I am always surprised to see the number of people who view my blogs--especially now that I am off of Facebook and have less of a sufficient method of getting my writings out to the world. Nevertheless, I am blessed by who comes to view all that the Lord is doing in my life, and hopeful you leave this place encouraged and more loved on then before you entered.
If you are a faithful follower you are not clueless as to the very challenging few weeks that I have had. You very well could have been part of the challenge, or maybe a blessing in the midst of trial. Either way, I am still thankful for you, and thankful for how God is using all in my life to stretch and mold and form me for my calling. I have finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel, miracles and blessings and provision like none other--and it all started Wednesday of last week, when the holy spirit intervened and brought me face to face with one of my biggest challenges.
I encountered someone who has hurt me very deeply and been a large part of the source of my pain the past couple of months. Many have been praying for a miracle and lots of changes of heart all around, and I truly believe that we might have been given one. I left the encounter lighter and more full of peace and joy then I had been in months. I was reminded of the Lord's faithfulness. He called me somewhere specific and when I started walking that road, it was by far harder then I could have ever imagined. But He chose me, and I listened, and chose to respond. In my last blog I believe I wrote about standing outside and through tears begging God, where are You in this!?? His response....."I'm right here. I've never left your side, even when you could not feel Me near. I am here. You are My child and I will take care of you. So be still, and know. I am here."
And boy, is He HERE!!! After the miraculous encounter I felt like I could do anything. For the first time in so long I was so happy I could fly! My spirit was soaring at God's goodness and the true transforming power of the Holy Spirit! My amazing fiance and I decided to celebrate (and by celebrate, I mean get back down to business knocking off many stressful things on our To Do list!) We were finally ready to buy our first car together (mine had broken down months ago and I was in a borrowed car that did not fit our family--another huge source of stress). We took off Saturday morning and had many routes we could have chosen that all lead to a new vehicle. We chose the Searcy, Jacksonville, Little Rock route. But, after driving a dud in Searcy and another dud in Jacksonville, we decided the Holy Spirit was leading us elsewhere. So right then and there we decided to take the 5 hour trip to Forsythe, Missouri and check out a beautiful 2000 White Durango that was calling our name...via Craigslist.
On the way, we found some favor (that my roommate was so graciously praying over us the whole time we were gone) and we encountered a TACO BUENO! (yes folks, it's the little things in life). After a long journey we finally made it to Forsythe, right above Branson, where we met Mr. Neil. A burly mechanic/car dealer with a smile of love and a heart of gold. We drove the Durango, with the sticker price of $3500 (well over $1000 over our budget) and I fell in love! My husband-to-be was a little more hesitant, probably thinking it was too good to be true! After the test drive, we were able to get Mr. Neil down from $3500 to $1900 (my fiance says is a true testament that if you stare at someone awkwardly and silently enough the dollars start to melt away from the bottom line). I still believe that he was an angel, and truly felt the Lord asking him to cut us a break after all that we had been through so far to get to this point. Mr. Neil was INSISTENT that we get married that night and to most certainly make sure to call him if we did (for those of you wondering, we DID NOT get married in Branson but we are definitely planning on inviting Mr. Neil to the wedding in August!).
With our leftover money we were able to afford a nice dinner at Dixie Stampede, where we found more favor on the sold out holiday weekend when we were the only ones with waiting passes and were able to scoop up 2 extra seats on the third row. We did not have the intentions of staying in Branson but mountain altitude mixed with horrible allergies made for one Meg who was totally unable to drive the 4 hours home at 10pm. Upon another bout of favor, my charming love talked a hotel manager into letting us stay in a room for less than asking price. The next morning we celebrated our new car with hot Krispy Kreme donuts and a trip to an antique store where we bought a set of vintage 50th wedding anniversary salt and pepper shakers (to commemorate the trip and to pass down to one of our kids with the funny story of the first time we bought a car together!)
Before our trip home I told my fiance that I wanted a picture of us in front of a scenic overlook so if he came upon one then to stop (because I was following him in the new car), but if he passed it then to just keep going. Well, needless to say, he passed one and turned around. I was hesitant on going backwards because I was so ready to be home but so glad that we decided to go back, because that is where we met our new Canadian friends, Mr. Brian White and Mrs. Penny White. They were traveling the United States in their home in a van (it is literally a van-sized motor home that is super old and gets great gas mileage!) They were from Ontario and decided to travel the summer to celebrate their 47th wedding anniversary --and if you're wondering, we may or may not be deciding to pay them a visit in 3 years with a pair of 50th wedding anniversary salt and pepper shakers ;) We took pictures and exchanged email, and left feeling so honored to have added them to the collection of people we have gotten to love on and who have loved on us throughout our journey together as almost husband and wife.
After what seemed like endless driving through mountains and around turns and curves of every shape and size, we hit a patch of flat road just briefly enough to see a roadrunner pass in front of us. This part of the story is important in understanding the spiritual warfare that is surrounding a blessed union that brings honor to the Lord. My love texted me "did you see that roadrunner?" and for the next hour I attempted messaging and calling him back, each time ending in failure. I had full service, and my texts were going through as were my calls, but for whatever reason, he was no longer receiving them. Everything in me began stressing which turned to small panic, for with no way to get a hold of each other there was no way we could stop if necessary for the bathroom or if I got sick or if either car had problems. My joy and peace in the adventure soon turned to fear and anxiety and frustration. When I finally got through to his phone we just so happened to be near a gas station in the middle of this tiny rest stop town which was located very far from any town we had come from and any town we would see again for miles. We took a bathroom break and windshield cleaning break. My love gave me a big giant hug to calm my anxieties of having to drive back alone and feeling now so disconnected. We took off again and no more than a minute later I received a message from him saying "I love you". In my attempts to message him back, my brand new Durango (Darla is her name) and I started running off the road. My tire had come completely off the shoulder and in my attempts to jerk her back up I over-corrected and was left wobbling on all fours to and fro, from lane to lane, for a good minute or so while attempting to regain control. The variables here folks were that we were not only on the curviest roads ever created but we were also descending a mountain, on a two lane, shoulder-less road with thank goodness, no oncoming traffic. I was terrified, as was my Love having to watch it all in his rearview mirror. After regaining control we both pulled off to the side of the road and my hero in the car ahead of me was by my side in an instant. We both cried and praised the Lord for rescuing me out of another what seemed like hopeless situation.
I literally feel like we were stopped dead in our tracks, and reminded to praise God and not be so quick to be frustrated when things don't go our way. My very very wise friend Sarah told me last week (after my miraculous encounter), that I needed to create and alter for this moment and to remember the Lord's faithfulness and fulfillment of His promises. So that next time I am in a dark and hopeless place I can come to this alter and remember that the Lord is here. On the side of the road, on the side of a mountain, 5 minutes from that gas station---I built another alter, thanking the Lord for being there....
....and as my love and I hugged it out, his car overheated and we quickly turned around and headed BACK to that gas station where we had stopped just moments before. What started as a pit stop ended in a trip back and forth from that gas station to the open O'Riley's Auto Parts across the street so my love could repair a cracked hose coming out of his engine. I sat by his side eating Subway and loving on him via words of affirmation as best that I could until an hour later the problem was resolved and we were back on the road again.
As we parted ways I told him how full my cup was. How had I not almost wrecked we would have never stopped and we wouldn't have been near that gas station when his car bit the dust. I told him how I felt like the Lord stopped us dead in our tracks for a reason. He agreed. And as we drove separate cars more than a car length apart for the 2 and a half hour drive home, I felt closer to him then I ever had.
You know how at the end of a big action movie, something blows up and you don't know if the hero or heroine you've been routing for throughout the whole movie is going to make it out alive? And just as the dust starts to settle you see them, walking slowly and dramatically out of the fire, a little bruised, ashes on face, tattered clothes (usually sexier) and most definitely, alive. I felt like that after our weekend adventure....an adventure that really started weeks ago through spiritual attack and anxiety and fear of the unknown future and ended with seeing miracles happen, provision of God's faithfulness, having met some angels along the way who are also routing for good to win, and truly out of the ashes we are walking dramatically with our heads held high (and hopefully sexier than before) and most importantly, we are alive and we are together my love and I. All glory to a God who plants dreams in our hearts and then stands by us as we see them through with His grace.
I hope you leave this blog today feeling more encouraged then ever to praise God and give Him thanks, even through the really hard times. And if you're finding yourself at the end of a tunnel, surrounded by light then you stop and create an alter, praising God for what He's done and always remembering that He is here walking beside us in this journey we call life.
In Him,
Meg
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
A Father's Protection
There are often times in my life where I feel so protected from the evil of this world. I don't see it or hear about it, it doesn't affect me, and it most certainly doesn't interfere with my daily life. There are other times where I see it all, hear it all, and know all about the evil in the world and it affects my little heart times a million. This idea of sometimes feeling shielded and sometimes feeling exposed, made me ponder God and His protection of His children. Like any great dad, I would imagine that God has to balance out the things we don't see for protection of our hearts with the things we do have to experience, for the formation of our character. In my own life, this concept is rearing it's head like no other.
I am marrying the most amazing man on the planet. I am the luckiest human in the world that he chose me and calls me the love of his life. However, like all of us, he comes with baggage. Baggage of 4 children (whom I love and adore like my own), and baggage of a previous marriage (that rips my heart in two every single day). Dealing with dating a previously married man, I have been exposed to a LOT that I normally would not have been. For a long while, we both felt super protected by the Lord and very insulated by the evil we knew was happening around us. Now, we are starting to hear things and see things and experience things that do not make us feel shielded at all, in fact, I've had days where I am sobbing outside looking up at the sky (because that's where God lives of course lol) begging "where did you go??"
My brilliant and amazing fiance told me yesterday that there are just some things we can not be protected from, because there are things we have to go through for character formation and in order to teach us things we need to learn. And that God has in fact, not disappeared, but has already prepared for us to walk through this hard and painful road just as He prepared for us to walk along the amazingly easy and painless one before this. Wow. I am marrying someone a lot smarter then I am :) (and I am TOTALLY ok with that!)
What my fiance said has been sloshing around in my head all night. That idea of being protected by the Lord BOTH when we walk a painless road being protected AND when we walk into the lion's den. Well folks, we are most CERTAINLY in the lion's den (prayers are much appreciated). I believe firmly now that God is using this time for character formation, and growth of our hearts as we are having to deal with people outside of us who are slandering our character, spreading false allegations about us, judging our decisions, and fueling anger and bitterness that are NOT emotions or tools of the Lord. At the end of this time, we are accountable for how we handle the situation and not for how others have treated us. And they will be judged for their sin (aren't we all ready for THAT day!)
There's an old saying or maybe it's a scripture, I don't really remember, but people will often say "God will not give you more then what you can handle"--and it reminds me of a story of a father's protection. My fiance, our kids, and myself, took a family trip to a Redbirds game a couple weekends ago. After leaving the game we made the trek up downtown Memphis to the Parking garage where we parked and through the elevator to get to our level. Coming off the elevator one of our youngest, Sam, saw our car and like a kid in a candy store ran straight for it...about the same time a (most likely drunken) man in a silver sports car of some sort came RACING around the turns of the parking garage descending downward to get out of there (as quick as possible apparently). All I knew to do was scream SAM!!!! to grab his attention and maybe make him run away, but my amazing husband to be just stepped right in front of all of us to shield us from what was potentially coming (and then of course yelled at the idiot driver who endangered the lives of his family).
God is like this I think. Never too far away to shield us from potential danger yet not always holding our hand and keeping us from falling down, making mistakes, and learning some painful lessons in life.
When times are hard, and man have they been hard lately, I am trying to hold on to the truth. The truth is that my upcoming union with this family is GOOD, and PURE, and a symbol of LOVE. It is ordained by God and supported by those also ordained by God. It is wrapped in prayer, and love, and wise council. It is a union created to bring honor and glory to the name of the Lord and to impact the kingdom in BIG ways. It is not of evil. It was not created out of selfish motives or self seeking intentions. Sure, it is judged and mocked and ridiculed (but as persecuted Christians we know in those moments that we are very evidently doing the Lord's true work). He promised us that it would be WORTH it, and definitely NOT easy. And although at times we feel isolated or seeking those to support our decisions, God has in fact supplied us with the exact people we need in our amazing support system. We are not alone. We are not alone. We are not alone. And if all of Jonesboro should turn against us, I know still, that we are not alone and that we have been CHOSEN to do this.
If you're reading this, I hope if nothing else that it just encourages you in your decision making. I used to be a person who strayed from making hard decisions for fear that they would be wrong simply because they would be difficult. And, you miss out on a lot of life by letting fear dictate your path.
In Him,
Meg
I am marrying the most amazing man on the planet. I am the luckiest human in the world that he chose me and calls me the love of his life. However, like all of us, he comes with baggage. Baggage of 4 children (whom I love and adore like my own), and baggage of a previous marriage (that rips my heart in two every single day). Dealing with dating a previously married man, I have been exposed to a LOT that I normally would not have been. For a long while, we both felt super protected by the Lord and very insulated by the evil we knew was happening around us. Now, we are starting to hear things and see things and experience things that do not make us feel shielded at all, in fact, I've had days where I am sobbing outside looking up at the sky (because that's where God lives of course lol) begging "where did you go??"
My brilliant and amazing fiance told me yesterday that there are just some things we can not be protected from, because there are things we have to go through for character formation and in order to teach us things we need to learn. And that God has in fact, not disappeared, but has already prepared for us to walk through this hard and painful road just as He prepared for us to walk along the amazingly easy and painless one before this. Wow. I am marrying someone a lot smarter then I am :) (and I am TOTALLY ok with that!)
What my fiance said has been sloshing around in my head all night. That idea of being protected by the Lord BOTH when we walk a painless road being protected AND when we walk into the lion's den. Well folks, we are most CERTAINLY in the lion's den (prayers are much appreciated). I believe firmly now that God is using this time for character formation, and growth of our hearts as we are having to deal with people outside of us who are slandering our character, spreading false allegations about us, judging our decisions, and fueling anger and bitterness that are NOT emotions or tools of the Lord. At the end of this time, we are accountable for how we handle the situation and not for how others have treated us. And they will be judged for their sin (aren't we all ready for THAT day!)
There's an old saying or maybe it's a scripture, I don't really remember, but people will often say "God will not give you more then what you can handle"--and it reminds me of a story of a father's protection. My fiance, our kids, and myself, took a family trip to a Redbirds game a couple weekends ago. After leaving the game we made the trek up downtown Memphis to the Parking garage where we parked and through the elevator to get to our level. Coming off the elevator one of our youngest, Sam, saw our car and like a kid in a candy store ran straight for it...about the same time a (most likely drunken) man in a silver sports car of some sort came RACING around the turns of the parking garage descending downward to get out of there (as quick as possible apparently). All I knew to do was scream SAM!!!! to grab his attention and maybe make him run away, but my amazing husband to be just stepped right in front of all of us to shield us from what was potentially coming (and then of course yelled at the idiot driver who endangered the lives of his family).
God is like this I think. Never too far away to shield us from potential danger yet not always holding our hand and keeping us from falling down, making mistakes, and learning some painful lessons in life.
When times are hard, and man have they been hard lately, I am trying to hold on to the truth. The truth is that my upcoming union with this family is GOOD, and PURE, and a symbol of LOVE. It is ordained by God and supported by those also ordained by God. It is wrapped in prayer, and love, and wise council. It is a union created to bring honor and glory to the name of the Lord and to impact the kingdom in BIG ways. It is not of evil. It was not created out of selfish motives or self seeking intentions. Sure, it is judged and mocked and ridiculed (but as persecuted Christians we know in those moments that we are very evidently doing the Lord's true work). He promised us that it would be WORTH it, and definitely NOT easy. And although at times we feel isolated or seeking those to support our decisions, God has in fact supplied us with the exact people we need in our amazing support system. We are not alone. We are not alone. We are not alone. And if all of Jonesboro should turn against us, I know still, that we are not alone and that we have been CHOSEN to do this.
If you're reading this, I hope if nothing else that it just encourages you in your decision making. I used to be a person who strayed from making hard decisions for fear that they would be wrong simply because they would be difficult. And, you miss out on a lot of life by letting fear dictate your path.
In Him,
Meg
Monday, April 15, 2013
Come and find your rest in Me....
I have been asked before, "how do you know what God's will is for your life?" Typically, it is asked specifically to me in regards to a life decision I have made. But often times, people generally are seeking to know-not just what God's will is but also, how to find it. It has been my experience after years of searching, lots of meditation and prayer, and tons of wise council, that God has a purpose for all of us. Generally speaking, as Christians, it is 1) to share the story of Jesus with those who might not know the radical Love He has for us, 2) to go out into the world and make disciples of all men, 3) advancing the kingdom of Heaven and spreading His name throughout the land.
But what does that Christianese mean? What does that look like in a tangible way? Does it mean to tithe more money? To attend church twice instead of once a week? Does it mean to donate as much money or time as possible volunteering somewhere? I don't think it means any of those things, unless those things are done with the heart change that is required of God's children. It's funny to me, how walking in alignment with the Lord's plan looks to some people like doing more things, working really hard, and checking off super awesome things off a super awesome list that was given to you by a super awesome Lord. Maybe I am just lazy, but when I find myself walking in direct alignment with something the Lord has prepared for me in advance-I don't find work and to do lists and stress and anxiety and time limits...I find REST. The GREATEST rest I have ever known.
There is something supernatural that occurs when you walk directly in line with something the Lord has prepared. You find holy spirit rest for your soul. You find protection for your spirit that seems to have come out of nowhere. You find communication with God effortless, and the bond between the two of you unbreakable. There's no striving in the rest of God. No struggle to DO more or BE more, but freedom to rest in what He's already DONE and endless Grace to just BE.
There is one song on this planet that describes and offers the type of rest my soul gets when I am super enveloped in the Holy Spirit, and that is "My Beloved" by Kari Jobe.
"You're my beloved, you're my bride. To sing over you is my delight. Come away with me my love. Under my mercy come and wait, til we are standing face to face. I see no stain on you, My child. You're beautiful to Me. I sing over you My song of peace. Cast all your cares down at my feet, come and find your rest in Me. I'll breathe my life inside of you. I'll lift you up on eagle's wings. And hide you in the shadow of My strength. I'll take you to My quiet waters, I'll restore your soul. Come rest in me and be made whole."
My Beloved
Will following God's will always be easy? No, it won't. And nobody ever promised that it would be. But it is worth it. You will be criticized, judged, persecuted. People who appeared to love you will mock you. People you don't know will talk badly about you. People who never took the time to invest into your heart and your life will fade into the background. But the beautiful thing about all of the difficulty, is that you are STILL following God's will. He is still there, protecting you and loving you more than you will EVER know. And the dreams you once had for yourself start to be transformed into something you could never dream up or imagine for yourself. New relationships will be discovered and strengthened, starting with a pure foundation of love and grace. Friends will emerge from places you never realized they were hiding, and they will love you unconditionally--because they know you're heart. They will trust you when you tell them, "this is what the Lord has told me to do", then they will love you, support you, and see Jesus because of the way you have decided to follow Him.
There is nothing more beautiful in this world then being set apart for holy service--and that is what sanctification is all about. I encourage you to look at your life, your to-do lists, your check lists, your weekly planner and calendar of events, and reflect on if there is any rest happening while doing all of this work for the Lord. He wants us, His precious and treasured children, to always know His love, His grace, and always walk in the life He has created for us long before we ever appeared on this earth. And when you do that friends, I promise you, your world will be forever CHANGED.
In Him,
Meg
But what does that Christianese mean? What does that look like in a tangible way? Does it mean to tithe more money? To attend church twice instead of once a week? Does it mean to donate as much money or time as possible volunteering somewhere? I don't think it means any of those things, unless those things are done with the heart change that is required of God's children. It's funny to me, how walking in alignment with the Lord's plan looks to some people like doing more things, working really hard, and checking off super awesome things off a super awesome list that was given to you by a super awesome Lord. Maybe I am just lazy, but when I find myself walking in direct alignment with something the Lord has prepared for me in advance-I don't find work and to do lists and stress and anxiety and time limits...I find REST. The GREATEST rest I have ever known.
There is something supernatural that occurs when you walk directly in line with something the Lord has prepared. You find holy spirit rest for your soul. You find protection for your spirit that seems to have come out of nowhere. You find communication with God effortless, and the bond between the two of you unbreakable. There's no striving in the rest of God. No struggle to DO more or BE more, but freedom to rest in what He's already DONE and endless Grace to just BE.
There is one song on this planet that describes and offers the type of rest my soul gets when I am super enveloped in the Holy Spirit, and that is "My Beloved" by Kari Jobe.
"You're my beloved, you're my bride. To sing over you is my delight. Come away with me my love. Under my mercy come and wait, til we are standing face to face. I see no stain on you, My child. You're beautiful to Me. I sing over you My song of peace. Cast all your cares down at my feet, come and find your rest in Me. I'll breathe my life inside of you. I'll lift you up on eagle's wings. And hide you in the shadow of My strength. I'll take you to My quiet waters, I'll restore your soul. Come rest in me and be made whole."
My Beloved
Will following God's will always be easy? No, it won't. And nobody ever promised that it would be. But it is worth it. You will be criticized, judged, persecuted. People who appeared to love you will mock you. People you don't know will talk badly about you. People who never took the time to invest into your heart and your life will fade into the background. But the beautiful thing about all of the difficulty, is that you are STILL following God's will. He is still there, protecting you and loving you more than you will EVER know. And the dreams you once had for yourself start to be transformed into something you could never dream up or imagine for yourself. New relationships will be discovered and strengthened, starting with a pure foundation of love and grace. Friends will emerge from places you never realized they were hiding, and they will love you unconditionally--because they know you're heart. They will trust you when you tell them, "this is what the Lord has told me to do", then they will love you, support you, and see Jesus because of the way you have decided to follow Him.
There is nothing more beautiful in this world then being set apart for holy service--and that is what sanctification is all about. I encourage you to look at your life, your to-do lists, your check lists, your weekly planner and calendar of events, and reflect on if there is any rest happening while doing all of this work for the Lord. He wants us, His precious and treasured children, to always know His love, His grace, and always walk in the life He has created for us long before we ever appeared on this earth. And when you do that friends, I promise you, your world will be forever CHANGED.
In Him,
Meg
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Dancing through Brokenness
"I'm broken right now, but I still dance"--Kid President
Many months ago, the Lord spoke directly to my little spirit that my next season would be one of intense healing.
"Healing from what?" I asked.
"You'll see" He said.
Over the next several weeks, life for me changed in big ways. When the Lord promised healing, I knew that my next season would not be one of skipping through a field of wildflowers, holding Jesus' hand and singing "la, la, la, la, lalala." Nope. I knew it would be hard, and probably not fun at times. But I was promised it would be worth it, and His promises I believe. Little did I know, that this spiritual healing and recognition would come through what seemed to be consistent physical brokenness.
Over the course of 2013 so far, I have not been dealt an amazing hands at the game we call life. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism on New Years Eve Day and only a few days after that was told that the immense pain I had been experiencing for over a year was Fibromyalgia, which paired alongside a thyroid that doesn't work well--was no fun. A week after that I ended up having to have a wisdom tooth removed due to a serious infection that limited mobility in my mouth and caused even more severe pain. With the surgery came more jaw bone then they expected and my recovery was longer and harder than expected. Rebounding from surgery and all over pain, I lost one of my jobs which unfortunately was the one providing 70% or more of my monthly income. A few weeks later, I contracted the oh so heinous stomach bug. A few weeks after that leads us up to now, when last night on the way home from work my car bit the eternal dust and Mariah Camry as we called her, sang her last song forever.
Sometimes, when people go through a season where they can't seem to catch a break--it can take what seems like forever for them to see the lessons God had intended for them through each situation. Thankfully, I was listening, and He revealed to me long before this time in my life that I would be going through a time of healing. Crazily enough, the physical brokenness is providing spiritual healing like you wouldn't believe. Through every trial and every circumstance, the Lord reveals more and more to me. Sin that I struggle with and the root of why. Things in my past that I never knew happened or never realized I needed to be healed from. He is even showing me glimpses of what is in store if I faithfully walk this path with Him now.
Everything happens for a reason they say, but it is true. The diagnosis of the things happening inside my body are not a curse--it is a blessing to finally know what is happening, and how to manage the pain a little better. Sure, there is no cure for FMS but there are ways to manage it. And if I stand in the healing that is always offered by the Lord I am certain I will be cured. The wisdom tooth and jaw removal, although a horrifying experience, has helped rid the pain I have had for years caused by TMJ (which is the rubbing together of excess jaw bone)! Even down to the car situation---I woke up today with more faith then ever that the Lord would provide. I concocted a photography deal and had a goal of raising $1000 (pledged) in the next week or two. I raised $1200 pledged in less than 3 hours AND potentially found a new car with the help and dedication of some of the most amazing angels on earth I get to call friends/family--or shall I say, the LORD did all of that. He is preparing these things for me and I am simply walking through them. I was telling a friend today, I would not wish this mishap on anyone but I most certainly wish for anyone and everyone to have the kind of experiences I have had where essentially I have had nothing and see the Lord provide everything I need in that situation, and more!
Have you ever gone through a haunted house as a kid, maybe with a parent or older sibling. You know you have to go because one its Halloween and it's expected, but also the experience you know you will have because you are promised something upon deciding to go through. As little kids, we hold tightly to our parent's hand, stay real close, hold our head down and close our eyes---every now and then peeking through just to see what we are missing. That is how I feel this season. Just like with the haunted house, we are promised we will get out alive--I know this season won't kill me. So I am clinging tight to my Father's hand, closing my eyes (while still soaking up the healing and learning lessons that He needs me to), and walking close to Him until this Haunted House that is my life this season, is finally over. At the end you are always glad you did it, proud you accomplished that you could do it (with God of course), and then ready to get the heck out of there!
One of the things I have learned this season, is to dance through the brokenness. Below is a video of the story of Kid President. If you haven't heard of this kid, then do yourselves a favor and watch him. His spirit is contagious and you can not watch and remain unchanged.
Story of Kid President
So today, I am on my face praising sweet Jesus for His constant provision. I am rejoicing for His promises being fulfilled, even the hard ones, I know He is forever faithful. And I encourage you to listen to the Lord today and find those things your struggling with in this season and watch God faithfully show you what it's all for. We all have times of brokenness, but as kid president says "I'm broken right now, but I still dance!"
Will you choose to dance with the Lord?
In Him,
Meg
Many months ago, the Lord spoke directly to my little spirit that my next season would be one of intense healing.
"Healing from what?" I asked.
"You'll see" He said.
Over the next several weeks, life for me changed in big ways. When the Lord promised healing, I knew that my next season would not be one of skipping through a field of wildflowers, holding Jesus' hand and singing "la, la, la, la, lalala." Nope. I knew it would be hard, and probably not fun at times. But I was promised it would be worth it, and His promises I believe. Little did I know, that this spiritual healing and recognition would come through what seemed to be consistent physical brokenness.
Over the course of 2013 so far, I have not been dealt an amazing hands at the game we call life. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism on New Years Eve Day and only a few days after that was told that the immense pain I had been experiencing for over a year was Fibromyalgia, which paired alongside a thyroid that doesn't work well--was no fun. A week after that I ended up having to have a wisdom tooth removed due to a serious infection that limited mobility in my mouth and caused even more severe pain. With the surgery came more jaw bone then they expected and my recovery was longer and harder than expected. Rebounding from surgery and all over pain, I lost one of my jobs which unfortunately was the one providing 70% or more of my monthly income. A few weeks later, I contracted the oh so heinous stomach bug. A few weeks after that leads us up to now, when last night on the way home from work my car bit the eternal dust and Mariah Camry as we called her, sang her last song forever.
Sometimes, when people go through a season where they can't seem to catch a break--it can take what seems like forever for them to see the lessons God had intended for them through each situation. Thankfully, I was listening, and He revealed to me long before this time in my life that I would be going through a time of healing. Crazily enough, the physical brokenness is providing spiritual healing like you wouldn't believe. Through every trial and every circumstance, the Lord reveals more and more to me. Sin that I struggle with and the root of why. Things in my past that I never knew happened or never realized I needed to be healed from. He is even showing me glimpses of what is in store if I faithfully walk this path with Him now.
Everything happens for a reason they say, but it is true. The diagnosis of the things happening inside my body are not a curse--it is a blessing to finally know what is happening, and how to manage the pain a little better. Sure, there is no cure for FMS but there are ways to manage it. And if I stand in the healing that is always offered by the Lord I am certain I will be cured. The wisdom tooth and jaw removal, although a horrifying experience, has helped rid the pain I have had for years caused by TMJ (which is the rubbing together of excess jaw bone)! Even down to the car situation---I woke up today with more faith then ever that the Lord would provide. I concocted a photography deal and had a goal of raising $1000 (pledged) in the next week or two. I raised $1200 pledged in less than 3 hours AND potentially found a new car with the help and dedication of some of the most amazing angels on earth I get to call friends/family--or shall I say, the LORD did all of that. He is preparing these things for me and I am simply walking through them. I was telling a friend today, I would not wish this mishap on anyone but I most certainly wish for anyone and everyone to have the kind of experiences I have had where essentially I have had nothing and see the Lord provide everything I need in that situation, and more!
Have you ever gone through a haunted house as a kid, maybe with a parent or older sibling. You know you have to go because one its Halloween and it's expected, but also the experience you know you will have because you are promised something upon deciding to go through. As little kids, we hold tightly to our parent's hand, stay real close, hold our head down and close our eyes---every now and then peeking through just to see what we are missing. That is how I feel this season. Just like with the haunted house, we are promised we will get out alive--I know this season won't kill me. So I am clinging tight to my Father's hand, closing my eyes (while still soaking up the healing and learning lessons that He needs me to), and walking close to Him until this Haunted House that is my life this season, is finally over. At the end you are always glad you did it, proud you accomplished that you could do it (with God of course), and then ready to get the heck out of there!
One of the things I have learned this season, is to dance through the brokenness. Below is a video of the story of Kid President. If you haven't heard of this kid, then do yourselves a favor and watch him. His spirit is contagious and you can not watch and remain unchanged.
Story of Kid President
So today, I am on my face praising sweet Jesus for His constant provision. I am rejoicing for His promises being fulfilled, even the hard ones, I know He is forever faithful. And I encourage you to listen to the Lord today and find those things your struggling with in this season and watch God faithfully show you what it's all for. We all have times of brokenness, but as kid president says "I'm broken right now, but I still dance!"
Will you choose to dance with the Lord?
In Him,
Meg
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Where you lead....
Wow, it's been a very long time since I have blogged. I feel like a nervous middle school girl asking a boy she likes to awkwardly go to the spring dance--how do i do this!?? haha I imagine I'll muddle through as always, and hopefully you choose to stick around and witness the fun.
Over the past few months there has been SO much that's happened, so many revelations to share, and so much has changed. There was a lot I intended to blog about, some never made it past the drafts section, and there's a lot I am still processing and hopefully the Lord will piece together soon the message He wants me to deliver soon. Oddly enough, this is the one that has made it to "past the drafts" section in my little mind--and for no other reason except for the fact that the thought is fully developed enough to write about. Again, this is all the Lord's cultivating--I am simply farming the fields and open to His message. Don't shoot the messenger.
Since 2013 rolled around, I have been sick or physically unwell with some random something or another. The very first week of 2013 I was diagnosed with having hypothyroidism and fibromyalgia. I was fighting hard some infections that were not going anywhere and basically for the whole month of December, after teddy bears, teaching, and nannying--I was on a couch, in pain. Upon taking some new (herbal of course) medication I started feeling better and then quickly was hit hard with a bad gum infection caused by a wisdom tooth that needed to be removed. Along with the tooth came a little jaw bone, and the recovery was much longer and much more excruciating then initially estimated. After that there were a couple of weeks I felt good with the exception of FMS attacks, and then--shock--the dreaded stomach virus. So needless to say, I have spent a lot of time in a bed or on a couch in 2013, recovering. And during this recovery I watched a lot of Netflix---particularly old episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8 ((this is where the blog actually starts)).
Watching this show from the beginning, and seeing the downward spiral of two people who at one point very much loved each other, was eye opening. I have been observing marriages for a very very long time. Taking note of the system that is a marriage, the things people do within one to glorify God or choose to glorify one another. The fight and struggle, as well as the victories and celebrations. And most intently--the attack of the enemy. What I witness from Jon and Kate as well as those around me is this bold statement--The true attack of the enemy comes in the form of creating men to be complacent as passive fathers who never step up to take lead of their family which in turn creates aggressive women who feel the need to lead and control a situation that was never designed to be theirs to lead. Both parties experience resentment, anger, bitterness,etc. This creates distance, dissonance, dishonest behavior, and divorce.
In the book, Wild at Heart, author John Eldridge says this:
"Let me ask you a question: Where is Adam while the serpent is tempting Eve? He's standing right there: 'She also gave some to her husband, who was with her and he ate it' (3:6). The Hebrew for "with her" means right there, elbow to elbow. Adam isn't away in another part of the forest; he has no alibi. He is standing right there, watching the whole thing unravel. What does he do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He says not a word, doesn't lift a finger. He won't risk, he won't fight, he won't rescue Eve. Our first father--the first real man--gave in to paralysis. He denied his very nature and went passive. And every man after him, every son of Adam, carries in his heart now the same failure. Every man repeats the sin of Adam, everyday. We won't risk, we won't fight, and we won't rescue Eve. We are truly a chip off the old block."
He and His wife Stasi go on to write in their book, Love and War:
When a man goes bad, as every man has in some way gone bad after the Fall, what is most deeply marred is his strength. He either becomes a passive weak man-strength surrendered--or he becomes a violent, driven man--strength unglued. When a woman falls from grace, what is most deeply marred is her tender vulnerability, beauty that invites to life. She becomes a dominating, controlling woman--or a desolate, needy, mousy woman. Or some odd combination of both, depending on her circumstance.
We as women are given the privilege of being the crown of all creation. The figure that invites life to happen within us and all around us. Men are leaders and keepers of the earth, head of the household and drawn to the adventure that is truly loving a woman. When the design and intention of male and female get mixed up or lost, we then become flowers who are trying to fly, birds who are trying to swim, and trees that are trying to run. We are going against all that we were created and designed to do. And we wonder why our marriages are failing?
I have a wonderful friend named Caleb, and recently he and I had the pleasure of dancing together. He had never waltzed before so I got the bright idea to teach him. And oh, what the Lord revealed to me during this dance. We went through the steps, the 1,2,3-1,2,3-1,2,3--etc etc. Then we came together to try it out as partners. Then we put on some music to see if we could keep up. He knew the steps, but since he was still trying to figure things out I kept finding myself trying to lead. Every time I did, we ended up stepping on toes and it was just a hot mess. But, when I stopped trying to control and trusted him to lead as he was intended to do, the dance was beautiful, and easy, and flawless in a way. He twirled me around the room and we had the best time. Life is like a dance you know? You go through a little bit of life learning the steps on your own, and then all of a sudden you find yourself with a partner and somehow have to figure out how to merge the individual steps you had been taking into a beautiful partnership that not only gets you from point A to point B, but eventually is beautifully easy, flawless, and fun! Since Caleb did not know the steps initially, I had to gently guide him into his role as a leader---and this will happen in life too. Sometimes, even the strongest of leading men, does not have a clue where to go or what to do. And it is our job as women to come alongside and gently guide them back to their position as leaders.
When life and relationships and marriages happen this way, it creates a God-honoring, magical dance that others long to be a part of. And that is what marriage was intended to do. Bring glory to God so that when others see the relationship they stop, amazed, and say--I want to be a part of THAT dance.
In Him,
Meg
Over the past few months there has been SO much that's happened, so many revelations to share, and so much has changed. There was a lot I intended to blog about, some never made it past the drafts section, and there's a lot I am still processing and hopefully the Lord will piece together soon the message He wants me to deliver soon. Oddly enough, this is the one that has made it to "past the drafts" section in my little mind--and for no other reason except for the fact that the thought is fully developed enough to write about. Again, this is all the Lord's cultivating--I am simply farming the fields and open to His message. Don't shoot the messenger.
Since 2013 rolled around, I have been sick or physically unwell with some random something or another. The very first week of 2013 I was diagnosed with having hypothyroidism and fibromyalgia. I was fighting hard some infections that were not going anywhere and basically for the whole month of December, after teddy bears, teaching, and nannying--I was on a couch, in pain. Upon taking some new (herbal of course) medication I started feeling better and then quickly was hit hard with a bad gum infection caused by a wisdom tooth that needed to be removed. Along with the tooth came a little jaw bone, and the recovery was much longer and much more excruciating then initially estimated. After that there were a couple of weeks I felt good with the exception of FMS attacks, and then--shock--the dreaded stomach virus. So needless to say, I have spent a lot of time in a bed or on a couch in 2013, recovering. And during this recovery I watched a lot of Netflix---particularly old episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8 ((this is where the blog actually starts)).
Watching this show from the beginning, and seeing the downward spiral of two people who at one point very much loved each other, was eye opening. I have been observing marriages for a very very long time. Taking note of the system that is a marriage, the things people do within one to glorify God or choose to glorify one another. The fight and struggle, as well as the victories and celebrations. And most intently--the attack of the enemy. What I witness from Jon and Kate as well as those around me is this bold statement--The true attack of the enemy comes in the form of creating men to be complacent as passive fathers who never step up to take lead of their family which in turn creates aggressive women who feel the need to lead and control a situation that was never designed to be theirs to lead. Both parties experience resentment, anger, bitterness,etc. This creates distance, dissonance, dishonest behavior, and divorce.
In the book, Wild at Heart, author John Eldridge says this:
"Let me ask you a question: Where is Adam while the serpent is tempting Eve? He's standing right there: 'She also gave some to her husband, who was with her and he ate it' (3:6). The Hebrew for "with her" means right there, elbow to elbow. Adam isn't away in another part of the forest; he has no alibi. He is standing right there, watching the whole thing unravel. What does he do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He says not a word, doesn't lift a finger. He won't risk, he won't fight, he won't rescue Eve. Our first father--the first real man--gave in to paralysis. He denied his very nature and went passive. And every man after him, every son of Adam, carries in his heart now the same failure. Every man repeats the sin of Adam, everyday. We won't risk, we won't fight, and we won't rescue Eve. We are truly a chip off the old block."
He and His wife Stasi go on to write in their book, Love and War:
When a man goes bad, as every man has in some way gone bad after the Fall, what is most deeply marred is his strength. He either becomes a passive weak man-strength surrendered--or he becomes a violent, driven man--strength unglued. When a woman falls from grace, what is most deeply marred is her tender vulnerability, beauty that invites to life. She becomes a dominating, controlling woman--or a desolate, needy, mousy woman. Or some odd combination of both, depending on her circumstance.
We as women are given the privilege of being the crown of all creation. The figure that invites life to happen within us and all around us. Men are leaders and keepers of the earth, head of the household and drawn to the adventure that is truly loving a woman. When the design and intention of male and female get mixed up or lost, we then become flowers who are trying to fly, birds who are trying to swim, and trees that are trying to run. We are going against all that we were created and designed to do. And we wonder why our marriages are failing?
I have a wonderful friend named Caleb, and recently he and I had the pleasure of dancing together. He had never waltzed before so I got the bright idea to teach him. And oh, what the Lord revealed to me during this dance. We went through the steps, the 1,2,3-1,2,3-1,2,3--etc etc. Then we came together to try it out as partners. Then we put on some music to see if we could keep up. He knew the steps, but since he was still trying to figure things out I kept finding myself trying to lead. Every time I did, we ended up stepping on toes and it was just a hot mess. But, when I stopped trying to control and trusted him to lead as he was intended to do, the dance was beautiful, and easy, and flawless in a way. He twirled me around the room and we had the best time. Life is like a dance you know? You go through a little bit of life learning the steps on your own, and then all of a sudden you find yourself with a partner and somehow have to figure out how to merge the individual steps you had been taking into a beautiful partnership that not only gets you from point A to point B, but eventually is beautifully easy, flawless, and fun! Since Caleb did not know the steps initially, I had to gently guide him into his role as a leader---and this will happen in life too. Sometimes, even the strongest of leading men, does not have a clue where to go or what to do. And it is our job as women to come alongside and gently guide them back to their position as leaders.
When life and relationships and marriages happen this way, it creates a God-honoring, magical dance that others long to be a part of. And that is what marriage was intended to do. Bring glory to God so that when others see the relationship they stop, amazed, and say--I want to be a part of THAT dance.
In Him,
Meg
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Something Worth Fighting For
Those of you who know me personally are not surprised that so much time lapses between my blogs on occasion. I assure you, I have a notes section in my phone full of things I can't wait to share with you all, but with the craziness of life also comes a huge time restraint. However, I feel so passionate about getting my next thoughts down on paper that I know it will not be another idea or lesson that sits untouched in my phone. This one matters.
This morning I was sick so did not attend church. I did though, have an AMAZING morning with the Lord. Basking in His unconditional love for me, His grace, and through knowing and accepting those two things, His healing as well. I woke up a second time feeling rejuvenated beyond belief! If you know me and the health struggles I have had the last few weeks you will share in my praise to God for a morning of energy and healing and peace! I did not start my morning out thinking I was going to intentionally spend time with the Lord--but don't you know Him and His constant pursing of our hearts, that a morning with Him is exactly what I got.
Needing some background noise I turned on Netflix and clicked on the first movie it recommended for me, which happened to be Fireproof. Assuming I would fall back asleep, it didn't matter to me really what was on. I had never seen Fireproof except 10 minutes of the beginning in a movie theater long before I knew Christ. And the acting was so off-putting to me at the time that I just walked out and snuck into another theater (again, I did not know the Lord haha). But today was different, seeing things with different eyes (my Jesus Goggles as I've been known to refer to them), every message of love and grace and redemption and healing in the movie screamed loud and clear. My heart was overwhelmed at the end with this JOY and LOVE GOO haha. So, instead of tearing the movie a part for some poor casting choices, I have a new respect of the symbolism and the meaning behind this film. And, although I am several years late to the Fireproof party--I would love to share with you some of the things that touched me the most.
One of my favorite images of this film is when Caleb is pulling a little girl out of the burning house. His fierce drive and determination not to let her family down or give up on saving this little girl's life, is basically what the whole movie is about. Not letting go or giving up on love, because it's worth fighting for and worth saving. Always. This character was so quick to jump in and rescue people in burning buildings but when it came to his own life and his marriage, he was quicker to just give up and walk away. Until he realized what true love is, and then realized that you never leave your partner in a burning building. Then he fought like crazy to rescue his love. There is another picture I love, after Caleb has realized his desire to fight for his marriage. His wife is sick, and he brings her food. He checks her temperature. He is by her side, regardless of the fact that she doesn't really want him there and regardless of the fact that in that moment he was getting nothing in return. But instead, unconditionally loving her. I kept hearing the words, "for better or worse" while watching this scene, and so humbled at his changed heart toward his wife.
In that same scene, he gets on his knees, and with tears in his eyes-he asks for her forgiveness, and tells her how sorry he is for all that he has done and the many ways he has wronged her. This act of seeking forgiveness and righting wrongs was relevant throughout the film as Caleb later did this with his mother. Seeing him looking into their eyes and really seeking forgiveness for how he has hurt them was again, humbling and so moving to see.
Caleb's father played a significant role in this movie--he was the one who sent him the Love Dare, he was the one who continuously rooted for and prayed for his marriage, and he was there during his conversation at the cross. Physically they are at a wooden cross but also spiritually, they have the conversation that leads to Caleb's decision to follow Christ and surrender his life over to God. So in the end, when Caleb and Katherine's marriage is reconciled, there is a small scene you see where the dad gets the phone call and rejoices for his son. In that moment, I knew that's exactly what our Heavenly Father does too. Rejoices for our decisions to love, to stay, to fight, and to be honorable in our relationships to bring glory to the Father.
I was in tears almost the entire movie, and although I am not married, I dropped to the floor and prayed after it was over--for a man whose heart is taken by the Lord. For a man who will lead me closer to the cross each day we are together. For a man who will fight for our marriage always, and always seek to be an honorable man who loves me because he knows how much he is loved by our Father.
If you haven't seen the movie, I definitely recommend you to do so. And after it is over, drop to your knees and share with Papa what He knows is already on your heart. Then bask in his love and healing. Lastly, spread the love goo that you are receiving from sweet baby Jesus to everyone you encounter!!!
Light and Love,
Meg
"Love is a shelter
This morning I was sick so did not attend church. I did though, have an AMAZING morning with the Lord. Basking in His unconditional love for me, His grace, and through knowing and accepting those two things, His healing as well. I woke up a second time feeling rejuvenated beyond belief! If you know me and the health struggles I have had the last few weeks you will share in my praise to God for a morning of energy and healing and peace! I did not start my morning out thinking I was going to intentionally spend time with the Lord--but don't you know Him and His constant pursing of our hearts, that a morning with Him is exactly what I got.
Needing some background noise I turned on Netflix and clicked on the first movie it recommended for me, which happened to be Fireproof. Assuming I would fall back asleep, it didn't matter to me really what was on. I had never seen Fireproof except 10 minutes of the beginning in a movie theater long before I knew Christ. And the acting was so off-putting to me at the time that I just walked out and snuck into another theater (again, I did not know the Lord haha). But today was different, seeing things with different eyes (my Jesus Goggles as I've been known to refer to them), every message of love and grace and redemption and healing in the movie screamed loud and clear. My heart was overwhelmed at the end with this JOY and LOVE GOO haha. So, instead of tearing the movie a part for some poor casting choices, I have a new respect of the symbolism and the meaning behind this film. And, although I am several years late to the Fireproof party--I would love to share with you some of the things that touched me the most.
One of my favorite images of this film is when Caleb is pulling a little girl out of the burning house. His fierce drive and determination not to let her family down or give up on saving this little girl's life, is basically what the whole movie is about. Not letting go or giving up on love, because it's worth fighting for and worth saving. Always. This character was so quick to jump in and rescue people in burning buildings but when it came to his own life and his marriage, he was quicker to just give up and walk away. Until he realized what true love is, and then realized that you never leave your partner in a burning building. Then he fought like crazy to rescue his love. There is another picture I love, after Caleb has realized his desire to fight for his marriage. His wife is sick, and he brings her food. He checks her temperature. He is by her side, regardless of the fact that she doesn't really want him there and regardless of the fact that in that moment he was getting nothing in return. But instead, unconditionally loving her. I kept hearing the words, "for better or worse" while watching this scene, and so humbled at his changed heart toward his wife.
In that same scene, he gets on his knees, and with tears in his eyes-he asks for her forgiveness, and tells her how sorry he is for all that he has done and the many ways he has wronged her. This act of seeking forgiveness and righting wrongs was relevant throughout the film as Caleb later did this with his mother. Seeing him looking into their eyes and really seeking forgiveness for how he has hurt them was again, humbling and so moving to see.
Caleb's father played a significant role in this movie--he was the one who sent him the Love Dare, he was the one who continuously rooted for and prayed for his marriage, and he was there during his conversation at the cross. Physically they are at a wooden cross but also spiritually, they have the conversation that leads to Caleb's decision to follow Christ and surrender his life over to God. So in the end, when Caleb and Katherine's marriage is reconciled, there is a small scene you see where the dad gets the phone call and rejoices for his son. In that moment, I knew that's exactly what our Heavenly Father does too. Rejoices for our decisions to love, to stay, to fight, and to be honorable in our relationships to bring glory to the Father.
I was in tears almost the entire movie, and although I am not married, I dropped to the floor and prayed after it was over--for a man whose heart is taken by the Lord. For a man who will lead me closer to the cross each day we are together. For a man who will fight for our marriage always, and always seek to be an honorable man who loves me because he knows how much he is loved by our Father.
If you haven't seen the movie, I definitely recommend you to do so. And after it is over, drop to your knees and share with Papa what He knows is already on your heart. Then bask in his love and healing. Lastly, spread the love goo that you are receiving from sweet baby Jesus to everyone you encounter!!!
Light and Love,
Meg
"Love is a shelter
In a raging storm
Love is peace
In the middle of a war
And if we try to leave;
May God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight
But it's something worth fighting for"
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