When things are skewed, they are distorted. When things appear distorted, perception becomes less believable, and if perception is ones reality then what does that say about reality?
I was chatting with a friend, no more like venting for sure, about principles people claim to have when in fact, their lives show zero fruit of what they claim to believe. I find this irritating. Not so much for myself in dealing with this mentality (although it is just as irritating), but more for others who may not know the Lord and come upon these people. People who promise to love, and serve, offer grace and acceptance, and the plethora of other Christian mumbo jumbo we say to make ourselves feel better and then decide to not do any of it, because it is simply inconvenient.
There is abundant grace for people on both sides of this equation for sure. But when does the grace card stop becoming an endless pong game of hurt and start becoming a tangible way for people to start learning better how to love? If our goal is not love, then what is it? And if it is our goal, I think we as humans are doing a very poor job of achieving our (awkward cough) goals.
Why does love seem to hurt so much? Well, I am going to make a bold statement here and say that its because we don't know how to love. We are given the perfect example (Christ) for sure, but does that seem to be making a difference in how we live our lives? Not much. Your love hurts others, when love hurt you, and when love hurt the person who hurt you, and the cycle goes on and on. Not to say that cycles can't be broken--but it takes a lot of effort. (And let's face it, if you aren't willing to do the things on your "how I want to better love others" list then who's to say you will put the effort in to break your cycle?)
Love doesn't just hurt from say past boyfriends or girlfriends, that's not at all what I am even talking about (although more times than not that love pretty much sucks too). Love hurts from families, from our friends, from our closest relationships, and a huge love hurt comes from, sadly, the church.
I am reading a book (phenomenal life changing book) called "Love Does" by Bob Goff. In each short and oh so funny chapter, he tells a story about something that happened in his life and how that relates to following Jesus and loving on others. This man makes it seem like the world's most amazing adventure, easiest mission, and most romantic goal--this act of love. And it's because he stops "thinking". He stopped analyzing what love looks like and he simply started loving. He stopped forming groups to to share lunch and talk about loving others until he was blue in the face, and he left the lunch table and went out to love on people. Everything he does and all that he references in the book, points back to Christ--and the model He has given us to love others.
Last night I read a chapter in the book that talked about the adventures he's had with his kids. A promise he made them all was when they each turned 10, they got to go on a super cool adventure with dad--wherever they wanted to go. No planning. Just doing. He told all 3 stories about his kids "10 year old adventures"--and WOW. This new kaleidoscope in which I see life, will forever change the way I love.
He writes "I think a father's job, when it's done best, is to get down on both knees, lean over his children's lives, and whisper, "where do you want to go?" Everyday, God invites us on the same kind of adventure. It's not a trip where He sends us a rigid itinerary, He simply invites us. God asks what it is He's made us to love, what it is that captures our attention, what feeds that deep indescribable need of our souls to experience the richness of the world He made. And then, leaning over us, He whispers, "Let's go do THAT together."'
I had a college professor tell me once that people who are the (polled) happiest in life, are the ones who figure out what they're good at and what makes them happy, and find a way to make money doing that for the rest of their lives. But all money aside, to be able to share in the adventures of this life with the One who created inside of you everything that makes your heart race and want more, would be the happiest I think any human can be. Learning to share in that adventure with him, I feel, is LOVE. Understanding that type of love. The tangible love that DOES and IS and makes a difference in your life. That is Love.
If you have never known that type of love, or don't know that type of love now--then you probably aren't loving others in that way either. And if you aren't loving others they way the Lord loves, then it's very possible that your version of love is in fact doing more harm than good. This is not me judging. I am world's worst screw up at loving people the right way, offering grace, and all of that. Mostly for me, I forget that it's about relationships.I am mission minded and always trying to do something, or fix someone, or go somewhere, etc. I forget that there is a deeper level that goes far past what I am doing for my own sake of feeling good about myself, and truly is selfless. It should always be about getting to know someone, choosing willingly to walk alongside them in their life, and to be intentional about how you love them for the rest of your relationship.
I woke up today, asking the Lord to take me on a whimsical and romantic adventure. He didn't fly me to Italy, take me out to a fancy candlelight dinner, or show up with flowers at my door. But he awakened my soul to something more. And those feelings you get in your soul are irreplacable bits of Heaven if you ask me. Revelation means everything to me, in understanding God more and loving Him in different ways. And He knows that. So sure, He could have done whatever He wanted in order to woo me today. But He knows my heart, and He gave me exactly what I wanted and what I needed. An adventure.
So here is my challenge to you. Have fun with the Lord and the adventures He has prepared for you (as well as inviting Him on your own adventures and all that you do!). Without fail, He will show you how He loves you and that my friends, will show you better how to love others. So love stops hurting. The love-hurts cycle is broken. And the kingdom starts becoming a little more like what the Lord had in mind.
In Him,
Meg
