The Blind Side

Holidays have the tendency of encouraging people to take some time out of their normal day to day life, to reflect on things they normally wouldn't think about. Some take time to meditate on the blessings God has given them. Some take time out to dwell over memories of the past. Regardless of what holiday it is, or what that holiday provokes you to do, more than likely you do something or think something slightly different then you would on any other random day.

This weekend being Easter and all, I have had reflected on my family. And I am not talking about my blood family, but all of the other people that surround me in my day to day life. You see, I have not always been a Christian-in fact, it is a fairly new deal for me. I did not have a typical "Christian' up-bringing. And never once did I feel a reason to need or depend on a group of people at the church I randomly attended in my youth. If you take a look at my life now, all of that has dramatically changed.

Upon having been saved and attending my current church home, I was adopted into a family who truly and genuinely loves me. They immediately accepted me, and not love me because of what I do but because of who I am. Have you ever found this familial connection in people who were not your blood family?

Growing up in the house I grew up in and with alot of the family I had was not only a nightmare, but hell on earth. I didn't know the Lord and I didn't know people who loved the Lord. I didn't know anything but fights and violence and anger and rage. Then came the abandonment and alcoholism and abuse. Not only did I endure this from my immediate family, but those who were on the outside looking in did not do enough (if anything) to stop it. I grew up never feeling safe. Never feeling wanted. And very rarely feeling loved. Now, being an adult now, the dynamic of these relationships have changed somewhat of course. I no longer desire for the mom who walked out on us to read me bedtime stories at night. I no longer desire for the sister who raised me (but resents me now) to protect me from the monsters of the world. My need for this blood 'family' who time and time and time and time again has let me down and left me broken, my need for them has changed.

Don't get me wrong, because I love them all. And sometimes when we get a chance to visit, we have fun. Other times it is awkwardly apparent how I don't fit in with them. Rarely it is wonderful and everyone gets along and we have fun and eat and hang out without getting annoyed with one another. Regardless, my blood family never really taught me what a family was in actuality, supposed to be like. My sister will tell you that that kind of "family"-the kinds who take family vacations together and love each other and go to church together and are happy-she will tell you those are just fairytales....that it never really happens like that. The opposite of that is all she's ever known.

But you see, I have had the amazing and unique oppurtunity to witness that kind of family, that kind of love, firsthand. I live with a family whom I also go to church with, met at church last year in fact, and in the past 6 months or more I have witnessed family dinners, amazing and fun-filled vacations that didn't end with someone verbally abused, homework time with kids. I have gotten to see a husband and wife work in a partnership and bring a new baby into the world, a new baby who will never be more loved then by her amazing parents-parents who know how to love her because they know how much they in turn are loved by our Creator. I have witnessed basketball games, and picnics in the front yard, and walks around the neighborhood, and Disney World, and most importantly....LOVE!! Because I am not an intruder into their family, I am part of their family. They are my family.

And not just the family I live with, but there are so many more people who have invested into my life as well. After church today, I was asked by 3 beautiful women what my Easter plans are and if I wanted to join their family for their Easter activities. I am LOVED. People who did not physically give birth to me, did not change my diapers, did not see my very first softball game or meet my very first boyfriend--these same people LOVE me like I am one of their own. Like I am their own daughter, or sister, or aunt, or whatever! COUSIN even I don't know haha. What a wonderful feeling huh? To be loved by so many people, GOOD people who love the Lord, and want to invest into your life because they know maybe you don't have anyone else who wants to.

And I am not trying to bash my own family by any means-they all of characteristics about them that are wonderful and some that are not so wonderful, just like we all do. No one is claiming to be perfect here. But I will put it like this, once you have put the babydoll into the trash compactor and hit the "on" button....baby doesn't come out looking the same anymore. And after that she will never be the same. I wouldn't call her unfixable-because my God works miracles (even on baby dolls). But I would call her remnant. No longer will she be the same, look the same, work the same, or play the same as she once did.

We all have people in our lives who have hurt us so much so to the point that keeping them close, in the end only hurts us more. We all have situations in our past that have left us so broken that although feelings may change, what's done is done. I have been accused before of "running away"--but what I like to call it is walking away from abuse. When I was young, and in the midst of witnessing abuse firsthand, I never had a safeplace to go. Now that I am older, and i have family and friends and angels of people surrounding me at all times, I DO have a safe place to go. I do not have to be scared, or hurt, or alone anymore.

Last night I was watching the movie "The Blind Side" with Sandra Bullock, where she picks up a young boy off the street to keep him out of the cold for a night-then ends up loving him and adopting him and making him a part of her family. I couldn't help but be over-emotional, because that same scenario has happened to me most of my young adult-adult life. It started with one set of people taking me in when I had nowhere to go, loving me, being my family, etc. Then another, then another, then more. Then I accepted Christ and went to church and now I have even more amazing people who open their doors, their family, and their hearts to me every week! I have the biggest family in the world! These people are crucial to my life, and vital to my success as a person in this world.

Like Sandra Bullock says in that movie, all these kids need is someone to invest in them. To love them and show them that they have potential and to help them see what that potential can lead to. After the family adopted Michael Oher (the kid she picks up who also goes on to be an NFL football player) they enlist in a whole community of other people (tutors, teachers, friends, etc) to invest into his life, his education, his sports, and most importantly...his heart. He was forever changed. Just like I am.

I owe where I am today to my family. You know who you are. You are angels, living out a mission from God, making sure one of his orphans has a home and family, and KNOWS Love like she's never known it before. And for that, my dear friends, you will be rewarded. Thank you

In Him,

Meg

Distractions

While driving to town today, without hesitation, I preceded to do something 70% of all women do in the car. I started to put on my makeup! I remember being a kid and watching my mom, or my aunt, or when old enough-my big sister, put on their makeup while driving me to school, or running errands, or what have you. The more experienced veterans often see no use for a rearview mirror, while other women know how to strategically place their mirrors 70% on face, 20% on baby in the backseat, and 10% on the road. This being a method that has worked for generations and generations of women!

While applying the last little bit of my "beauty" (the lip gloss of course) it occurred to me what a potential distraction it is to put on your makeup while driving! (yes, i chuckled out loud just now) It also brought to mind that probably do ANYTHING while driving that isn't, oh...DRIVING, is considered a distraction.

This past weekend at the retreat I spoke at, we talked about distractions of life. Distractions in a classroom for example might be your best friend beside you trying to talk to you, your empty stomach rumbling in anticipation of lunch, an unscheduled fire drill in the middle of your math test, the kid 4 seats up who blows his nose throughout the entire class, etc, etc. Distractions are EVERYWHERE!!

Other than putting on makeup while operating a large motor vehicle, what are some other distractions on the road? Playing with your car radio? Texting/talking while driving? A crying baby in your backseat? Roadkill you have to dodge? Running out of gas on the side of the road? All of these distractions are things that keep you from getting where you need to be.

So clearly, there are distractions in all areas of life from the important things like taking a test or driving to a meeting, down to the less important things like trying to watch your favorite tv show or playing a hard video game. If there are a million distractions per every incident in life we try to do, how many of those do you think apply to our relationship with God? We are not only distracted by the distractions of life, but we let even the things that seem important to us become distractions in our relationship with God.

For example, we KNOW that nothing is more important than God and our relationship with Him. But do we treat it as important as we know it should be when we have say, a serious boyfriend who demands all of our time and attention? When we have an extremely important deadline to meet in school? When we are in the worst fight we have ever had with our best friend? When our mom is sick and we have to take care of her? Jesus is the one who said to let the dead bury the dead in Mathew 8! He said this because there is NOTHING that is more important than following Jesus Christ. So if you are not following Him, then everything else is rightly considered a distraction.

There are times when I feel the Holy Spirit inside me urging me to just open up and talk to God, but then a good song comes on the radio and I would rather turn it up and sing to it as loud as I can. There are times when I feel the Holy Spirit asking me to run away with Him for a day, but there is something happening amongst my friends or family that I don't want to miss so I turn Him down. There are times when at the end of the day, I look back at all I have accomplished and am proud of myself for being so productive-then I sadly realize, I went the WHOLE entire day without acknowledging my Love and Creator once.

DISTRACTIONS. We are all guilty of having those things in our life that keep us from falling deeper in love with the Lord, and we might have those things in our life that are even hindering our relationship with the Lord. Whether it be facebook or a relationship or drama or work or your children or whatever--they are all distractions!

Have you ever experienced watching a mom or dad or coach or even another player on the sidelines of a child's game, cheering him/her or their team on? Sometimes I feel like we push God to the sidelines of our lives, and He is over there screaming "Meg! Pass me the Ball!" or "Meg, I love you so much, won't you just give me some time today!?" or "I know you won't put me in today but I will never stop cheering you on, Meg!" Does it break your heart to know we dribble or run that ball straight across the court or feild, with our eyes so glued on the PRIZE that we never even look to see who is around us?

We have it all wrong, you see, God is not supposed to be on the sidelines. He is supposed to be the PRIZE. And our eyes should be SO fixed on Him, that we bypass all of the other players and obstacles and just, crap of this world, and focus on getting to Him! He is begging for our attention everyday, and it probably makes Him very sad when we pay Him no attention.

I encourage you to re-visit the things going on in your life. Eliminate the excess garbage that doesn't belong (that should be the easy part). Then re-evaluate how you are spending the rest of your time. If you see that God has no set place in your life, then you should change something. Because there is infinite blessing in doing things His way, and even if you feel like it is wrong to put Him before your marriage or your kids or your family, it isn't. It is what He calls us to do. Because if our relationship with Him is out of whack, then the rest of that stuff will just fall apart anyway.

Give God some time this week. He misses you.

In Him,

Meg

Beautiful For Me

I had the absolute pleasure of speaking and leading worship at a girl's retreat this past weekend. We had about 10 girls there and had a blast all weekend. We played fun ice breaker and get to know ya games. We learned about 3 aspects of worship: thanks/praise, wonder at creation, and surrender. We learned about being God's Princesses and what that should mean and look like in our lives. We got to wear tiara's and pig out on candy and watch princess movies. It was an absolute BLESSING to be at this retreat!

One of the things I was most excited about for the weekend, was being able to share my testimony! I have never really shared my full testimony as a "speaker" before to a group of people, so it was a completely new experience for me. Being able to do that was confirmation in a way that I am where I need to be and on the track God wants me to be on. He is doing things in me lately that are blessing me beyond my wildest dreams! And this weekend was icing on icing on icing on a huge cake I feel is my life now as a devout follower of Christ.

However, NOBODY is perfect (I am the farthest from it). So it did not surprise me that after leaving the girls and being on a spiritual high, I caught myself listening to and believing the untruths of Satan. For the last few days he has been whispering into my ear that I am gaining weight, that I am not pretty enough, that I need to lose weight in order to find someone to love and marry me-just all kinds of CRAZY nonsensical garbage. But, I didn't catch that it was nonsensical until I let it sit heavily on my mind for a few days.

Talking with a girlfriend of mine last night, I came to realize that girls and women of ALL ages struggle with feeling beautiful. The girls we spoke to at the retreat struggle with knowing they are beautiful (whether they know it or not) because it is apparent in how they dress, the language they use, etc. They had forgotten (or maybe not ever known) that we are Princesses, Brides of Christ and are BEAUTIFUL and have SO much worth to Him.

But even knowing that truth, I still forget it!....ALOT! And I find that other women have that same problem too! My biggest enemy used to be my mirror. I would look into it and see ugly. big. worthless. needs improvements. I don't know when it happened, but all of that changed! And now I look into the mirror and see pretty smile. big blue eyes. decent weight. hey, I'm ok! BUT the enemy in the mirror moved to pictures. Because when I see pictures of myself ALLLLLL I do is point out how HORRIBLE I look. Oh this needs to be fixed, or I look so bad in that dress, or geez my legs and arms look huge, etc etc! When did my enemy in the mirror switch to my enemy in pictures? And when my enemy in pictures in conquered, where will I find him next?

Being a woman in this world is H.A.R.D!!!! Having to fight battles with image, make being a woman even harder. The world's standards for beauty have changed, and even though we as Christian women claim not to live of this world, we let the world's standards of beauty tell us how we should feel about the way we (and others) look. God has fought the enemy. And won. Our battles are in His hands. So why do we continue to insist on taking control ourselves, only to find ourselves crying on the floor hovering over a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream? Or running and sweating like a dog counting every calorie we take in and everyone that leaves, living in such bondage? Why is satan so clever that he knows he can ALWAYS defeat us if he just starts talking 'body image' into our ears.

Our God is more powerful than satan. And you know what? The same God that sent His son to die on the cross and rise again, the same God that healed the blind and raised the dead, that SAME God-lives inside of us. So we have the power through Christ to defeat satan. God created women dead last-we are the CROWN of all creation. And like man, are made in HIS image. So you see, we have no flaws-to say that we do is saying WHOA WHOA WHOA NOW, Lord of the Heavens and Earth, Creator of all the Universes...I think you messed up somewhere. If that is the convo YOU want to have with the Lord Almighty, then be my guest!

We are not perfect. At 12 years old....to 69 years old. We are not perfect. And satan will insist on telling us how not perfect we are, every second of every day for the rest of our lives. Let the Lord surround you with peace. Ask Him to romance you, to show you His glory, and to show you how beautiful you are to Him. He will answer those prayer-ask, and you shall recieve.

Oh, and as Christian women, young and old, we could all help each other out by building one another up instead of constantly tearing others down. Even when you don't know someone, or are observing from afar-that person is still God's beautiful creation whether you see the beauty in them or not. And to talk about yourself is just as bad as talking about others. Don't you think it breaks God's heart when He hears us talk that way about our beauty? Which is in turn....talking about HIS beauty??

"Has anybody told you, youre beautiful? You might believe if you could see what I see. Cause everything about you, is incredible! You should have seen Me smile the day that I made you, BEAUTIFUL....for Me!"--Love always, God.

In Him,

Meg