Where you lead....

Wow, it's been a very long time since I have blogged. I feel like a nervous middle school girl asking a boy she likes to awkwardly go to the spring dance--how do i do this!?? haha I imagine I'll muddle through as always, and hopefully you choose to stick around and witness the fun.

Over the past few months there has been SO much that's happened, so many revelations to share, and so much has changed. There was a lot I intended to blog about, some never made it past the drafts section, and there's a lot I am still processing and hopefully the Lord will piece together soon the message He wants me to deliver soon. Oddly enough, this is the one that has made it to "past the drafts" section in my little mind--and for no other reason except for the fact that the thought is fully developed enough to write about. Again, this is all the Lord's cultivating--I am simply farming the fields and open to His message. Don't shoot the messenger.

Since 2013 rolled around, I have been sick or physically unwell with some random something or another. The very first week of 2013 I was diagnosed with having hypothyroidism and fibromyalgia. I was fighting hard some infections that were not going anywhere and basically for the whole month of December, after teddy bears, teaching, and nannying--I was on a couch, in pain. Upon taking some new (herbal of course) medication I started feeling better and then quickly was hit hard with a bad gum infection caused by a wisdom tooth that needed to be removed. Along with the tooth came a little jaw bone, and the recovery was much longer and much more excruciating then initially estimated. After that there were a couple of weeks I felt good with the exception of FMS attacks, and then--shock--the dreaded stomach virus. So needless to say, I have spent a lot of time in a bed or on a couch in 2013, recovering. And during this recovery I watched a lot of Netflix---particularly old episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8 ((this is where the blog actually starts)).

Watching this show from the beginning, and seeing the downward spiral of two people who at one point very much loved each other, was eye opening. I have been observing marriages for a very very long time. Taking note of the system that is a marriage, the things people do within one to glorify God or choose to glorify one another. The fight and struggle, as well as the victories and celebrations. And most intently--the attack of the enemy. What I witness from Jon and Kate as well as those around me is this bold statement--The true attack of the enemy comes in the form of creating men to be complacent as passive fathers who never step up to take lead of their family which in turn creates aggressive women who feel the need to lead and control a situation that was never designed to be theirs to lead. Both parties experience resentment, anger, bitterness,etc. This creates distance, dissonance, dishonest behavior, and divorce.

In the book, Wild at Heart, author John Eldridge says this:

      "Let me ask you a question: Where is Adam while the serpent is tempting Eve? He's standing right there: 'She also gave some to her husband, who was with her and he ate it' (3:6). The Hebrew for "with her" means right there, elbow to elbow. Adam isn't away in another part of the forest; he has no alibi. He is standing right there, watching the whole thing unravel. What does he do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He says not a word, doesn't lift a finger. He won't risk, he won't fight, he won't rescue Eve. Our first father--the first real man--gave in to paralysis. He denied his very nature and went passive. And every man after him, every son of Adam, carries in his heart now the same failure. Every man repeats the sin of Adam, everyday. We won't risk, we won't fight, and we won't rescue Eve. We are truly a chip off the old block."

He and His wife Stasi go on to write in their book, Love and War:

     When a man goes bad, as every man has in some way gone bad after the Fall, what is most deeply marred is his strength. He either becomes a passive weak man-strength surrendered--or he becomes a violent, driven man--strength unglued. When a woman falls from grace, what is most deeply marred is her tender vulnerability, beauty that invites to life. She becomes a dominating, controlling woman--or a desolate, needy, mousy woman. Or some odd combination of both, depending on her circumstance.

We as women are given the privilege of being the crown of all creation. The figure that invites life to happen within us and all around us. Men are leaders and keepers of the earth, head of the household and drawn to the adventure that is truly loving a woman. When the design and intention of male and female get mixed up or lost, we then become flowers who are trying to fly, birds who are trying to swim, and trees that are trying to run. We are going against all that we were created and designed to do. And we wonder why our marriages are failing?

I have a wonderful friend named Caleb, and recently he and I had the pleasure of dancing together. He had never waltzed before so I got the bright idea to teach him. And oh, what the Lord revealed to me during this dance. We went through the steps, the 1,2,3-1,2,3-1,2,3--etc etc. Then we came together to try it out as partners. Then we put on some music to see if we could keep up. He knew the steps, but since he was still trying to figure things out I kept finding myself trying to lead. Every time I did, we ended up stepping on toes and it was just a hot mess. But, when I stopped trying to control and trusted him to lead as he was intended to do, the dance was beautiful, and easy, and flawless in a way. He twirled me around the room and we had the best time. Life is like a dance you know? You go through a little bit of life learning the steps on your own, and then all of a sudden you find yourself with a partner and somehow have to figure out how to merge the individual steps you had been taking into a beautiful partnership that not only gets you from point A to point B, but eventually is beautifully easy, flawless, and fun! Since Caleb did not know the steps initially, I had to gently guide him into his role as a leader---and this will happen in life too. Sometimes, even the strongest of leading men, does not have a clue where to go or what to do. And it is our job as women to come alongside and gently guide them back to their position as leaders.

When life and relationships and marriages happen this way, it creates a God-honoring, magical dance that others long to be a part of. And that is what marriage was intended to do. Bring glory to God so that when others see the relationship they stop, amazed, and say--I want to be a part of THAT dance.

In Him,
Meg