Praying for Our Kids

Throughout the past several years, my life has revolved around being involved in the lives of young people. Whether I have been their nanny or babysitter, their teacher, their ride home from school, their mentor or friend, their sister or fill in the blank, I have encountered many lives. My goal with these kids, is to invest in their lives so that they always know they have someone in their lives they can go to for anything. I was deprived of that as a young girl, with the exception of my older sister, and therefore turned to boyfriends for comfort (a habit that carried into young adulthood and put me in situations where I was counting on these men to "save" me).

The things that these young girls talk about after school is enough to appall any human on the planet. The horror that is being a teenager and going to public school with other teenagers. They talk about how they are teased or bullied, how their friends tell dirty vulgar jokes, how this person cried or this person got in a fight, and the list goes on and on. Some parents chalk it up to, well they're just being teenagers. But isn't being a Christian teen the same thing as being a Christian adult? We are called to a MUCH higher standard of living, so much so that by behavior alone the world should look at us and know we are not of the world.

I had a young girl come to me yesterday, in tears and so upset, because of the things going on in her school. Her friends are talking about sex constantly and her guy friends are sexually teasing the girls, including her. She was so upset she went to her mother, who then in turn went to the school with the issue. Now, this young girl's friends are teasing her about overreacting. Even her very best girl friend came to her and said, "I am with (the young boy's name) on this one. You are making a huge deal about nothing!" and walked off.

It takes courage to stand up for what is right. Whether you are a 15 year old girl, or a 40 year old man. Doing what is right, and not following the crowd, is not easy. I am SO proud of this young girl for fighting for purity and being wholesome. However, my heart broke for her when she told me the story. Because Satan does not make it easy to be a Christian teen in school, surrounded by teens who maybe don't care right now whether they are following Christ or not.

I feel like as parents of pre-teens and teens, as well as teachers and friends and anyone who comes in contact with them really, we should be in constant supervision of how our kiddos are acting, what they are being taught, who they are hanging around with as well as what the family of their friends believe. Their influences need to be positive, and they need to know that it is OK doing what's right.

Children won't see persecution as a blessing. They see it as the end of life as they know it. Because it is hard walking into a place where you don't belong, where people are talking badly about you or teasing you, a place where you don't feel comfortable being yourself. I encourage all of the believing Family to be in constant prayer for our Christ-following kiddos. They need protection from the enemy, encouragement at home, and guidance from the Holy Spirit to continue being courageous on the battlefield. If we are not doing what we can to protect them in the spiritual realm then satan will have a much easier time of grabbing a hold of their hearts. Don't be afraid to cover your children in prayer before they walk out the door or step out of the car in the mornings before going into school. Don't be afraid to have conversations with them about the things other kids their age are probably doing-and certainly don't hold back when telling them what God wants for their young hearts.

Our kiddos are the next fighting chance we have of bringing the kingdom of Heaven here on earth. Don't let the plans of the enemy ruin the plans God has for your kid.

In Him,

Meg

Whoa, Didn't See this Coming....

In the notebook section of my iPhone, I have a dedicated "Note" to potential blog ideas. I type them in whenever inspiration strikes or when God has delivered something to me I don't want to forget. I was going through them this morning, deciding what to blog about, when I found one that made me laugh. It doesn't really have a point but clearly I was just venting. So I am going to start this blog off with that story, then lead into something that really matters! :)

These days with work and rehearsal for the musical I am catching dinner at inconsistent hours everyday. One day last week, it was 10 o clock before I was able to eat dinner and I was grabbing it on my way home. I live a very inconvenient 30 minutes from where I work and do all my other activities, and I take back roads home to attempt to shave off 5-10 minutes. So my places of food collecting are the Kum and Go gas station, Burger King, and Dairy Queen. (And if you wanna get super fancy and drive a little longer, then Sonic becomes an option.) On this particular night I was dreading having to eat fast food because I really wanted something healthier or home-cooked. I was having flashbacks of the documentaries I've seen on how McDonalds and places like them are making their chicken products and I wanted to GAG! I have come to the conclusion that if you can not pull the meat apart as if literally cutting it right off of the bone, then it's probably a nice mixture of chicken mush-beak, feet, wing, bone, head, brain-GAG again. Ok, enough of that. So I decided on Burger King because I hadn't been there in a long time, and literally was thinking out loud "I hope they have healthy options!" To my surprise, when I got to the menu, almost the WHOLE menu had changed! The quality of their meat as well as their meal options and side options as well. WHOA! (then of course silently I "hoped" for a million dollars....it did not happen). I decided on a chicken wrap and it was a perfect portion and oh so YUMMY!!

The thing I wrote in my Notes section in my phone was this "Sonic taking away healthy options. BK adding." What that means, is last Summer, I went to the Sonic in Paragould where I live and was told I could have a salad but it wouldn't have cheese because they were out. So I texted my cousin when I left (who worked there at the time) and am like, dude what's up with no cheese? He informed me that ALL Sonic's were getting rid of their SALADS! I was APPALLED!! At the time that was almost the only thing I would eat at Sonic-and their grilled chicken salads were SO yummy!! Throughout the course of the year following that conversation, SONIC was RID of ALL healthy options on the menu (except apple slices that I am aware of-but really who knows about those). In an age where the top killer of people in this country are problems caused by weight and food consumption, you would THINK that for humanitarian purposes, people who can somewhat control (or at least affect) what people eat-they would want to BETTER their options!

They replaced salads and wraps with a multitude of HOTDOG options! HOT DOGS!! Need I say more? In contrast, Burger King has added REAL chicken tenders (not the processed junk they used to have or that McDonalds still has). They have taken away some of their JUNK and added in healthier junk! :)

Maybe I am naive, but if I were to ever get in the food business I would create a FAST FOOD restaurant that SOLELY serves Organic, healthy food. I don't mean healthier options compared to the rest of the crap on the menu (sorry I said crap...and again just then), but TRULY healthy food. Organically grown fruits and veggies from original heirloom seeds if available. Whole grains and gluten free sandwiches, as well as soups. Maybe lean turkey meat with NO hormones pumped into it. Sure there are places like this now, but not places that are available to drive through and get it. And that's what the American people want-instant gratification. Quick. Easy. One hour lunch break, 20 plus minutes to drive, they need something they can grab and eat in the car! And don't they deserve a HEALTHY place to do so??

There are SO many testimonies about diet altercation curing cancer, diabetes, heart disease and SO much more. And it's true! God put everything we would ever need on this earth already-not just food wise but medicine wise as well. And everytime we put something in our bodies that it was not designed to have inside of it, we are ruining it's original intent. (I say this as I am sucking down a Dr. Pepper so please mind you that I am JUST as guilty as everyone else.) Habits are hard to break. But I think they are worth it to break.

Ok, so maybe I just wrote an entire blog on this subject on accident. Somewhere halfway through God told me that this subject actually DOES matter so I will write another blog on what I was going to talk about.

Last thoughts. If you are a person with many illnesses or types of illnesses that might be with you forever, I really encourage you to look into your diet and change what you are putting into your body. As well as considering switching over to all herbal medicines and foods that provide healing, and laying off the chemically processed pills that were never designed by God to be put into your body in the first place. And finally I encourage you PRAY over your illness. We take for granted that we have God living inside of us and can claim healing in His name-so we don't do it. Our first inclination is to run to a doctor, shove chemicals down our throats that are ultimately killing us (because it's robbing our bodies the ability to heal itself as it was created to do), then move on with our lives the next day. Instant gratification. Quick. "Easy". Yet...killing us.

In Him,

Meg

The One Sent

Before church this morning, I prayed that God use my preacher to deliver a message that my heart needed to hear. And boy is the Lord faithful! Today's message was delivered as part of a series called "What is the Gospel?" but what I received in today's sermon was even so much more than what I bargained for. There are several points that hit hard in my heart, and maybe not on the cohesive level of this particular series, but nevertheless driven to a place deep within that was longing for encouragement.

One of the messages God was driving home to me today is this notion that we are representatives or ambassadors for Christ. Of course I have heard this phrase hundreds of times, but for whatever reason, it truly clicked today. I GOT IT! I think sitting in the pew I even might have given an audible 'aha!' We traveled to a section in scripture that even uses the word co-workers for God. I got over a speedbump I guess you could say. For example, my car is very low to the ground. There are some speedbumps that mean nothing to me. Yet, there are some in town (Hastings parking lot for example) that are much too high/large for my little Mariah Camry to cross over, therefore I have to go around them. But there is always that pause of questioning what to do. It literally stops me in my tracks. So back to my point-there are speedbumps like this in life, that seem to slow us down. Obstacles that hinder us from getting where we need to go. I am not certain what my obstacles or speedbumps are in this particular situation, but for whatever reason, something was not allowing me to grasp this concept of representing Christ.

I began then, racking my brains for times I have been an appropriate or accurate ambassador for Christ in some of my daily situations. And when you look at our mission as Christians in this way, it really shows you where you are NOT living up to the mission or calling we've been given. There were so many situations I was thinking of. Oh I shouldn't have said that, I should have said this or done that. I should not have been there, or I should have gone there. There is nothing, obviously, I can do about the poor representation of Christ that I've been so far in my life-but there are definite changes I will be making from now on, now that I am more aware of this larger calling we have all been given.

Which leads me to my next point. Gods mission. This morning, it sunk in that "our mission becomes Gods mission." When put this way, again it takes the ME out of my life and replaces it with Gods will FOR me. And understanding that calling, in my opinion, means constantly being in communication with God. Becoming so in tune with the Holy Spirit and the direction it takes us that instead of our own selfish desires ruling our actions and decisions, it becomes Gods desires for us.

I wrote a blog recently about things that separate us from receiving God's love to the fullest, one of those things being sin. Mr. Jimmy, our preacher, said this morning that "His kingdom can not come where sin reigns." AHHHHH!!!!! ***LIGHTBULB*** (At this point I am saying out loud to myself, 'have I been asleep under a rock??"). All of these dots were connecting, making SO much sense to me, and encouraging my spirit to do SO much more than what I have been doing in my life. Sin does not only reign in this world and in the lives and hearts of others but it reigns in your life EVERY time you choose sin over God. So if His kingdom can not reign where sin reigns then what does that mean about our lives right now? We have GOT to literally be taking up our crosses, and constantly mindful of the sin that enters our lives-even in the smallest of ways.

Just like an infant can not be an adult in a few hours, I believe that sin can not blossom overnight either. I don't have a feeling that I will wake up tomorrow and murder anyone because POOF I decided I wanted to. I would imagine, that just like with seed of light and hope and good things from Christ, there can also be seeds of doom and darkness and negativity planted into our lives as well. And a small act of jealous feelings could lead to jealous rage which could lead to violence which could lead to murder. A small negative thought when looking into a mirror on a "bad hair day" could lead to insecurity, self destruction, eating disorder, and ultimately death. See how it can grow? So we as believers not only need to be mindful and hate our sin, but we need to start recognizing sin early before it plants more and more seeds of darkness in our souls.

And one last point I want to touch on before I wrap this up is this idea that the whole world's eyes are watching us. Not just believers but non-believers too. As Mr. Jimmy said, "we mediate God's grace to the watching world." If they are not receiving love, comfort, grace, and forgiveness from us, the "ambassadors" of Christ, then what are they going to think about Christ and how he might change their lives too? I have a younger cousin who is basically a sister to me, we are very close. And when I was a teenager (which she is now, 16), my aunt would tell me, "be careful what you do because small eyes are always upon you." It was true then, and it is true now since I am a teacher of small children. Back then, it was a matter of being careful of what I did or said-in the sense of, I could do whatever I wanted as long as she-this one small human-didn't see me. But now, that phrase means much more to me. If you have something pure and honest and good and loving inside of you, there should be no need to "be careful" of not getting caught. More so, you should be living out loud so that people everywhere can constantly see how you live and the God that you represent.

The message this morning was so kingdom focused, and so inspirational on many levels. I have been praying about, raising a little money for, and really researching doing missions. But I don't take for granted knowing that my everyday life is a "mission". My preacher said, "God's kingdom can't go where God's kingdom people don't go." It is SO true! I can't expect ole Bob down the street to wake up and be a christian if I have never taken the time to invest in his life. I can't pray for family of mine to accept Christ and live like Him when I am not making myself available for them to see an example of my own life.

Basically I am walking away from today a proactive, contagious Christian. Praying for guidance along the way. Specifically this morning, I prayed for the Holy Spirit to transition with me in this next season as my COACH. I need encouraged and to felt rooted for. As well as I need urging in my direction and my decisions and the confidence to take that step out of my box and DO what needs to be done. I need to be PUSHED, not because I am failing or not doing what is expected of me, but because God knows I can do and be more because I am designed to do and be more. So I need a coach's push.

I have so much excitement and faith in these next steps of my life as I apply for missionary schools, dive into some purpose driven missions in my business and day to day life. I accept all prayers and encouragement from anyone who has advice or would love to donate to the cause! I am so blessed to be given this forum to spread God's word and all that He is doing to radically change my life! Thank you for taking this journey with me :)

In Him,

Meg

March 24th. Gone But Never Forgotten.

I still remember March 24th, 1998 like it was yesterday. I remember what I wore-black leggings and a blue and white long sleeve shirt. I remember what the weather was like-overcast and a little gloomy. I remember the drive to school that morning and thinking to myself, this day feels like it's going to be GREAT!

I was very wrong.

Like every other normal day my dad drove my sister and I to school. She was dropped off first at Westside Middle School, and I was last, only right up the hill, at Westside Elementary school. The schools were within walking distance from one another-connected by a side walk. I was in 4th grade that year, and anticipating the new 5th grade wing being built down the hill at the middle school. My class would be the first fifth graders down there, and we would be joining the 6th and 7th grades.

The day started like any other, but when lunch time came around-everything changed. I remember after lunch being outside for recess, hearing the bell ring, and coming inside. My classroom was the only 4th grade room on a different hall than the other 4th grade classes. We were on a hall with some elective rooms and special education, and after our recess was over the special education got the playground all to themselves.

While sitting in class, getting ready for our next lesson, our office secretary-Mrs. Bren-came over the intercom, screaming for teacher's to send their earthquake kits down to the office. "ABSOLUTELY NO CHILDREN ALLOWED IN HALLWAYS. LOCK EVERY STUDENT IN THE CLASSROOM!" Our teacher immediately disappeared with the kit. There was such terror in Mrs. Bren's voice and white panic on the face of my teacher, Mrs. Lee, when she returned that I knew something bad was happening. However, there was little time for conversation, for the special education kiddos were still outside playing. As fast as humanly possible every available teacher ran to the playground and got them inside to their classroom.

Once inside, we were all begging Mrs. Lee to let us know what was going on. I later found out that some of the teachers in the other classrooms were not telling their students what was going on, and in one case I know, telling them there had been a robbery in town and this was just a precaution. But Mrs. Lee told us the truth.

"There has been a shooting at the middle school."

I fell to my knees, the air in my lungs quickly escaping. I don't remember crying. But I remember walking to my desk, getting out a piece of paper, and drawing. Why I did this I will never know. But what I drew was my sister, and a gunman pointing a gun at her. And as I X'ed through the gunman I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed-"Please not Brittany, Please not Brittany!"

I was in a grade where it seems like half of us were younger siblings of the class of 2003 (7th graders at the time of the shooting). So I was not the only one, I am certain, praying for the safety of my sibling.

It seemed like we were locked in that room forever. The Bono mayor was the father of my teacher and was sending her updates as often as he could about the deceased, the injured, and any other information he could. She was then, relaying the information back to us. She was on the lookout for many students of course, one being my sister Brittany. I remember these sad, empty eyes looking back at me and shaking her head when questioned if my sister was on the list. Later would I found out 2 Brittany's were shot. One critically injured. One, killed.

Finally our parents were making their way to us. As best as I could remember the parents reported to the office, the office called our classrooms, and then we were allowed to leave. I remember seeing kid after kid in my class get picked up. And worrying myself sick that something had happened to my sister, and that's why nobody had come to pick me up yet. But finally, my name was called. The halls were eerie and so still, yet filled with so much sorrow you could hardly breathe. I walked all the way to the office, ready to see a familiar loving face but dreading the news that might come with it.

The office was a madhouse of parents looking for their kids. And in the midst of the crowd, I saw my hero. My dad. He scooped me up in his arms and hugged me so tight. With no words we started walking down to the middle school, on that same old familiar sidewalk we had traveled so many times before. Finally, half way down the hill I asked him, "is Britt-o ok?"

He said, "She is FINE."

I let loose the emotion that had been building up inside of me all day. I was overcome with joy that when I got down to the hill I bypassed the bloody battlefield that lie ahead of me and started hugging everyone I could find. Before I ever got to my sister I ran into several of her friends and was so relieved they were ok. Later I found out that several were injured but in that moment, seeing these kids alive-kids who had been over to my house a million times for slumber parties, and birthday parties, and ballgames-I couldn't have been happier.

Finally I saw my sister. I don't remember her being particularly overcome with joy seeing me, but I remember thinking....this will forever change her life. So I didn't do the annoying little sister thing. I didn't bombard her with questions, I didn't bug her with information, I just held her hand and let her be. My dad hugged us both and said, "come on, let's go home."

We were the 3 Musketeers, my dad, sister and myself. And we knew that now that we were together, things would be ok if we could just make it home. Leaving the middle school we walked up the hill on the opposite side leaving out of the way to the high school campus. There were cars as far as the eye could see. Westside campus is set back in a lot of land. There is no 4 lane or more highway leading to it. There are 3 roads in, and the same 3 roads out. Needless to say it was a decent trek to my father's car parked miles and miles up the road. But I didn't care. I had everyone in the world that I cared about right there, holding my hand, safe and sound, and headed home.

I don't remember much once we got home. I remember when my dad found out Mrs. Shannon Wright had died, a family friend of his for a long time. He went into his room so we wouldn't see him sobbing. I had never seen my dad cry before that day. My sister says that family and friends all came by to see us, to hold us themselves and know that we were ok. I have no memory of any of it. I do remember sleeping in the living room floor that night as a family, and waking up to the nightmares of gunshots or my sister screaming.

Life has forever changed for many people, since the morning of March 24th 1998. There are so many perspectives too that we might never be able to ever hear everyone's stories about it. I know a teacher who was a hero and not only barely dodged bullets herself but pushed kids to safety and then saved the life of a student who had been shot. I know kids who were shot, or kids who were running to the gym for safety dodging bullets and watching their friends fall dead to the ground right beside them. I know 911 dispatchers who received the onslaught of calls begging for someone to come rescue us. But for those who have since left this world, my dad, our dear friend Nikki, and so many others, I will never know what that day was like for them. But I am certain, they are with our sweet friends in Heaven right now, looking down on us all today and smiling. Maybe even saying, "thank you for remembering me."

Cherish your time with your loved ones. Because you never know when tomorrow will change your life forever.

In Him,

Meg

Easter Musical Blog 1: because i knew YOU...

There is a holiday that is fast approaching. To some it means dying eggs then hunting them in tall blades of new green grass. For some it is a chance to eat a yummy meal with family. To many it is the marker of new beginnings-season, birth of plants, weather, and life. To Christians, it means all of that and more. It is the sole symbol that represents God's victory in the war between good and evil. Not that we ever doubted Him of course, but Easter-or, the Resurrection of His Son-marks the keeping of a promise He made to His people. He would send His son as ransom for our sins, for it is the ONLY way we could ever be saved. His son would die for us, but rise again with new life, and speak on our behalf when it comes our turn to come face to face with our Father in Heaven.

No matter what you think of Easter, it is a holiday that is celebrated everywhere you look. From Easter parties in classrooms at school, to pictures made with the Easter bunny, to area churches all across the world holding special Easter events! This year, for Easter, my congregation is joined by members of multiple other congregations in the community to present a contemporary Easter musical titled "Tell Me the Story."

With permission from the director of the show, I have decided to do a series of blogs leading up to the weekend of the show. For this is not just a Southwest event. Nor should the experience solely belong to those who are involved in the musical itself. There is room for all in our family, the body of Christ, to see and enjoy what is going on behind the scenes. Some of you reading this have never seen the show at all, so WARNING-this blog will tell a little bit about the characters, or specific scenes, and some of the songs within the musical will be revealed. But there will be no spoiler to what happens in the end of the show. So if you want to be a part of this story, I encourage you to keep reading. And know that whether you are BEHIND the curtain, or IN FRONT of it...you are every bit as a part of the telling of this Story, as we are.

Today's post is going to come from an experience I literally just had while sitting on my couch, preparing for something. See, I am a drama and musical theater teacher at the local theater here and the first week of May we will be holding our Spring Showcase-where all classes (from drama to art to dance) get to showcase what they have been learning all semester. I have 5 classes this semester, 4 of which will be performing. I have 3 levels of musical theater, and today I was presented the task of trying to figure out what number my Musical Theater 2 class is going to perform for the showcase. Weeks of research and evaluation of what the kids can do, has lead me to the number "What is this Feeling? (Loathing)" from the hit Broadway musical, WICKED.

I was on YouTube, watching videos for Loathing, when of course, I got side tracked. I began watching anything WICKED I could find on YouTube, most of the clips being absolutely hysterical. I couldn't stop watching. Then, I came to one titled "Kristen's last performance of For Good." For those of you unfamiliar with the show, there is a song at the end where the two friends must part ways and they sing this song to each other in which the lyrics sing "because I knew you I have been changed for good." Well, this particular video was Kristin Chenewith's very last performance. She was the originator of the part, Glinda.

Needless to say, while singing this song with her friend Elphaba (played by Idina Menzel), she gets extremely emotional, for this is the very last time she will sing with her this song. They workshopped the musical and originated their parts for many years before the show ever came out on Broadway, so this performance shows the emotion of years of dancing and laughing and crying, and costumes and makeup, and travel, and talk shows, and loss and gain and so much more-wrapped up into a performance of a song where two best friends must say goodbye to each other once and for all.

Listening to the two amazing actor's get choked up and barely make it through the performance brought tears to my eyes. It's beyond difficult I'm certain, having to say goodbye to someone you love that much. Someone who has taught you so much about yourself. Someone who loved you not because of what you do but because of who you are. Someone who unconditionally loved you and was always there for you. Someone, who potentially, saved your life.

So what does this have to do with our Easter musical, you might be wondering? The song "For Good" from Wicked, is in this show, Tell Me the Story. Like Wicked, it is sung by two women, but not to each other. Instead, they are singing it to their Savior-Jesus. The two women are found in the Gospels Mark and John. One, the woman who's faith is so strong she knows that touching even just the hem of Christ's robe will heal her. The second woman, from John, who has been caught in adultery-could have been stoned to death had it not been for Jesus and his grace. Both of these women encounter Christ in a holy and powerful way, and it forever changes them.

I don't believe that you can truly encounter Christ, and walk away unchanged. The women in WICKED sing about a friendship that has impacted their lives, and are grieving the loss of that friend's presence in their life. The women in Tell Me the Story, sing about a LOVE that has impacted their lives forever as well. But instead of grieving loss, they are rejoicing at their GAIN.

The song, "For Good", is powerful on so many levels. After hearing the song and performing the number and loving the show for so many years, it still has not lost any of it's meaning or power. However, being in the Tell Me the Story musical, has in fact changed the meaning of the song for me. When I sing it in my car now or playing around in my room, I picture Jesus, and what His presence has done in my life. And how His love and grace has changed me, FOR GOOD.

If you have never heard the song, I encourage you to YouTube it-and take part in this special moment with me during the show. I hope all who read this find themselves in downtown Jonesboro at the Forum Theater Easter weekend, prepared to see the story that changes EVERYTHING. You will NOT leave that place, unchanged.

April 6th at 7pm. April 7th at 2pm and 7pm. ADMISSION IS FREE.

Letting Go

In life, there is right and there is wrong. There are things we should do and things we shouldn't do. There are things we try and hang on to and, things we need to simply let go. I am sitting in my living room, alone, reflecting on the movie I just watched.

Castaway.

Sure, I have seen it before. But not since it has been in theaters. I got a kick out of seeing just the title alone on the TV Guide and decided I needed to watch it again. It's surprising how pop culture can sometimes teach us the best lessons. Maybe it is all in the art of connecting the lines and spinning ideas. Or maybe the writer's know they are genius and specifically write moral code into trendy box office hits. Either way, I was struck with a VERY important lesson tonight while watching Tom Hanks struggle for his life on that island.

There is a moment where Chuck (Hanks's character) builds a raft, ties on Wilson (his best friend, who is a volleyball) and heads out to sea. He finds himself in the open ocean, thousands of miles from land and who knows how many miles from any other human. On his first night drifting out into the unending blue, he encounters a unit of whales, singing their lullaby into the dark night sky. I don't know about you, but I have always been and am a little still, afraid of the dark. Maybe it is the unknown or unseen that frightens me more. But I could never imagine being unprotected, unsheltered alone in the middle of the ocean let alone to then witness a killer whale swimming by. The things beneath Chuck and Wilson were deadly creatures who could kill with little or no effort.

But, they had a lifeline--the raft. When you think of the word "life line" you may think of the silly gameshows 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' or 'Cash Cab' where having a winning life line could win you the game and therefore lots of money. But in Chuck's situation, having a life line was the difference between life and death. Our greatest life line we have and will ever have, is God. And He too is the difference between life and death. We all too often take for granted the evil that lurks beneath the waters and in the dark abyss of night and how blessed we are to have a Savior that has already won the war for us.

After a pretty nasty storm, Chuck's raft takes a beating. He awakens to find that Wilson has fallen off of the raft and drifted out to sea. He has been alone on an island for over 4 years and his best friend in the whole world, Wilson (a volleyball) is no longer within reach. And Chuck panics. He jumps in the water ready to set out and save his friend. But swimming no further then a few feet he looks back at his raft and realizes he can not leave it behind. So he swims back, grabs a rope on the raft, and starts swimming once again toward Wilson-this time, dragging the raft by the rope as he goes. But it becomes clear very quick that he will not be successful doing this either. Trying to hold onto his life line and swim after what he wants only leaves him stuck in the middle, overwhelmed, and barely able to keep his head above water.

Now imagine that Wilson is actually something we desire. Something that is occupying our time and hearts and energy that should instead be devoted to God. Maybe it's an old flame, or a new relationship. Maybe it's a draining friend, or a busy job. Maybe it is a chaotic marriage or unorganized household. Whatever it is, picture it getting away from you. And you panic, because it's been so long since you've been without it. So you jump off your life line (away from God) and start to swim after it. Only realizing that, silly you, you need your raft! So you swim back for God, and tug him along after the thing that makes you happy. Only He won't budge. Because you can't have both. Naturally, you struggle in the middle for some time. Letting the fight overwhelm you and feeling the waves overcome you every now and then. It's time to choose one, and let go of the other. But what is your choice?

In the movie, Tom Hanks chooses the raft. Because as much as he loves Wilson, Wilson can't save him. But his raft, his life line, CAN. We as humans put so much faith into our relationships that sometimes we forget that we had a Savior come to rescue us because other humans can not. But we are stubborn and we want what we want, so we fight tooth and nail and we do not let go. We will not relinquish! But soon will come that moment, where you find yourself drifting out to sea--chasing that thing you want SO bad! You know the darkness surrounding you is waiting to eat you alive, so you must make a choice. QUICK!

When is it time to let go of that thing you keep chasing that is pulling you further and further from your life line? Who are you going to choose? The thing that can ruin you??

Or the only One who will SAVE you?

In Him,

Meg

Desiring God

I make a daily commute from where I live (Paragould) to the town I go to church, work, and visit with family and friends (Jonesboro). It is about a 3o minute drive typically filled with my singing at the top of my lungs until I reach other drivers and become too embarrassed to do so. But today I turned off my pipes and turned on a wonderful sermon from Paul Washer.

In the midst of God using Washer to speak about the complacency of the church, how the Gospel is a scandal, and how in order to teach salvation we must first recognize condemnation-I was struck with the overwhelming and sad revelation that I do not desire God first. Some days I do, and some moments I do, sure, but in my life as a whole....I do not.

In church we sing songs with lyrics like "You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship You." But do we REALLY, "long to worship" our God? Sometimes with no effort, I wake from a deep slumber with a worship song stuck in my head that apparently gets lodged in my brain overnight while I sleep. But rarely, if never, have I woken up to then fall on my face in joy and ecstasy to worship my amazing Lord. And we certainly don't do/see this in corporate worship. Why? The answer, Washer says, is because we are civilized. And being "civilized" is damning to the church.

So some of you who know me well might be thinking 'aw Meg, you're silly. Of COURSE you desire God!' I have claimed to, yes. And I have believed it, sure. But I don't. And here is how I know.

I do not hate my sin.

When I watch the news and see a broadcast over child molesters or kidnappers, I HATE that sin. When I experience persecution from complacent "Christians", I HATE that sin. When I see the effects of parental abuse or neglect and divorce on children's lives that I come into contact with, I HATE that sin. But sin is separation from receiving God's love. No matter the sin. So why don't I despise my own as much as other's?

The only way to fully desire a RIGHTEOUS God is to HATE our sin, and desire righteousness.

Our sole purpose in existing is to esteem God and to desire to know Him. Yet society places sole emphasis on getting through this life and making it to Heaven, holding low regard to intimately knowing our God. What if Heaven is not streets of gold and gates of pearl? Will you then long to go? What if it is streets of feces and rusted gates....but God is there. Would you then long to be there? Washer points out that eternal life starts now, not when you die. So are we, as Christians, living our lives in a desperate chase to know God? Do we hate our sin and desire righteousness? If the answer to those questions for you personally is no, then my next question is why?

I don't have those answers for your life, but I have some vague ideas of the answers of why when it comes to reflecting on my own life. And through prayer and meditation and reflection of God's Word-I hope to encounter why I don't hate some sins in my life. I hope to encounter what keeps me from falling on my face in pure joy when worshiping my Savior. I hope to face what strongholds keep me from abandoning it all to seeking God's face and knowing His voice so intimately there is no mistaking it from my own or those of my enemies. I desire to desire God, if that makes any sense.

This blog is something heavy on my heart. No answers really, yet, a conversation starter between believers. I hope it finds you where you need to be found at this exact moment. And if you want to talk more about it, pray together, worship in abandon with one another-I encourage all emails, texts, facebook messages. Anything. We are family-so let's learn these lessons together and as one, start DESIRING OUR GOD.

In Him,

Meg

MeaganCremeens@gmail.com

Meagan Alyse Cremeens--Facebook

The Battle Belongs to the Lord

Typically when I blog, I am replaying a message God has put on my heart. Maybe sharing visions he has shown me or elaborating on a word or situation He has given me. And other times, I am simply just talking. As me. Sharing my heart with the world. There is no specific lesson in these soul-bearing moments. Just...word vomit? Anyway, this week I experienced some thing and wanted to be able to share. So here it is:

I am a strong believer in the claim that we as the body of Christ are all given specific spiritual gifts. That we are anointed in something that is intended on aiding the church and progressing the kingdom of Heaven on earth. This is most likely not news to anyone reading this if you have read any of my other blogs. I am uncertain what you would call my gift...discernment maybe? But I am super sensitive to situations of spiritual warfare. I pick up the darkness and evil that surround a person, that surround situations even. I feel in my spirit when there are battles in the spiritual realm near me. I have seen darkness in the spiritual realm as well as feeling it. And it all affects me, pretty horribly usually.

If you have ever had an anxiety attack or panic attack, this is sort of what this spiritual attack (for lack of a better word) can feel like. Shortness of breath, a feeling of utter hopelessness, extremely sick to my stomach, a feeling of no control over my body-basically, NOT FUN.

I entered into a situation on Tuesday, helping out an old friend, where i was surrounded by darkness. This friend has been having a horribly hard time lately, suffering from drug addiction and now the potential loss of her kids and family, as well as some other extremely difficult circumstances. I was helping her watch her kids so we were together all day. Without indulging too much for the sake of this friend, let's just say the entire day was very challenging to me. It was hard to watch her suffer in the moments of breaking down and hard to see the affect it was having on her children. It was clear to see that this role of stay at home mom to a set of 3 year old twins has put her in survival mode. There is no thriving, no growing, no learning. There is survival. Making it from one meal to the nap to to daddy coming home time, with little joy in between. Although I was there to help her, I found myself overwhelmed with the task and commend her (and any stay at home mom) for her effort.

I guess the most heart breaking part was seeing her give up. And feeling in those hard moments that sense of frustration and defeat, and realizing that these negative emotions were probably what led to her turning to drugs instead of to God. Being so sensitive to spiritual warfare, I felt all day the growing darkness and anxiety and hopelessness that surrounded the situation I was in.

When I left, I went to my friend Catherine's house. I was there for about an hour when it all came "tumbling down". I got extremely ill, that same feeling of crashing blood sugar, sweating, horribly nauseous, panicky feeling. And I knew I was under attack. We went into her kitchen and there she attempted to feed me -to aid in what felt like my blood sugar bottoming out. After little progress with that, she placed her hands on me and prayed over my body. As I heaved into sobs feeling overwhelmed with a hopeless never going to feel better feeling, there she was, unwavering and faithfully speaking to God on my behalf. After praying, she opened the Word and started reading scripture out loud to/over me. I could feel the oppression lifting off of me somewhat-enough to finally move after what seemed like hours there. I traveled to my grandmother's house down the street where I got sick one last time and was able to lay on her couch to rest. The time was about 9:30 and I managed to text some of the most wonderful prayer warriors I am blessed to have in my life, knowing they are so faithful in praying for me when these attacks happen. Almost an hour later, I felt that last bit of darkness lift off of me-or maybe it was the end of the battle and the darkness being banished. I don't have special spiritual realm glasses where I can see what is going on, all I (me personally, because I believe some people DO have the gift of seeing) can do in those situations is go on my FEELING. After feeling that last bit of darkness leave, I was able to take my first deep breath in hours. I could feel everything inside of me-veins, organs, cells, etc-stop shaking and settle into a lethargic slumber. I was no longer sick to my stomach, but at complete peace. I closed my eyes and when I finally fell asleep for the night, it was the most PEACEFUL and RESTFUL nights sleep I have had in months.

The next day I felt like a new woman. There was no physical hint of having been in that dark situation the night before, but in my spirit there was a change. A positive change though! I was resound to no longer being a step behind what Satan throws my way, but ready to train for battle and be prepared to fight. Although I entered into the situation Tuesday under MUCH prayer coverage throughout the entire day, there are things missing in my daily walk with God that I am certain will prepare me better to face battles like those. It's a season of exciting movement, understanding where I was and have been and knowing that I don't want to be there again. God is doing so much in me these days and revealing SO much to me about situations like this week, that I can't wait to share.

So maybe this is not a blog about learning something specific or to prove any kind of point. But it is my life-the good and the not so fun. And I pray that it finds you absolutely wherever you need to be found upon reading it. Even though this is not a big fat lesson kind of blog, there is something that I would say as encouragement to anyone reading. And it is that spiritual warfare is real. Spiritual gifts are real. And those are are walking that line of the spiritual and physical are subject to all that I have experienced in this post and much more. But God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power! So there is no reason to be fearful or scared of that is going on in the spiritual realm-but there is a reason to be AWARE of it. So you can learn from what's going on and spread that knowledge to other's fighting battles of their own.

Thanks for listening,

In Him,

Meg

Hearing God's Voice

You know how every now and then, you pick up on a hand full of situations that all seem to be telling you the same general idea? Maybe you've been praying hard about whether to get a new car or not, and weeks go by months maybe, and it's no longer the focal point of your mind, yet there will be a days worth of situations that present overwhelming conviction to make that decision? Or maybe there is nothing you are asking or seeking an answer to, yet there will be several moments that connect a general idea for you-a revealing I like to call it. Something God has been revealing to me lately is that He is consistently trying to reveal things to us. He is always talking to us, showing us things-yet, we don't always hear Him. Why is that I wonder?

I heard once the statistic that a newborn recognizes its' mother's voice upon birth, but it takes 14 days to recognize its' father's. 1 Corinthians 13 says:

¹¹When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. ---The Message

When we are babies, we drink milk. We don't do much other than poop, eat (drink), and sleep. If we are still doing only that as adults, then we have a problem right? And at that same notion, if we are adults trying to still survive on our mommy's breast milk, then we have more serious issues, correct? If it takes a newborn 14 days to recognize their father's voice, it makes sense then doesn't it that if we are spiritually still infant's, then we will also not recognize our father's voice?

Notice, too, that I am not saying "hear" our Father's voice. Because we do hear it, don't we? On those random days where things lineup or make sense, the dots are connected, and the general idea is understood. We "get it" then, right? So why not everyday? He is constantly talking to us so why are we not constantly hearing him? Just like the statistic says, we must recognize our Father's voice-and it takes GROWING in order to do so. Without growing, there is no distinguishing what is our voice, what is God's, and what is the voice of the enemy. So how do we grow?

We are constantly in the Word, learning about our Father and following the life of the Son. We are claiming freedom in Jesus Christ against our sins and the lies that bind us to those sins. That in turn allows room for the Holy Spirit to truly move in our lives and tangible ways. We are becoming less and less so that He can become more and more.

Secondly, we need to be getting rid of the distractions. What seems to be true in my own life is that going to church, being in the Word, and prayer only go so far until I completely surrender all that I have up to God. That includes my time, my hobbies, my job, my relationships-all of it. I heard a statistic this past weekend that only 10 percent of the WORLD has hot and cold running water. First of all, I was blown away. I could not believe it. Secondly, it got me to thinking about things we consider to be blessings.

So often, we thank God for things as blessings, when in turn they are actually distractions from hearing Him. For example, having a car. Transportation is a blessing when we need to get from place to place. But if we didn't have a car, there is always the bus, a cab, trains, a bike, or good old fashion walking. Life is not impossible without a car, just a little more challenging. And there is certainly no need to have a car worth half a million dollars. Or even have a hundred thousand dollars. There is no need. Then that "blessing" just turns into a status symbol and greed. Greed is a sin and that separates us from God and recognizing His voice. Another example might be a computer. It can be considered a blessing for work and research and education purposes. However, the tools that seem to set us free can also so easily bind us. The internet is full of traps. Porn, facebook, twitter, Pinterest, itunes, youtube, and the list goes on and on and on. Sure, those are not all horrible things, however, they are all in a capacity distracting us from hearing God because they take time away from the things that allow us to hear Him.

The rest of 1 Corinthians 13 says:

¹²We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

¹³But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

There will come a day when there will be nothing that hinders us from hearing and seeing God. But until that day, we are being trained for that time. And in that preparation comes the discipline of hearing our Father. To stop being infants, no longer drinking milk, but instead growing up, and eating meats and other foods that nourish us. Ephesians 4:14 says:

^14-16No prolonged infancies among us, please. We'll not tolerate babes in the woods, small children who are an easy mark for impostors. God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love. ----The Message

So I encourage you, brother and sister, to pray, to fast, to meditate, to be in God's Word, to open your mind and your heart to all He is constantly trying to show us. And to remember, even in those times you feel defeated or are seeking for a purpose through the pain, He is there. God is in the business of turning our mess into something beautiful that will glorify Him. So trust that although we can not understand sometimes, all things will come together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) And most importantly....

Listen. Your Father is talking to you, right now. Are you an infant who doesn't recognize His voice? Or are you ready to grow up, hear God, and most importantly, know Him?

In Him,

Meg