mixed up or lost, we then become flowers who are trying to fly, birds who are trying to swim, and trees that are trying to run. We are going against all that we were created and designed to do. And we wonder why our marriages are failing?

I have a wonderful friend named Caleb, and recently he and I had the pleasure of dancing together. He had never waltzed before so I got the bright idea to teach him. And oh, what the Lord revealed to me during this dance. We went through the steps, the 1,2,3-1,2,3-1,2,3--etc etc. Then we came together to try it out as partners. Then we put on some music to see if we could keep up. He knew the steps, but since he was still trying to figure things out I kept finding myself trying to lead. Every time I did, we ended up stepping on toes and it was just a hot mess. But, when I stopped trying to control and trusted him to lead as he was intended to do, the dance was beautiful, and easy, and flawless in a way. He twirled me around the room and we had the best time. Life is like a dance you know? You go through a little bit of life learning the steps on your own, and then all of a sudden you find yourself with a partner and somehow have to figure out how to merge the individual steps you had been taking into a beautiful partnership that not only gets you from point A to point B, but eventually is beautifully easy, flawless, and fun! Since Caleb did not know the steps initially, I had to gently guide him into his role as a leader---and this will happen in life too. Sometimes, even the strongest of leading men, does not have a clue where to go or what to do. And it is our job as women to come alongside and gently guide them back to their position as leaders.

When life and relationships and marriages happen this way, it creates a God-honoring, magical dance that others long to be a part of. And that is what marriage was intended to do. Bring glory to God so that when others see the relationship they stop, amazed, and say--I want to be a part of THAT dance.

In Him,
Meg

Something Worth Fighting For

Those of you who know me personally are not surprised that so much time lapses between my blogs on occasion. I assure you, I have a notes section in my phone full of things I can't wait to share with you all, but with the craziness of life also comes a huge time restraint. However, I feel so passionate about getting my next thoughts down on paper that I know it will not be another idea or lesson that sits untouched in my phone. This one matters.

This morning I was sick so did not attend church. I did though, have an AMAZING morning with the Lord. Basking in His unconditional love for me, His grace, and through knowing and accepting those two things, His healing as well. I woke up a second time feeling rejuvenated beyond belief! If you know me and the health struggles I have had the last few weeks you will share in my praise to God for a morning of energy and healing and peace! I did not start my morning out thinking I was going to intentionally spend time with the Lord--but don't you know Him and His constant pursing of our hearts, that a morning with Him is exactly what I got.

Needing some background noise I turned on Netflix and clicked on the first movie it recommended for me, which happened to be Fireproof. Assuming I would fall back asleep, it didn't matter to me really what was on. I had never seen Fireproof except 10 minutes of the beginning in a movie theater long before I knew Christ. And the acting was so off-putting to me at the time that I just walked out and snuck into another theater (again, I did not know the Lord haha). But today was different, seeing things with different eyes (my Jesus Goggles as I've been known to refer to them), every message of love and grace and redemption and healing in the movie screamed loud and clear. My heart was overwhelmed at the end with this JOY and LOVE GOO haha. So, instead of tearing the movie a part for some poor casting choices, I have a new respect of the symbolism and the meaning behind this film. And, although I am several years late to the Fireproof party--I would love to share with you some of the things that touched me the most.

One of my favorite images of this film is when Caleb is pulling a little girl out of the burning house. His fierce drive and determination not to let her family down or give up on saving this little girl's life, is basically what the whole movie is about. Not letting go or giving up on love, because it's worth fighting for and worth saving. Always. This character was so quick to jump in and rescue people in burning buildings but when it came to his own life and his marriage, he was quicker to just give up and walk away. Until he realized what true love is, and then realized that you never leave your partner in a burning building. Then he fought like crazy to rescue his love. There is another picture I love, after Caleb has realized his desire to fight for his marriage. His wife is sick, and he brings her food. He checks her temperature. He is by her side, regardless of the fact that she doesn't really want him there and regardless of the fact that in that moment he was getting nothing in return. But instead, unconditionally loving her. I kept hearing the words, "for better or worse" while watching this scene, and so humbled at his changed heart toward his wife.

In that same scene, he gets on his knees, and with tears in his eyes-he asks for her forgiveness, and tells her how sorry he is for all that he has done and the many ways he has wronged her. This act of seeking forgiveness and righting wrongs was relevant throughout the film as Caleb later did this with his mother. Seeing him looking into their eyes and really seeking forgiveness for how he has hurt them was again, humbling and so moving to see.

Caleb's father played a significant role in this movie--he was the one who sent him the Love Dare, he was the one who continuously rooted for and prayed for his marriage, and he was there during his conversation at the cross. Physically they are at a wooden cross but also spiritually, they have the conversation that leads to Caleb's decision to follow Christ and surrender his life over to God. So in the end, when Caleb and Katherine's marriage is reconciled, there is a small scene you see where the dad gets the phone call and rejoices for his son. In that moment, I knew that's exactly what our Heavenly Father does too. Rejoices for our decisions to love, to stay, to fight, and to be honorable in our relationships to bring glory to the Father.

I was in tears almost the entire movie, and although I am not married, I dropped to the floor and prayed after it was over--for a man whose heart is taken by the Lord. For a man who will lead me closer to the cross each day we are together. For a man who will fight for our marriage always, and always seek to be an honorable man who loves me because he knows how much he is loved by our Father.

If you haven't seen the movie, I definitely recommend you to do so. And after it is over, drop to your knees and share with Papa what He knows is already on your heart. Then bask in his love and healing. Lastly, spread the love goo that you are receiving from sweet baby Jesus to everyone you encounter!!!
Light and Love,
Meg

"Love is a shelter

In a raging storm

Love is peace

In the middle of a war

And if we try to leave;

May God send angels to guard the door

No, love is not a fight

But it's something worth fighting for"

Love is not a fight

Prayer for Healing

A 9 year old child, praying over a picture of her sister, begging God-"Please not her, please not her, please not her."

That was me, in 1998 at the Westside Middle School shooting. We all have different stories about that horrific day, but as another day much similar to that one unfolds today for the poor babies and families in Newton, Connecticut-we are remembering painfully what happened here in our own community, and the heartbreak we feel because we know what that town is experiencing right now. 

Father God,

I lift up to you, as are people around the entire world right now, the community of Newtown CT. There are parents and siblings Lord, just like me, who simply hold a picture and pray that their family was not one of the ones killed. Lord, there are pure and innocent children, like my sister and SO many others, who will forever remember the gunshots, remember the blood stained hallways, remember the screams, remember everything. forever. Hold them near. Lord there are teachers, like our sweet Mrs Spencer and so many others here, who risked their lives today to save their students. There are families who have waited and waited and waited, only to find out that their mom or son or daughter is not coming out alive. And Father, I ask you to wrap your Daddy arms around them, all of them, and comfort them in a supernatural way today. Send your angels to do battle in the heavenlies so the sweet sweet souls affected by this tragedy today are not mocked by the enemy and are safely able to grieve and to weep and to learn and to grow from this, without outside interference. Many paths will be chosen today God, for many people, and I ask that you be there with them as I know you already are, guiding the decisions they make and the healing that will take place for the rest of their lives. God I thank you today, for the Glory I know is yours, and the beauty that I know you will turn this mess into. Because that is who you are, and something very beautiful will come of this awful tragedy. It just has to. And whether that gift is faith or forgiveness or grace for the human race we may not ever know, but we can rest assured that You Father are THERE. You are in this. And You have something to say. God I thank you from the bottom of my heart for my sister. When I hear of tragedies like this I am no longer a 25 year old level headed adult--I am a terrified 9 year old child praying over a picture of her sister, begging you, "please God, not Brittany. Please God, not her." And it wasn't her. And thanking you once will never be enough for me although I know you know how grateful I am to still have her. We all take for granted the loved ones in our lives Lord and the unconditional love that we should always show them, as well as our brothers and sisters in the world. Father may we take many lessons from this tragedy, LOVE, being one of them. I pray for the peace in which only you can provide God, for the community of Newtown. I seek guidance for the community of Jonesboro--may we unite and find a way to collectively be there for the families in Connecticut. The entire world was with us here during our tragedy, and Lord may we find the strength and the ability to be there for them during theirs. One of the most helpful tools in healing God is knowing we are not alone in the fight, that we have people rooting on our behalf. Well God, I ask that you show us as the Jonesboro community, how to root on the behalf of Newtown, Connecticut. Lord we love you so much, and we trust that you are faithful and have plans of GOOD for us and not of harm. So we offer this up to You. We surrender our grief and our pain and understand that you have bigger and better plans for those sweet babies who lost their lives today, and wow what we KNOW you are going to do in the lives of the families here on earth who lost them. Thank you for taking this from us. We know you are big enough to handle our questions and our anger and our confusion, and as our perfect Daddy we thank you for that, for you too know what it's like to lose a son. Thank you for Him. And it's in His name I pray to you now,

Amen

The Humble Elf

So this week has been interestingly stressful. I have been sick with the crud for what seems like forever (but really has only been a week of course) all while trying to prepare for several Christmas performances all happening the same week. Oh yes, and someone tried to break into my house....while I was in there. Needless to say, I was bitten by the stress bug for a while. Well I woke up today after many home remedies, antibiotics, and a new thing of mace, a new woman! I feel like a million bucks compared to last week!

Of course in our moments of "light at the end of the tunnel" the Lord loves to show us our behavior while in that dark tunnel and heal us from the mechanisms that have trained us to respond and react the way that we do in life situations. So in the Elf on the Shelf Spirit, the Lord has sent me Humble. Humble is magical creature with the ability to show you error in a situation. Especially a situation where you behaved the same way you might have judged someone else in that situation for.

Over the weekend I performed at a Christmas production my church was having to celebrate the season with one another. It's a time of joyous celebration, eating, entertainment--the works. Well, during the festivities a great friend of mine seemed to be having a miserable time. Everything about her demeanor, her attitude, remarks even, showed she was ready to go home before it ever started. Now, I almost said something to her even. About her hateful comments and unnecessary attitude because those around her were a little intimidated as well as pretty shocked. However, I did not say anything in hopes to diffuse a potential blow up.

So with Humble the elf around there are not many situations like that, that go unnoticed and untaught (in terms of a lesson I clearly need to learn as well). Tonight was one of my rehearsals for the Christmas show I am in and be it 3 days before opening night everyone was on edge. It's hard to remember to be kind and joyous and energetic and compassionate when crammed on stage with 50 other people all awaiting cues and moving props and lugging set pieces and a million other things going on. I have been counting my blessings that I am only singing and in a small enough role I never dreamt I would stress about it. Well I get out there and what do I do? Complain! The music wasn't loud enough so I couldn't hear my cues; nobody knew who was to carry mics and who was to get which one; choreography had to change on the fly to accommodate the mic situation. And I just lost all manners, acting like it was a huge deal when it's not at all. We are literally the tiniest part of this show and I complained about a mic stand!! Haha it's so ridiculous when I think about it now. And immediately I thought of my friend on Sunday. And how she reacted in a very similar way under stress to what was supposed to have been a fun stress free joyous situation.

So what I think Humble is trying to teach me more than just humility is also that we are filled with the Holy Spirit and representatives of Christ. And when we act entitled and complain or raise heck about things that don't matter who are we really showing the world Christ is? Being filled with goodness means you are not filled with junk and what comes out of you is a true account for what's in side of you. So I'm aware too of the need and desire to spend more time in the Word and in prayer communicating with God. And also one more thing--being stressed out should never EVER give you a reason to treat another human being like they are less than valued! Ever! So thank you Humble for entering into my life this holiday season and teaching me so many sweet lessons about being more like my precious Savior.

Until next time
In him
Meg

Shane

In the "NOTES" section in my iphone, you will find a section called "Blogs" with pages and pages of potential blogs just waiting to be written. When inspiration strikes, or the Lord teaches me a lesson, I log it in there so as not to forget it. There they wait, anxious to be written and viewed by the 30 people who read this blog.

Those ideas, however, are just going to have to wait. Because there are some very important life changing things happening for some of my friends and I feel the need to log somewhere in the world how special and important they are to me. So prepare yourself, as the next few posts from me, will probably be about people that I love. And if you love me, then you should (and probably will) love them too. So I encourage you to read, as this one is about my Shaney.

Shane and I met at church during the Easter musical in which he wrote/directed 3 years ago. I was a baby Christian and fresh on the scene at Southwest church after having taken a leaf of absence for several years. I knew him as the amazingly talented directed with a voice bigger than his body (and a sass to go along with it!) Over the course of the summer, as we found ourselves thrust into all of the same extracurriculars and same posse of friends, we decided to become friends on our own accord. Hanging out and sharing life with one another. The type of person that Shane was then intimidated the type of person that I was then. He was the kind of guy I was desperate to be liked by because he held strong opinions of everything in his life. And I longed to be something he held a great opinion of. Neither one of us were very gentle with the other one's heart. Things got ugly. God intervened. Then things got beautiful.

I had the privilege of teaching alongside Shane on Wednesday nights to 3rd and 4th graders. We were on the praise team together, and every Sunday I got to hear his beautiful tenor voice behind me was nothing short of a wonderful blessing. Come two Easters later, after much growth from both of us, we decide to tackle the Easter musical again--together. It was an amazing time where a beautiful narrative was told and the broken, hurt, and angry people telling it 2 years prior were now blossoming into instruments that the Lord was using daily. Thriving in all He had prepared us to walk through. Our bond was strengthened as we needed one another to accomplish a common goal. Shane was no longer someone I was desperate to be liked by, he was now a beloved friend whom I knew loved me. And not because of what I had or hadn't done---but because of who I am. He was one of the very first people in my life to ever point things out about myself that I never knew. And never in a judgmental or condemning way....but in a way that was grace filled and accepting of loving me for exactly who I was. No expectations. And I love that about Shane, because he has grown to love and see everyone in that same way.

His presences has challenged many people in our church, community, and circle of friends. He has challenged us to look beyond material things and recognize the hurt in a broken world. Hurt that money can't fix. He has challenged us to live a life that looks more like the life of our Savior. He has challenged us to put our money where our mouths are and to get off our butts and DO SOMETHING. To stop complaining and stand up in the name of Christ to fix the problems we can and pray about the ones we can't--all while loving others as Christ would have us love. And love them as we ARE loved. One of the most important things Shane challenged us to do, was to be a family. A community of friends who are there for one another in the good, the bad, and the horribly ugly. He encouraged us to walk through our lives together, sharing every heartache, every bruise, every tragedy--for only then would we be able to see God's glory first hand when He took those heartaches, bruises, and tragedies and turned them into a vibrant healed heart beating the Lord's rhythm for all who is listening. We shared that. Together. And in large part to Shane and his motivation to always seek to be living how the Lord instructed brothers and sisters in Christ to live.

I will forever be thankful for knowing him and forever be grateful that he has loved me in return.

"I thank my God for every remembrance of you"
In Him,
Meg

Mario and Jesus

As most of you know who faithfully read my blog, there is no small life-detail that goes unnoticed when it comes to the Lord teaching me a share-worthy lesson. Today's lesson: Mario.

I nanny 4 children, 2 of whom are boys ages 10 and 6. The 6 year old loves to play Mario, and more than that, he loves for me to watch him. One day, while I was upstairs staring at the giant tv screen and listening to the all too familiar Mario music, the Lord sent me a sweet vision relating Mario, and life.

In the game, there are courses, and each course represents different levels. Throughout each course there are things that try to eat you, freeze you, catch you on fire, shrink you, and kill you. (Sounds like life already, huh?) But in these obstacle courses, are also Mystery Boxes--you know the ones. You press the correct button combo for jumping, hit your head on a box, and something useful pops out.

When I was younger and would play this very same game, I remember speeding through the course to get to the end. I would never hit boxes, collect coins, or anything useful. I would also rarely die or encounter any problems either. Until, that is, when I would get to the end or a section in the course where something in those boxes would have proven useful. Like hitting a box and blowing up really BIG! Then you get to the end to face the giant and are killed instantly--because you didn't take the time to hit that mystery box.

Those who speed through life, often find that when they reach the end of a season they are not prepared or have not learned what they needed in order to get out of it and move on to the next "level" if you will. God gives us Mystery Boxes (or Blessing Boxes if you will), in order to prepare us for what is next. Sometimes these boxes are filled with tools, useful knowledge, a new group of people to support and love on you. Sometimes, these boxes are filled with things that are not that fun either. Things that hurt, and challenge us, and ultimately and painfully shape us so that we are ready for the next round with the giant. ((These boxes are my least favorite, because let's face it, who likes being repeatedly hurt or let down? Or always feeling like you are always the one forced to be the bigger person or be the one growing or learning something hard?))

Nevertheless, our Blessing Boxes give us power and strengthen our spirit to defeat what's at the end of the course. But if we don't stop, or slow down, and take the time to hit our head on the box....we will find we come to the end of a season, unable to defeat what lies ahead.

Even though learning is painful and growing is often times not fun, it is a BLESSING to become more and more like our Lord and closer and closer to Him with each level we pass.

My reminder to you, as well as myself daily, is to slow down. Hit your head on the box. Learn the lesson that pops out. And grab onto that tool, so that you can bring it with you to the end. Remember, the hard times are life shapers. Maybe you feel like your life is being beaten to a pulp but certainly not shaped...well, nobody said it would ever be easy. But we ARE promised, that it's WORTH it.

In Him,
Meg

Big Auto Body Shop in the Sky

First of all, I have been without internet for a while--so excuse my absence in blogging, you 30 regular readers I have. I know you missed me (Catherine) :) 

The other day, I was pulling out of City Water and Light after paying a bill, and across the street, also pulling out, was a mini van with a badly dented (assuming non-working) side door. It was not only dented, but covered in tape and barely looked held together at all. I found myself judgmental at first wondering why he would drive around town that way and never get it fixed. Then, as quickly as I started to judge, the Lord hit me over the head with this notion in my own life.

For those of you who know me and have ever ridden with me, you might recall the inability to roll the passenger side window down. Or wonder why I drive with my brights on down the backroads home when there is plenty of light. Well, the answer--my window, once rolled down, does not roll back up. And my headlight has been out most of the year, so driving with my brights on ensures that I am not "cock-eyed". 

All in a matter of minutes, while waiting to pull out onto the street, I start pondering why it was that I never got these problems fixed. The reasonable answer was that after a while, they seemed barely noticeable and quite easy to live with. However, just like the guy with the broken van door, I am certain that the problems were QUITE noticeable to others. 

For instance, if you were riding with me on a long roadtrip and started getting car sick and asked me to put the window down...I would not be able to. And in that moment, my small problem becomes a big hindrance to someone else. Think about the man with the broken side door--I wonder how much of a hindrance it is to his children when it is raining very hard and they have to maneuver inside their source of shelter in a way quite difficult to a small child. So, why don't we fix these problems?

Most of the time the reasoning is true enough--we don't have the time, we don't have the money, we don't have the support. But really, those are just what they are--excuses. In actuality, the enemy tricks us into believing that these 'problems' these, ISSUES of ours, are a security blanket that we are unable to let go of. So after a while, we don't fix them out of fear or out of pure complacency and our lack of vision to there being any problem at all anymore.

In this scenario God painted for me, He showed me Himself as a giant mechanic. All too often He waits in His shop all day for those who never come. For those who simply stopped recognizing that there is a problem to be fixed, and are living a destructive lifestyle or in a matter that is a hindrance to those around them. While in the mean time, the problems not only get bigger but they multiply. If you have ever had car trouble you know this part to be true. If you don't get A fixed then it will start to do something to B that in the end will ruin your C and require you to buy a D and an E just to attempt to make it function again. 

Satan in this scenario, is the salvage man. Making bank off of your spare parts and what's left of your car (heart). He is the manipulative factor convincing you that you are no longer worthy or useful or whole so you might as well start trading all of your stuff in for what he can offer you in return. He tells you that your problems are too big and too many to be fixed now, so let him take them "off your shoulders"--when really, he trades them in for even bigger issues than when you started. 

God is waiting. And He is no idiot. He knows we are flawed, broken people. But He has the answers. The solution. The healing lies in Him. And not in the emotional Sunday morning "my life was changed by a sermon but I am going to turn around and continue living in this toxic way" kind of "healing"....but true, healing. Where we are made whole. Our CRAP is brought to light, where there is no running or hiding behind false images where the Father is concerned. And right there in his Big Auto Body Shop in the Sky--we are HEALED. The van door is fixed, the window rolls down, and people once again, feel comfortable riding with us.

If people are scared or too uncomfortable to get into our cars, then how in the world are we supposed to show them the love of Christ.

Word of advice: FIX YOUR CAR! Because soon you will stop having any passengers at all.

((And remember, that once a year tuneup or that 3 month oil change, or that 3000 mile tire rotation---those are set in place as reminders of the healing we constantly need. Not a one time fix and then we never go in again. This is a lifelong process maintaining a car, and a lifelong process of healing our broken hearts.))

In Him,

Meg

Communication is Key.

The Lord is so good, and His timing is perfect. Sometimes He will allow me to see or realize something about myself, about others, about life--at the exact time I am supposed to learn it. This week, He talked to me about communication. Now, communication is what I studied in college (and by no means am I an expert in it at all), but it is definitely something I like to get better at, to work on, to spot in others, and in my opinion one of the most important tools in life. It is not just a tool of ourselves, but also a tool the enemy likes to twist and manipulate in order to reek havoc in situations which essentially breaks up friendships, families, churches, and relationships of all kinds.

A few days ago, within a situation, the Lord showed me a lie of the enemy that I was unaware I was even believing until He showed me. I blogged last year about life decisions--and how every choice we make is in response to whose story we are going to believe. The Lord's. Or the Enemy's. Everyday I am hit harder with the realization that this is actually not only true but true almost ALL of the time, in ALL situations. Including, yes, you've got it, communication. 

So I was telling someone a story the other day. It was a brief "in passing" thing that was describing something going on in my life. She asked briefly about a house I did not move into. So I answered briefly with a giant run-on sentence with examples that would've explained the situation better had I not sped through them so quickly. The conversation looked something like this:

Me-And I am moving into my new apartment this week.

Her-Oh is it that one place you showed me?

Me-No i couldnt commit to that place since it was in such a bad part of town and then I told that guy I was going to move in with that i couldn't live with a stinky boy so I am at an apartment of Paige

She politely smiled, having zero idea probably what I was talking about. The reason she didn't know was because I did not take the time to fully develop any of the story. Later that night I thought about why I didn't and the Lord sure as heck told me. I do not feel that others value what I have to say (sometimes it's because they don't, and other times it's more of the stigma I have caused by believing lies of the enemy about my worth). Because I don't feel valued, I assume that people don't want to hear my long stories, or bad jokes, or hear me talking at all for an extended length of time--so I hasten the pace, I skip important details, and even when I know that what I am saying is interesting, I always attempt to make it as less painful for the listener as possible. WOW! Poor communication skills Meg! 

When God showed me this about myself I laughed of course. Because I never realized it at all! But I do it-OFTEN! It's that choice too, every time, of whether I am going to believe the story of the Lord or the story of the enemy. Do I believe I am worthy and something to be valued? Or do I believe that the person on the receiving end doesn't give a flip about what I have to say and I'm wasting my breath? The conversation with whom the Lord chose to use as an example to show me all of this, was the PERFECT person to use. Because I KNOW that she loves me (and I her) SO much, and I KNOW that she values what I have to say. We have invested into each other's lives so there is no doubt about her care and her love for me and my silly stories.

Multiple times this week, God used what He had shown me. I teach drama classes at a non profit organization called the Foundation of Arts. In several situations with my kiddos this week, I had to pause and remind them that what they say and do matter. To slow down their pace. To take a deep breath. And to take the time to engage their audience (because good delivery is everything right?)

I was also shown the affects of poor (or non) communication in a not so fun way at all this week as well. And in times where communication affects your friendships, where you attend church, a job, a relationship etc...those are times you can be sure the enemy is hard at work. 

This I'm sure was not a teaching blog, so much as a, hey blog readers-I am still alive and barely kickin'. Still learning God's lessons in this very challenging season of my life. And hopefully passing on encouragement when I can.

In Him,

Meg

Encounters

There are times in my life, when I pray more genuinely than other times. So often I find myself writing a verbal letter out loud to God. "Dear God, Thank you for this, this and this. I need this, this and this. And would like for this. Thank you for Jesus. Thank you for loving me. The end. Amen. That's a wrap." There is little room for the Lord to speak back or move in my heart during moments of prayer that are like this. But for those times, when my prayer is worship and is true genuine communication with the Lord--I find that immediately He is moving. Prayer in the Spirit makes things happen, of this I am certain. The last time I freely prayed in the Spirit I saw angels riding Harley's down the road. This time, some more awesome things happened!

After an intimate and genuine time with the Lord this morning, I felt something stir within me. I could feel instantly something change. The rest of the day, the weirdest most wonderful things happened. If today had a theme it would be called, "Encounters with People the Lord wants you to Meet, Day."

My day after time with the Lord started by getting to rock a sweet, very sick little baby to sleep while singing songs of praise over her to Jesus. There was such a peace in that moment it was as if the Lord was rocking us both. The house where I nanny has a house keeper who comes every Tuesday, and the past few Tuesdays we have chatted briefly about church and about her relationship with the Lord. She told me last week that she wants what I have--the Joy that was inside of me. I knew the Lord was doing something in her heart, but would have never imagined that today she would ask me "What makes you believe in God? What's your story?" It's not too often Christians take the opportunity to invite conversation about God--but after asking Him to move in my life and to use me where I am, He plops a fearless woman into my life who boldly asks Me about the God I serve. AMAZING.

The day went on in the same way--where the Lord was landing me in situations where I felt like people needed encouragement or loved on or just a presence with them. And in SO many of these situations I felt like Meg wasn't there at all but that it was the Lord talking through me. After nannying I went to visit my friend Kate who's been struggling with some extreme life changes she's had since moving to Jonesboro. After that I got to teach some amazing kiddos some really cool things about drama and characterization.

After teaching I had plans to meet one of my students/friends out to eat and on the way there I saw a blind man walking down the street!! YES! A Blind man. At night, On a busy street. With his little cane, walking along the side of the road like it was nothing. And he was probably a good 70 plus years old! I KNEW I was supposed to stop and help him or love on him---I am going to be honest with you, I was very scared to do that. BUTTTTTTTTTTTT I picked up my phone (which I had assumed died hours before that because it had for REAL 3% battery) and it had just enough battery for me to call Police and Fire dispatch to get an officer out that way to find and help the man then DING my phone dies as soon as I tell the operator bye.

At the restaurant Clay (the student/friend) and I had the most wonderful conversation about spiritual gifts and using those to advance the kingdom and love on the world. We also had the SWEETEST little waitress (who also commented on my joy haha) and I KNEW she needed a pick me up---I could just feel it in my spirit. I was so happy that Clay and I were there to love on her.

On the drive home, I replayed the events of the day and how amazingly faithful God is to put us in situations where we are used by Him. But more importantly I thought to myself "does this happen everyday and I just....miss it?" Yes. The answer is yes. We encounter people and situations every single day that require us to be the light of the world. But our busy-ness gets in the way! Today, God gave me the eyes to see and notice things that I would normally miss....and WOW, my cup runneth OVER with joy. It is so wonderful to feel so intimately connected to the Lord in the small ways of just knowing He is there guiding and using you in your everyday life. A life that may seem busy or chaotic or boring or what have you. He is still there, still using us. We just have to open our hearts and open our minds, and we will find him.

Seek me with your whole heart and you will find me says the Lord. I will be found by you.

I hope you feel the joy through this blog because it is pouring out of my face right now! Sleep well. Be encouraged Beloved.
In Him,
Meg

Disney and a Home Security System

Ever since I was a little kid, I have had this weird fear of someone breaking into my house. I have a vivid memory of my mom and I hiding under the bed, while on the phone with the cops, listening to what she believed to be people breaking into our home. That could have very well been a dream, but as a young child being traumatized by this image in my head I am assuming that is where the fear originated. Even now as a young adult, I often shudder at the thought of not being entirely safe in whatever house I stay in.

I house sit often for a family that has a home security system, yet even there I am scared come night time that some unwanted intruder will....well....intrude. When I was a kid I used to booby-trap my room (as much as a small child could) in hopes that the racket or the 'trap' would scare off or hurt anybody trying to get in! I guess I have always had it built up in my mind, that if someone wanted in bad enough, they would find a way in--a loose window, an unstable dead bolt, etc. These days when I think about the Enemy of my soul, I often think of these moments as a scared child. See, I imagined bad guys circling our home at all hours of the way just trying to get in. Isn't that what satan does? He circles our lives looking for a loose window, an unstable deadbolt, etc!

The topic of this blog isn't home break-ins or the need for security systems (although both topics are completely valid). The purpose of this blog is censorship. And not just for us, but most importantly, for our kids. Let's just go there----DISNEY. I nanny many a child and are around all aged kids, A LOT, and most are obsessed with whatever comes on the Disney channel. Now, a good portion (cartoons and animated shows in the morning) are completely wholesome and not only that, but educational! However, the things that come on after school are atrocious. If your 8 year old child is watching a 21 year old adult play a 16 year old child, that in itself is a problem. But diving deeper you will see why. Disney sitcoms are not opposed at all to using language that I would never want entering the heart of my child, as well as the behavior of their "teens" on their shows. The kids are disrespectful to their parents, always breaking rules or being subjected to highschool stereotypes at their worst. They use words like "shut up" and "Oh my God" and "you are so stupid"--so tell me this....if you get on to your kid for saying these same things, but allow them to watch shows that have repeated language and behavior like this then it is really their fault for acting and mimicking the things they see?

I am not dissing Disney as a corporation--those of you who know me know I am as big of as Disney fan as it gets, especially the animated Princess side. But this era of the sassy mouthed teeny bopper- who's cussing, disrespecting others as well as their own body, and are doing things that young adults are meant to do yet being viewed by 8 year olds, is not going to fly on the day when I am finally raising. It is much too easy for young children to only understand or grasp the language and behavior of these shows, over the moral lesson they sometimes try and present at the end of each episode. If you listen to kids talk these days, they are repeating verbatim lines right out of Disney sitcoms---with giggles to how funny it was when remembering the entirety of the episode yet understanding little or no regard to the actual behavior that is being copy/pasted into their lives. 

If you look past Disney too, and travel to the radio, you will find the same problem. I taught an audition class last week where kiddos got to pick their own songs to sing for our mock audition at the end of the week. I had an 11 year old girl choose a Selena Gomez song and the chorus said this:

I'm missing you so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain

REALLY!?? Sure, you don't see any cuss words in there or anything vulgar in regards to body or sex---but read it again. "Don't know how I'll survive" is this desperation on a relationship the sort of programming we are pumping into the minds of children who are MUCH too young to even begin to think about relationships that serious? Same goes for Taylor Swift song, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus (a lot of these girls being Disney artists and I am sure convincing parents to believe their music is wholesome because of that small detail). A desperation and dependency on love that is not that of the Father is NOT the sort of relationship or love that I will be promoting when I have children. So filling their minds and souls with this music or these t.v. shows is almost like me opening the window for them or unlocking the door so that the darkness that hovers around their poor little souls have a MUCH easier time of getting in!

Censorship goes for adults though too. If we are to come to Jesus with faith and a heart like that of a child, then what makes us so quick to shield our children's minds of something impure, only to hit the 'play' button once they've left the room? We are not immune to the attacks of the enemy simply because we are older. We are just as susceptible if not more, because we no longer have anyone in our lives shielding our eyes, hearts, and minds, from the nasty in this world. And I tell you friend, it is HARD to get the impurities out of your minds once you have seen them, or heard them, or repeated them, or created it somehow. HARD. And it's only cracking that window open larger and completely unlocking the door, creating NICE strongholds into our lives for the enemy to camp out there! He doesn't have to force his way into our lives when we are not only allowing him easy access, but practically inviting him to come in with all that we say and do and watch and listen to! 

Censorship is like that home security system. Ensuring your family as well as the safety of your family and those around you. Sure, the enemy will still hover but he's not getting in! USE THAT ALARM! Not just for you, but for your children as well. 

Soapbox. Off. Thank you.

In Him,

Meg

When Love Hurts

Do you remember kaleidoscopes? As a child these small toys were fascinating--even the cheap ones. You look through them and suddenly everything is different. There are some that form dancing rainbows at the other end of the scope, and with every twist or turn, a new move is created. My favorite kaleidoscopes were the ones that continued to let you see real life, however, again with the twist or turn at the end of the scope, you suddenly saw 10 trees, or 7 blue birds. Maybe your friend appeared to have 4 noses or 20 faces. Life. Skewed. 

When things are skewed, they are distorted. When things appear distorted, perception becomes less believable, and if perception is ones reality then what does that say about reality?

I was chatting with a friend, no more like venting for sure, about principles people claim to have when in fact, their lives show zero fruit of what they claim to believe. I find this irritating. Not so much for myself in dealing with this mentality (although it is just as irritating), but more for others who may not know the Lord and come upon these people. People who promise to love, and serve, offer grace and acceptance, and the plethora of other Christian mumbo jumbo we say to make ourselves feel better and then decide to not do any of it, because it is simply inconvenient. 

There is abundant grace for people on both sides of this equation for sure. But when does the grace card stop becoming an endless pong game of hurt and start becoming a tangible way for people to start learning better how to love? If our goal is not love, then what is it? And if it is our goal, I think we as humans are doing a very poor job of achieving our (awkward cough) goals.

Why does love seem to hurt so much? Well, I am going to make a bold statement here and say that its because we don't know how to love. We are given the perfect example (Christ) for sure, but does that seem to be making a difference in how we live our lives? Not much. Your love hurts others, when love hurt you, and when love hurt the person who hurt you, and the cycle goes on and on. Not to say that cycles can't be broken--but it takes a lot of effort. (And let's face it, if you aren't willing to do the things on your "how I want to better love others" list then who's to say you will put the effort in to break your cycle?)

Love doesn't just hurt from say past boyfriends or girlfriends, that's not at all what I am even talking about (although more times than not that love pretty much sucks too). Love hurts from families, from our friends, from our closest relationships, and a huge love hurt comes from, sadly, the church.

I am reading a book (phenomenal life changing book) called "Love Does" by Bob Goff. In each short and oh so funny chapter, he tells a story about something that happened in his life and how that relates to following Jesus and loving on others. This man makes it seem like the world's most amazing adventure, easiest mission, and most romantic goal--this act of love. And it's because he stops "thinking". He stopped analyzing what love looks like and he simply started loving. He stopped forming groups to to share lunch and talk about loving others until he was blue in the face, and he left the lunch table and went out to love on people. Everything he does and all that he references in the book, points back to Christ--and the model He has given us to love others. 

Last night I read a chapter in the book that talked about the adventures he's had with his kids. A promise he made them all was when they each turned 10, they got to go on a super cool adventure with dad--wherever they wanted to go. No planning. Just doing. He told all 3 stories about his kids "10 year old adventures"--and WOW. This new kaleidoscope in which I see life, will forever change the way I love. 

He writes "I think a father's job, when it's done best, is to get down on both knees, lean over his children's lives, and whisper, "where do you want to go?" Everyday, God invites us on the same kind of adventure. It's not a trip where He sends us a rigid itinerary, He simply invites us. God asks what it is He's made us to love, what it is that captures our attention, what feeds that deep indescribable need of our souls to experience the richness of the world He made. And then, leaning over us, He whispers, "Let's go do THAT together."'

I had a college professor tell me once that people who are the (polled) happiest in life, are the ones who figure out what they're good at and what makes them happy, and find a way to make money doing that for the rest of their lives. But all money aside, to be able to share in the adventures of this life with the One who created inside of you everything that makes your heart race and want more, would be the happiest I think any human can be. Learning to share in that adventure with him, I feel, is LOVE. Understanding that type of love. The tangible love that DOES and IS and makes a difference in your life. That is Love.

If you have never known that type of love, or don't know that type of love now--then you probably aren't loving others in that way either. And if you aren't loving others they way the Lord loves, then it's very possible that your version of love is in fact doing more harm than good. This is not me judging. I am world's worst screw up at loving people the right way, offering grace, and all of that. Mostly for me, I forget that it's about relationships.I am mission minded and always trying to do something, or fix someone, or go somewhere, etc. I forget that there is a deeper level that goes far past what I am doing for my own sake of feeling good about myself, and truly is selfless. It should always be about getting to know someone, choosing willingly to walk alongside them in their life, and to be intentional about how you love them for the rest of your relationship. 

I woke up today, asking the Lord to take me on a whimsical and romantic adventure. He didn't fly me to Italy, take me out to a fancy candlelight dinner, or show up with flowers at my door. But he awakened my soul to something more. And those feelings you get in your soul are irreplacable bits of Heaven if you ask me. Revelation means everything to me, in understanding God more and loving Him in different ways. And He knows that. So sure, He could have done whatever He wanted in order to woo me today. But He knows my heart, and He gave me exactly what I wanted and what I needed. An adventure. 

So here is my challenge to you. Have fun with the Lord and the adventures He has prepared for you (as well as inviting Him on your own adventures and all that you do!). Without fail, He will show you how He loves you and that my friends, will show you better how to love others. So love stops hurting. The love-hurts cycle is broken. And the kingdom starts becoming a little more like what the Lord had in mind.

In Him,

Meg

All in Moderation

Aristotle once said, "It is better to rise from life as from a banquet--neither thirsty nor drunken." The problem   in ole Ari's philosophy here is that today, when people go to a banquet (party, buffet, Sunday afternoon lunch, fill in the blank with an appropriate place where food is being served)--they don't stop at being simply satisfied. Typically, we leave too full, too drunk, too this or too that. There's a common phrase people often use about this word: moderation. Everything is fine in moderation.

When you've watched ABC Family for far too long and it stretches into the wee hours of the early morning, you will most often find yourself watching a long line of infomercials. A few nights ago I found myself in this place, watching yet another long segment about the new product and newest weight loss craze--SENSA. Sensa is a (fill in the blank with your own word because I don't understand how it works either) that you sprinkle on top of whatever food you are eating. And BOOM. You start shedding those unwanted lb's. One lady on there is recorded saying, "I can still eat whatever I want! I just sprinkle Sensa on before I eat and the weight comes off after!"

I am always shocked at this infomercial and by this product. Not only does it shock me that you can lose weight by sprinkling on a fill in the blank to your favorite foods, but that people who have done this say you literally don't have to change a thing about how you eat.

Over a year ago I started Weight Watchers to lose a few unwanted pounds I had gained over the previous year. I'm a mere 5 foot 5 inches tall with the type of frame that every extra pound gained is very obvious to the naked eye. I have always struggled with my weight being up and down so I decided it was time to not just lose weight really but to learn about a better way of eating. So with a friend seeking to do the same thing, we turned to Weight Watchers. Weight Watchers basically gives everything you could possibly consume a point value. Everybody gets a certain amount of points a day they can eat on (with bonuses and extra workout points and things like that). My first shock of course was looking up all of my favorite meals and realizing that by eating most of them for one meal I would then have to starve myself the rest of the day. The first couple of days was brutal. I was so hard on myself and would not use any extra points than necessary. I had not acquired a taste for the fruits or veggies (that are 0 points to eat) and we had not been grocery shopping to find some things we could eat. Needless to say by the end of the first night I thought I was starving to death and I was ready to strangle the nice lady at the WW counter who told me this would be super fun and so great for my life!

However, after getting the right tools, creating some new habits, and being disciplined and focused everyday I managed to lose total about 12 pounds (and I am not kidding when I say 6 of those pounds were in the first week).

Following Jesus is a lot like my Weight Watchers journey. There's a moment something clicks within you and you know you need a radical life change (this was my first recognizable encounter with Christ--as well as that moment  I stepped on the scale and saw what the numbers had to show, YEESH). Unlike the lady at the Weight Watchers counter who sold me this packet of information and promising me a fun journey, Jesus never sold me something to buy into--He just invited me to come if I wanted to. And He certainly didn't promise me it would be fun, in fact most of the time He warns us of its' difficulty--dying to your flesh, selling off all you own, giving up everything sort of difficulty.

By trusting Him, focusing daily on His promises, creating better habits, and being disciplined and staying on track with the things we know we should or shouldn't be doing--it becomes the only journey you want to be on. The most beautiful one in my opinion.

So what about this SENSA craze? And those crazies out there saying "Hey man if you do it in moderation it won't hurt!" I wonder if drinking alcohol in moderation hurt the alcoholic? Or if watching porn in moderation doesn't destroy a man's family. I wonder if only occasionally murdering someone--murdering in moderation--is just fine for our souls and God doesn't mind at all. No. I am certain He minds very much.

We can sprinkle all the SENSA, all the bull, onto our decisions all day long--whatever it takes to allow us one more bite of what's tempting us right? And as long as we only do it every now and then, it won't hurt us at all. Hmm...

I wonder if before we made our decisions in life we asked ourselves, "Am I sprinkling SENSA on this in attempt to make whatever it is I am about to do, not hurt my soul or my life so much?" or "Am I convincing myself that if I just do this in moderation it will be just fine and not affect me or those around me?" Being honest with ourselves is what it will take, as well as having someone we are accountable to and for. Because the Lord already knows---it's most often ourselves that we try to deceive.

So I challenge you (and me too!)--go through your life and your decisions, asking yourself those questions. If you find yourself saying, yes I am a SENSA sprinkler or YES I am attempting to do this in moderation--then stop yourself from going down that road. And find some new discipline, some new focus, some new habits--and watch those unwanted pounds of drama, garbage, and stress of life come right off!

In Him,
Meg

Sweet Moments

Sweet moments are blessings from the Lord.

As a teacher, nanny, and capturer of life (photographer), my life is never short of those precious moments which make life worth while. In the midst of screaming babies, defiant kiddos, frustrated parents, and chaotic situations--it's often hard to find sweet moments, and when they are found, typically we throw them away unaware that they even happened.

The Lord uses these moments in my life to affirm that what I am doing is what I am supposed to be doing, or that where I am at in life is exactly where He wants me to be. So this week was a wonderful blessing when given so many precious moments.

The first came while on my first day of nannying a new family. There are 4 kiddos ages 8, 6, 2.5, and 7 months. The 7 month old baby girl is still nursing so that first day on the job was not ideal (as clearly I did not come with the 'goods' that a nursing baby would prefer to have.) Needless to say, naptime was a struggle. After hour 3 of the rocking and crying and patting and crying and sweating and singing and dancing and crying and crying from her and crying from me to utter exhaustion from both of us, I was ready to give up completely. My last trick, worship. I knew if I couldn't get her to sleep I was going to bring Jesus into that room and maybe He could! So I started singing "How Great is Our God" to this screaming baby who was in all sense of the word, fighting this nap time. Instantly, she stops crying, sticks her hand up from where I am cradling her, and caresses my face. Then, she starts cooing along with the worship. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. This baby, new to life and unknowing to anything in the world, who is sleepy and sad and mad and hungry and all other kinds of feelings, takes a sweet moment to worship her Jesus. It's like she KNEW. And I really believe that babies DO know, and have just as much capability of worship as grownups. It was utterly AMAZING. Within minutes, my crying fussy baby fell fast asleep, wrapped in peace from our sweet Savior.

Some of the most precious moments I encounter in my life in general are those teaching moments with children whether it be in my classroom, in Wal Mart, at church, or at home. I love teachable moments and I love when children respond positively and soak up the growth of their brains. As a new teacher, satan loves to remind me how what I do isn't as good as ole so and so who's been teaching for 20 years, or you know who who actually has a degree in what she's teaching. Sometimes I say poo on you satan, and other times, in my moments of weakness or when I am not focused on the Lord completely, I catch myself believing the lie. Today, on two completely separate occasions the Lord reassured me that I am in the right place doing exactly what He has called me to do.

This morning during my quiet time with Him, God gave me a word for a friend of mine who is also my student and no stranger to the FOA stage where I work. It was about following his dreams and knowing he has a big heavenly Father to catch him if he doesn't succeed. The phrase that caught my attention was "I used to be scared of NOT succeeding at things that mattered to me. Now I am scared of succeeding at things that don't." This guy and I have had many a conversation about college and pursuing theater or playing it safe and going to a state school and getting a business degree etc. I told him if I were him I would dream big or go home. God is in the business of telling us our business while on earth and a way that He has done that is by giving us specific talents and giftings. Who are we to throw those away for safety and backup plans? The student responded with a sweet message about how I am helping him as a person and as a performer and how thankful he is for me. WOW! What kind words!! I obviously am not doing anything. It's the Lord working through me!

Then after class today, a student I had almost a year ago, dropped by my classroom to let me know that he got accepted to AMDA in LA! He told me about his audition process and asked for my advice for things to have and know once he got to school. He thanked me for pushing him in class to be confidently fearless when going for those notes in his upper register and said he thought about what I would be saying to him if I were at his audition with him! He said the school LOVED him! This school will change his life and be that next step in following his dreams as well. We then talked about not letting the city and other people change him (he is a PRECIOUS Christian boy who loves him some JESUS!!) We talked about him going in and being the light of Christ for a city and for a group of people who may not know the Lord at all! I am confident that he will go in there and love on those other students and radically change things for the better everywhere he continues to go in life. And again, it had nothing to do with me but wow what a blessing to be a part of his story and his life!

The Lord is so good and so faithful, and He is ALWAYS trying to talk to us and love on us--we just get so wrapped up in us that we forget to look for Him and listen! But when we stop, and look, and listen...we get to be a part of some of the sweetest most precious moments that life has to offer!

In Him,
Meg

Water

Every 20 seconds a child somewhere dies from a water-related illness. 3.575 MILLION people die each YEAR from a water related disease. If you have the ability to take a shower in your home, run a dishwasher, or wash your hands under a running faucet then you are part of only 10% of people on the planet who can.

Water. Something we take for granted here in the United States. Oddly enough this blog is not about the kind of water that your thinking about now.

I am house sitting a blessed family and have been privileged enough to use their pool all week. I have been using this time of relaxation to worship and read and visit with friends and sometimes just think. Today I was silently reflecting on what's to come of my life through this new transitional season. I am moving to a new city in an unknown location, I am contemplating many big changes for my life including church and small group and way of living in general. Where this is an exciting time, it is not without it's stress and it is not without some sadness.

So this week has been a huge blessing to me in some quiet time of seeking from the Lord what might be next on our agenda. While reflecting today it hit me, man it is stinking HOT out here! I got up from my chair and heat soaked towel and scampered over to immerse myself in the cool and shaded waters of the pool. Immediately I was relieved. I was refreshed. And I felt renewed. As quickly as all of that happened, I could feel the Lord tugging on my Spirit reminding me that this was only temporary. As soon as I get out, step on the hot pavement, throw myself back on the hot towel draped across an even hotter lawn chair I would instantly be hot again. And at some point, would have to repeat the cycle over again.

When I thought about this never-ending scenario (never ending as long as I kept hopping out of then back into the pool) it occurred to me that if I would just stay in the pool, I would never need refreshing. I would stay cool and replenished forever!  Then I thought of the Lord, and how he promises us that we shall never be thirsty again when we drink of the water that He has to give. And in that moment, even the idea of setting up shop in a pool during a 100 degree drought was not enough. Eventually the water would sit in the sun so long that it would get too warm to swim in. And we all know that once in the pool for a while it loses its' affect of refreshing us because we get used to what it has to offer.

What if everyday with the Lord was like that first dive into a cool pool after an hour of laying out in the hot sun? Do you remember what that feels like? I do, because it just happened to me 15 minutes ago. But until now it's been so long since I have been swimming or even around a lake or pool that it's probably accurate to say that I wouldn't have remembered what it was like. It's.....GLORIOUS!

I want to feel that way in the Lord's presence every single day. So why don't we? What gets in the way, or what distractions are hindering you from feeling refreshed from the Lord's life spring every single moment you are in His presence? For a lot of us it is that we never truly experience His presence because we are no longer seeking His face. Some of us it is that lukewarm distraction of being half of the world, half for the Lord sort of deal--I don't think we will ever be able to fully feel the affects of being submerged in the Holy Waters living that sort of lifestyle. A lot of times even we are simply too busy to even care or to realize we need refreshing.

Today while laying out and enjoying the sunshine I did not want to dip in the pool. I didn't want to be wet and cold when I got back in the house and I felt like I was about to end my laying out session anyway, so I struggled with dipping in one last time or not. I held off, for so long that it made the dip even better. Because I was extra hot and extra sweaty and needed some extra refreshment. Once in, I never wanted to get out. I remembered how AMAZING it was to not feel the way I felt while outside of the pool, and how wonderful it was to feel the way I felt while IN the pool.

Are you letting Jesus refresh your soul? He offers us the type of water that the world will never run out of. The type of water that we will never die of related disease from. He offers us the type of dip in the pool that doesn't just last a few minutes, but a refreshing and replenishing of our souls that can last forever. Now the only question left is.....will you jump in? :)

In Him,
Meg